In the morning I can face my reflection
Though I know I may not be the prettiest
Your anger hurts, but I'd have no reply still
Even if I was the wittiest

little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
i won't blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won't blame you,
instead
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won't use it
yet.

I'll never be okay

I am
                             A dancer
                             A writer
                             An artist
                             A musician
A creator
                             But if you
                             Wanted
                             To see
What I create
                             A dance
                             A story
                             A painting
                             A song
I would
                             Refuse
                             Turn Red
                             Stall
                             and Deflect
Your attention
                             Because
                             I am
                            Afraid
                            My creations
Will let you
                            Judge me
                            Criticize me
                            Hate me
                            Mock me
They are
                            A piece of me
                            A thought
                            An emotion
                            A fleeting moment
And they are
                            Mine
So if I show you
                            I trust you
Please don’t betray my trust

Sometimes your heart needs to be broken
So you can see what's underneath,
To the flicker and flame of your soul
That you've always been destined to meet.

Sometimes your spirit shines brighter
Through the glimmering light of your tears,
And when you arrive at the end of it all
Love will outshine the darkest of years

God your beauty pains me so much
I just want to hold you
Wrap my arms around you and put my head on your chest
I want you to hug me tight and put your chin on the top of my head

I was afraid to put that next cigarette to my lips
For fear of washing away that lingering taste
It wasn’t the 7000 chemicals from the smoke
It wasn’t the 70 some cancer causing agents
It wasn’t the carbon monoxide, nicotine, tar, arsenic, ammonia, freon, cyanide, or the acetone
No it was you
It was the lingering taste of you
and your cherry red lips
It was the taste from where your lips pressed on mine
Completing my puzzle
That taste I’ve been chasing since the tenth month twenty first day of seventh grade
And if you add ten and twenty one you get thirty one
And if you flip that you get thirteen
Thats how old I was when I first kissed you
It had been a dare
And back then my ****** lips
Did not know about poison
My christian lips
Did not know how addicting you were
My collar bones were unexplored land discovered by your wondering hands
My chest was a new world after you
And now standing here
Standing still
Watching you walk away
I put the next cigarette to my lips
And try to chain smoke my way over you

Alright.
So you wanna know how to write
a poem.
Well, before we do anything else
I want you to take your pencil,
and break it against your desk.
You’re not gonna need it.
Go to your kitchen
grab a glass mixing bowl, and
pour as many prompts into that bowl
as you see fit.
Maybe crack open a rhyme or two,
cause trust me,
you’ve got time
to watch this poem come to life
inside your mind.
Next, add two cups
of melted controversy
cause hey, you gotta keep people talkin’
and talkin’ and talkin’
cause if you don’t, they’ll be walkin’ away
from that scoop of insane sifted
alliterations you were stocking up on.
Maybe to give it a little zest,
even if it doesn’t make sense
to anyone but you,
throw some “quotes” around
a song lyric or two,
cause you are in charge of this.
So, carry on my wayward son,
my angel with  shotgun,
mix it up
and let it bake on the tip of your tongue
and then
spit it out.