Even if I don’t acknowledge it,
It’s always there,
Waiting…
The need burns within,
My demons are screaming for me it
My mind is craving it.
The feel of a blade on my skin
The sting of cutting myself open,
The rush I feel when I see the ruby red blood
I NEED to feel all these things
Even if I don’t know I need it,
They keep telling me.
Cut.
They chant.
Spill your blood,
You deserve it for not being enough,
I’ve become addicted to the feeling
The feeling of something other than
Self-hated
Anger or
Sadness
I could finally feel somethings else,
Pain.
I could physically feel my demons dripping out of me
I could feel the relief of my emotions
I could feel free,
Even if it's just for a moment,
It helps
Cutting helps me accomplish this
I am always weighed down by my problems,
I’ve finally found a way to…
Just let go for a moment

I feel numb
People say they can help,
But they can’t
This feeling
I don’t know how to describe.
I hate
And I love it
It makes me feel free
It makes me feel nothing at all
I need a way to feel again.
I wonder how that can be done.
Cutting?
Burning?
Hitting?
Alcohol?
Drugs, maybe?
I just know that anyone of these would make me feel.
I need that
Even if I know that it’s wrong
I need to FEEL.
I need to feel my pain
My anger
My sorrow
My happiness
If i even have one.
I don’t care what I have to do to feel again.
I will do it.
People say that I shouldn’t do this.
I don’t care.

I need you to see the pain I am in
I need you to acknowledge the fears I have
I need you to help me
You don’t have to do anything drastic
I just need support
Or maybe comfort when I’m sad
You never do that for me
But then again,
I’m good at hiding any emotion
I just NEED you to see what you have caused
I am afraid to open up to you
You have always hurt me when I have done so
But I need you to not hurt me this time
I need you to see the pain that I carry
The fear I know
The hopelessness in my eyes
The self hatred I look at myself with
The depression I have fallen into
The little cracks I have in my soul
The fact I’m so close to falling apart
I just need you to see all the little things
And maybe piece it together.
If you do that simple thing
You would be helping me in ways no one ever could
If you could see any of these things,
I would be happy for once