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Luna Casablanca Jan 2016
Whenever I look out the window and see the sky on the verge
of a snowstorm,
I look back to the evening I was headed out and I slowed down my walking
because you messaged me.
The time I saw you after that conversation was the day you broke my heart.
Somehow, a year and a half from now I think of you and hope for another chance.
It is all because I was a nobody at the time and being in love with you would make me a somebody.
I shared too much, I over explained, and I slammed a door in your face.
I apologized, I tried to make up, but I only made it
worse.
I know you don’t want me as anything and I understand,
though I learned that
nobody can make me a somebody.
I will do that on my own,
and I think I did a better job than you
would have done.
Luna Casablanca Jan 2016
Nobody has ever shown utter ambition to sit still and
learn from something I will either destroy my looking good
or I will warm another heart and tears will be part of the
scene.
Though its only once I get to be with you every week,
you are the best part I dare say.
Men like you fight the world to be at peace as they live
their dream.
If I could be yours I and if I were a magic woman
I would make the world a better place for your dream to come true,
and I would be your queen to support your every decision made
and for all to be there to see it.
I want to see it, as you are sincere in asking to read my poems
and listen to the harmony and lyrics of my songs.
I write and dream of us to be close
I am more than ok with being just friends as long as I
live my life and you play a great part.
I will cast you as the leading male.
The thought of you is what pushes me to try harder.
Tell me,
if you think of me,
while creating your magic on the screen
as you live your dream.
I will
be there
to see
it.
But now,
I imagine,
feel nothing but
butterflies when I see and
think of you,
and hope some form of magic
happens.
Luna Casablanca Jan 2016
Look,
I wasn’t comfortable with who I was
either.
Listen,
I’m happy you found them but your becoming them
is shattering my heart.
Feel
the way I do one day because you will never be the one
to destroy a conversation because you said
something stupid.
I know you felt sorry for me but it was all insults
you had left to feed me.
I couldn’t believe the person you turned into.
You were at the start of the line driving for the first time
while I sat in the back after every tantrum.
Every tantrum was to get you to not only hear me,
but to like me the way I was.
Look,
you need to be ok with those of us who are not
putting money in the bank and who see counselors
in school.
Listen
to your heart and let it tell you to never put time nor effort into
jerks who don’t care about you.
When I saw you after a few years,
I was devastated as I felt your arrogance scrape my face
and turn it red and embarrassed.
I stayed behind after I was told with you
right there.
Since those days ended I became comfortable and you started
to like me.
I don’t want to trade places with you.
You live in a new country and I can be part of a gathering when I’m at home.
We changed and grew wise and sharp,
and I really do care
for you.
Times change and so do people.
Luna Casablanca Jan 2016
Rage is a cage that surrounds us with silence and limits our outbursts as we
Age.
We grow and stage our feelings in order to all be on the same page.
The knife I don't carry with me and the stabbing in the paper today,
Is this nothing but a favor that I don't get my way?
Rage is a cage where secrets are held and lives are lived.
When chairs are thrown in the air and glass shatters all over the floor with knives chucked but purposely missed.
My child, my love,
That is the best honesty I can give.
Don't keep an eye out, let them be.
And for goodness sake stop yelling at me!
I'll be me, you be you.
Let's take the point of view not as a
*******.
Thank you.
Luna Casablanca Jan 2016
Doubted and teased,
all together we had
that time to learn.
That time turned into
war over being the teacher.
The one who knows everything
becomes mistakenly fawned over.
The one who had to hear her name
shouted from feet of distance
had the world blow up in her face.
I had that happen,
I said I was done along with something else,
and I got up.
I left and bursted to tears then later fell asleep.
I woke up,
I felt no sorrow.
I knew what I felt and they did too,
they ignored and kept playing their game.
Some outbursts are the most needed in a situation.
You never know
until you doubt and face
the consequences.
Sometimes if you have an outburst to say how you feel,
you do everyone a favor.
Luna Casablanca Jan 2016
I lived a lie with you for so long the only way
I could express any truth would be
to humiliate myself.
Every day you would search and search until
you found the perfect reason to admonish me.
It was all because of who I
was.

Excuse me, Miss Princess,
I do not believe you are perfect.
Nobody grows by seeing everyone in
their low brow appearance.
How I told you looked beautiful though
you couldn’t bear to see your own self
in your own skin.

Though the advantages I take and
use to stand my guard will never
be anything you will ever work up to
nor will you accept yourself.
Don’t shame, just work.

Never let anyone’s appearance infuriate you.
Just call yourself beautiful.
I won’t do it again,
you’re just taking every hand reached down for you
to grab for granted.
Thus,
you suffer.
That is all
you ever
wanted
for me.
Luna Casablanca Jan 2016
This maze and cluster is a
gift and a curse
to be privileged to work
and walk amongst.
Forget being alone.
Everyone knows and everyone
see’s the transparence within
the eyes blinking and pace of a walk.
I walk alone fast and furious
to avoid speaking to
anyone who has the mind
of a Queen.
I find a spot sit and rest in fetal
position.
I get walked by and noticed
every time.
No place is mine here in this
maze called school.
So just leave me alone.
You don’t need to know right away what I have.
I will go home and I’m going to stay here.
I will reach the end of the Maze someday.
The finish line may get broken before I
cross but I’ll be one to complete
this challenge.
Learn from the ones who laugh at the
behavior and strike the ones who
don’t accept.
Maybe they are lost in the maze too.
I have a life,
so I walk this maze,
and say hi as I go.
I never hide,
I show as much as I want to.
The maze is not mine, but my pace is.
Even if I walk with a gift and
a curse deep inside,
I think well of the people who see
no curse and walk with me in the maze.
We finish,
together.
This is why
I don’t
hide.
Having a mental illness and being on a college campus can limit privacy and be very hard,
but we can do it if we put our minds to
success.
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