Escaping were tears from her eyes.
Vicious were the hurting pains heard from her cries.
Endless echoes of deep and hallow voices.
Leaning towards the sun and againsts quiet noises.
Young was her son who never spoke a word and would probably speak none.
Not a day that passes that she has not missed her man.

People talking behind her while showing smiles infront of her face.
As if they were not fools when the truth is that they're more of a disgrace.
Gestures are weaved into words when her hands are in waves.
Uncomf'table with what the world thinks but her heart remains pure and unraged.
Implosive thoughts of anger that she can never let out and explode.
Residing in fears of doubtful taunts and still she remains dauntless and composed.
In days when the rain never stopped pouring.
God lits up a light without her even knowing.
A brightly blaze that is called the golden sun.
No more shedding of tears for those past and broken pieces are again mended into one.

I wish there were a system in my mind
that had filing cabinets and computers  holding all of my memories inside so I could just zip you away, but it doesn’t work that way.

Sometimes I think,
I should have stayed.
Til death do us part we vowed.
In sickness and in health.
Were there words about
not putting daggers in my soul, was there anything about not breaking me down until I forgot who I was?
Friday my therapist tells me, “remember who you are”.
I’ve spent the last four years remembering who you told me I was for twenty long years.
Too weak,
fat,
bad hair style,
wrong shoes,
bland cook,
messy in the kitchen
not good enough,
never good enough,
always wrong.
Who am I, I try to remember.
I try to reach deep inside and pull out the daggers one by one so my heart doesn’t bleed out.
I am strong.
I am capable.
I am desirable.
I am loved.
I am good enough.
**** it. I am all that and more.

And you? Nothing but a coward.
Even my leaving could not stop you from trying to destroy me.
But you didn’t count on me remembering who I am.
Did you?

Finding somewhere to bury my emotions on these Indian burial grounds
..
They've got me chained up to my neck and i asked for a way out and the devil said we should connect
..
Maybe its for the best to just leave out all the rest so when my friends come to drag me to hell Ill have no reason to resist ..