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Luna Casablanca Feb 2016
I wake up every morning with fear and desire to be seen as one of a kind not one with a different mentality.
I go to sleep every night and dream of a world where nobody cares if you are being yourself.
The things I know that I do that remove others ease
and all my fantasies that won't ever work out.
They have me looking down on my heart and see it is broken for good.
The years before always looked better .
Nothing fixes me except pills, outdoor walks, and smiles with eye contact.
Everyone I get to know looks away eventually.
My poor skills cause these relationships to break in half.
Whoever gets the better half is the normal one.
Its hard when you keep losing friends.
Luna Casablanca Feb 2016
Don't have to be my world,
you can have others higher than me.
Don't have to go out to dinner,
I'm fine with a Netflix movie.
Doesn't have to be Titanic,
I'm fine with Mtv.
We can watch Teen Mom and Real World,
that will never be you and me.
Never did I think I was making strikes.
Nor did I want to be husband and wife.
I'm fine with no love but I want to be friends
with no sharing lies.
I just want to be a part of your life.
I look at this as our destiny,
no one is a prize.
I remember how you looked me in
the eyes.
Not one mean bone in your body and lots of
nerves as high as the skies.
I will always respect you and I'm not giving
too many tries.
But I think we deserve to have each other in our
lives.
Just sitting here with a beer you didn't buy me,
waiting on your
replies.
Come back to me.
Luna Casablanca Feb 2016
I miss you so horribly I have a heartache just to hear your voice.
I want you so badly I get sad just remembering how you used to wait for me.
Then you ran away.
This distance put you in better shape and gave you a better mind, a better girl, and a perfect life.
You were the best part of that day.
I shook and couldn't sleep all night just knowing someone liked me the way I was.
The way I was got to be too much for you to see and hear.
You are gone. Never thought I'd have to put it in words.
My words were threats and power to you.
Every other man down brings me back to you.
You are one of not that many who liked me the way I was.
I hate living with myself and having my baggage to carry,
So it's you who gets to be gone,
and you who gets love.
I'm not fighting for her to be me, since birth I've been fighting to be loved for the way I was.
But I know deep inside you were never phased to begin with.
That's why.
It's rare to find someone who accepts my differences. So it makes it hard to get over men who show interest.
Luna Casablanca Feb 2016
I was pushing down walls,
and pulling shattered glass off
my car.
I drove down a dark road with
no color in the air.
All trees were bare with no leaves
and all bushes were black and dead.
I was so scared there would be no hope
and then I saw you sitting next to me.
There was a bench I had been on to sit
two days before and you joined me.
I didn’t know you,
and I didn’t know you liked me
until you asked,
I froze,
I went back and forth from yes,
to no,
to yes,
to the date,
then I fell in love with you.
You promised,
then changed your mind.
I persisted,
I gave too much,
I got kicked out of your
circle.
Mine will always be open if you
ever decide to come back.
I’m not waiting,
I am just not mad at you.
I never was after I met you.
You were the beautiful thing
that happened when everything and everyone
else turned into something ugly.
Never my love,
but you were
my almost.
Though you are gone along with
them,
I’ll call you my almost,
and I’ll never forget how nervous
you made me.
All those nerves were worth the
lessons.
Even those that don't work out can be good memories and missed.
Luna Casablanca Jan 2016
They may have turned a moment into their
own big show,
how obnoxious it was as you smash your guitar
and there are pieces of wood all over the floor.
Though you may have been savoring yourself the
past week of how much of a burden you once had
is gone.
See where they are and know where they are from.
Going home may be harder for them than it is for you.
Meeting new people may break them as it gives you a
better life when you welcome them.
As obnoxious and selfish as they can be,
maybe the moment was about them
because they really
needed it.
Giving up the spotlight is probably the best thing
you did all day.
And it wasn’t for you so it’s a great thing you
didn’t fight.
Sometimes letting someone have the spotlight is the best thing to do.
Luna Casablanca Jan 2016
I was once a wannabe rock star.
My voice is now strained and I finally learned
Guitar.
I was once a drama queen.
I excuse myself too many times and binge eat.
I was once in love,
I now hate thinking of my ex boyfriend.
I was once insecure,
I now feel that way today.
So much changes through metamorphosis.
Caterpillars create cocoons.
My cocoon was my iPod.
Once it breaks, they become beautiful butterflies.
My music lead me to comfort as my favorite song held my hand through hard times.
My heart is the same though my tastes keep narrowing down.
Don't butterflies narrow down their flowers to lay?
Luna Casablanca Jan 2016
I want to go back to that little girl
who would run around the house and never
care an ounce about what others said.
I want to wear those elegant little dresses
and not be old enough to care about how my
body looks in the dress.
I want to be young enough to cry and
show emotion and get away with saying
what is on my mind.
I want to now tell that little girl to never again
threaten to run away from her mother and father.
I will tell her to be nicer to them and not hit,
kick, or bite them because she didn’t get
what she wanted.
That girl is now full of wisdom and sympathy.
She hugs her parents whenever she sees them and
begs to come home.
I feel no guilt from childhood because I learned
over the years.
She was actually funny, that little girl.
Now she has grown,
and she knows and teaches that
the past is in the past, though we learn and
become better the more we let go.
Just think of the child who you are better than
today.
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