And darling I
don't mind lighting
myself up in flames
to light up your
dark* ~

All these pent up frustrations,
Banging on my insides,
Playing their anthems on my bones,
Waving a flag for news of the fallen,
Take back my morals,
Return me to my bed,
I'd trade my soul for pocket change,
Sick of the tongues knotted in nooses,
Tired of the silence used and useless,
These pens done gone and run out on me,
Dried themselves of all that is left,
So slit my wrists and write with blood,
Because that's all this really is anyways

Thinking your feelings?
Try tasting with your earlobe...
wrong ***** is used.

remember middle school?
**** that ****.

Hurt
without moving.
Poison
without touching.
Bear the
truth and the lies.
And are not to be judged
by their size.

This friendship is fraying
at the edges
holes and tears are forming
throughout the fabric
and everything good is starting to slip
through the cracks falling
and drowning in the Never sea
turning to myth
never found at the bottom
just like Nessy
and what’s left is slowly turning to dust
rotten and fragile
nothing seems to get better
it’s all just temporary patchwork
just to keep it together for a little longer
and when it unravels
you loosely stitch it together
with unskilled fingers
staining the already thinly stretched fabric
and all I want is to fix things
but you can’t seem to let me bring it up
you just walk away
and call me a ***** well I’m sorry
for trying to fix things
I’m sorry I don’t want to lose this
I’m sorry I’m not what you want
you call me useless
but I’m just so used to keeping quiet that my
voice no longer seems to work
and I don’t know why you can’t see that
you’re the reason
I’m broken

This hunger plaguing my body is . . .
Terrifying
and all consuming.
Nothing
will satisfy this . . .
Starvation
no amount of food can quell this hunger.
Just thinking about meat
makes me want to throw up until
the very thought is
buried in the ***** on the floor beneath me.
Thinking about fruit,
my favorite green apples,
and I want to throw up until
the very thought is
buried in the ***** of thoughts on the floor beneath me.
Thinking about food in general,
even my favorites,
and still
all I want to do is
***** out the taste of such
Vile thoughts.
Even so I frantically search for food.
Nothing is appealing
still I take a bite of an apple.
Swallowing I grimace,
my belly grumbles,
and I feel sick.
No matter the things I scarf down
it comes right back around
soon after.
I miss ice cream and meat
yet at the thought
my mouth waters as my throat constricts
just waiting to retch up the contents of my stomach.
Even when there’s nothing left.
And yet all the while
my belly grumbles,
Starving for something.

Dear stupid useless emotions,
I hate you
with a burning passion.
Passion, why are you even around?
All you do is make me over sensitive on my worst days
quickly wearing on my thinly stretched mind.
Hate why do I rely on you so much?
I swear you are the one I turn to the most.
You surround me in a comforting blanket of fire.
I love and hate you.
Love, you do nothing but cause me pain and yet just like Hate
you make me feel warm.
Jealousy, you are the monster that lives in me.
I try to escape you, but you follow this hollow soul of mine
no matter where it runs to.
Lust, you aren’t even on my radar.
Sure you make me
infatuated with people
but the thing is I don’t really care who you like or want me to like,
it’s not happening.
Fear, I have a few words for you. Get the **** out.
I fear nothing.
Pride, what the hell are you doing?
You take over my mind seeping into my crevices
and I can’t truly get over you.
You turn me into one of the ****** bags I always despised.
Wrath, you seem to make up the very essence of my being and I hate it.
I hate you but you protect me like no one else can.
How do I live with you?
How do I live with the knowledge of your darkness?
Wrath and Pride,
you turn me into the monster I swore I’d never be.
You protect me and push everyone away before they can even
glimpse the real me.
Protecting my heart and all it’s secrets.
Protecting the me behind the mask.
Dear stupid useless emotions,
I need you the way I need air to breathe, to keep my heart beating,
to stay alive.
Just. One. More. Day