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Clair Jan 2019
I like it when you wear yellow
It makes it easy to see the
sun embracing your skin and
Allowing your melanin to drip gold,
From your head to your feet
Your steps leak rainbow
And paint canvases of different colors and shade
You make your way to shine
The corridors of your surroundings
As if God himself place his lamps
Unto your feet
You carry yourself higher than any standard
A bonafide version of simplicity
But this could never surpass your understanding
Your mirror became the boogeyman, you
Think if you look to much you’ll become what you see
You fail to realize how bent your shoulder
Looks from all the insecurities
that your Spine failed to carry
By any means
Still cracked that cocoon
And shine again
Bright as the moon
And you’ll fly
High as the bright yellow star

But try not to fall
Like a falling star
Try not to bend
Like a dropping rose
Try not to keep your head down
Like an army waving the white flag
Embrace the waves like the fish in the deep
And walk straight like your mama taught you
Maybe to me yellow shine on you the most
But, all the colors of the rainbow
Make your melanin drip gold
From your head to your toes
You wear the sun as your cape
You are modesty
Which is how
You shine the corridors of your surroundings
As if God himself place his lamp unto your feet
Clair Aug 2018
I get lost in my thoughts often.
It’s almost like riding the passenger’s side of my own car
It’s my life that i cant seem to care
For, the time that I’ve spent living on earth
robbed me of
The energy granted at birth,
Its all been wasted and drained,
from the pain that drives me sane
i cant seem to stretch and reach for the gear
i thought maybe changing the speed a little
Could make things simple.

But, the wind embracing my face
brings me to a different place,
the feel brings blurred memories
to focus, so i lay back and rewind

i get lost in my thoughts often.
i didnt realize how real my reflection looked in my shattered side view mirror
“oh my dear, what have you become”,
Is what i thought.

i get lost in my thoughts often.
and i didnt realize that i was at
the edge of it all
close to a fall,
A fall to what i thought would be the end
of endless laughter among us, temporary silence cracked by our smiles, and a recovered friendship that once slipped through our grip
As much as i get lost in my thoughts
I remember how selfless you were
To trade with me,
pain for energy
Sorrow for love,
You delayed your fixing to help me fix me

I get lost in my thoughts often.
It’s almost like riding the passenger’s side of my own car but it’s just for a while
It’s my life that i can’t seem to care for, but
the feel of your hands keeps me warm till the end of the ride.
Clair Apr 2018
Overthinking is like waking up in a labyrinth.
Its like mental war.
Its a sea where, you cant float on your own,
its getting lost in a foggy path
Overthinking made you a killer of your own mind.
You are now wanted.
Questions like when, how, and why ?
Becomes a rope around you neck.
Whats your escape plan?
Do you got one?
How many walls do you got to hit,
Till you meet a solution.
Maybe another position will perhaps
Give you a new perspective of life
You not a bartender
Don’t make martinis with all these lemons thrown at you
You’ll realize
The twisting part of it all is that the only way out, is to overthink.
Clair Jan 2018
I walk through the dark
To get to a shade of light
My shadow isn’t even present to comfort me in this lonely hour
I’ve known madness when I couldn’t carry my body to safety
Noon didn’t feel the same since it was always midnight
Searching for that shade of light
Was like walking a marathon with no finish line

How did I get to this point
Taking my mind to unfamiliar streets
To find an escape route
But doubt is still around
Doubt is still the cause
Pinning me, binding me, tying me to the enemy
Can’t even trust my finest thoughts since I am the enemy
Am I suicidal if the inner me is already dying?
From trying and searching and hurting

The light is no paradise
It is a beautiful pain, which presence is like a heartbeat; it comes and goes
I’ve walked through the light once
There’s not much of a difference
Except, in the light, I was surrounded by monsters I couldn’t see in the dark
I walk through the dark
To get to a shade of light
Leaving one hell behind just to cross over to another
Clair Jan 2018
You moan in pleasure as if i consent to it
You made me a prisoner
On a bed i once found comfort,
But now is a coffin buried six feet under
I thought being an adult wouldve given me the strength to fight back
I guess i was wrong
Your cold Tongue against my chest
Your cold hands aggressively held my wrist
I bet you can imagine the rest

Your body against mine
Your heart beating so fast
As if you knew you were doing me wrong
Created a cocoon of fear, pain and shame
You took from me a body that once was mine
A dignity that was in the buidling process
Time had stop
But i felt each movement in its slow motion pace
I bet you can imagine the rest

steps fading in darkness
You left me alone
My body felt cold
Here i am, laid there
Where pain and self blame remained
To loud music
The atmosphere felt dizzy
I couldn't see it coming
Was the chorus of the party
I felt the effects just a little to late
I laid in a bed I tried to regain myself
Till You moan in pleasure as if i consent to it
Toungue against my chest
Your hands aggressively holding my wrist
I bet you can imagine the rest

— The End —