Lets start start with the better half: I love you.
Like the songbirds love the trees that they rest in, and the trees love the winds that course under their arms, and the rocks love the shade that the trees dust across the forest floor, and the soft moss loves the cool rocks in the shade in the forest with the birds in the trees and the trees in the wind.

I love you like human error, like a sun-lit memory of an overcast day, like silent laughter and holding arms while we walk. Like a recipe that anyone else could follow, but always tastes the best when you make it.
I love you like a framed photograph, like bad art on the fridge, like buying a bottle of expensive wine even though I can't taste the difference.

I love you like starlight, an ineffable awe and inspiration, a thought for every galaxy in every cluster, that somehow we are the same, though lightyears away. All the stardust in the universe finds a way back to itself, and when we touch it feels like a scattered constellation from eons past reuniting.

And God, I miss you.

I miss you like the clouds miss the lakes they were pulled from, and the lakes miss the oceans they flowed from, and the oceans miss the shells that wash to shore, and the shells miss the ***** they once held inside.

I miss you like buried sediment misses the sunlight, or the flowers in the grocery store miss the bees and the meadow. Like a lost button misses the jacket it fell from, or the birthday kid misses the cake after it's eaten.

I miss you like the camellia misses the moon as it waits for it to rise, I miss you like winter misses green leaves and grass, like a friend of ours misses november.
You are the wool in my sweater, and when you leave I am pulled apart. And I never notice how cold it is without you until you are gone.

And when I see you again the rains will pour from the heavens and I will shower you in all the adoration I can pull from myself, I will pray you feel the waves crashing in to tide, rising to take back it's sands, the storm will flood the lakes so the land becomes the sea. Spring will unfurl in eruption as each bud blooms and soft grass sways with the wildflowers in the wind at our feet. And earth will tremble and split open, and sun will shine upon layers of earth turned to marvellous canyons. And my arms will be back in yours. And the pieces will fit together as they always should have.

I love you, and I miss you, and I want to wrench those phrases apart so that they don't have to stand next to eachother anymore, so that I just love you.

Lightning striking through a nervous system,
Blood pumping facetious fire.
Whispers through my home, hauntings of trauma and dreams of the crucifix stand.
The flaming star of the avatar.
The predator and the prey, predetermined and praying.
Just another eternity until the monsoon departs, the season ended. From there the calm waves will carry me to shore.
The dark, restful, kiln, I am your dough, as I am your clay, a grateful panettone.
Mold me, endow me the drug, the decree, the great recipe of relinquishment.
I rejected asylum, I denounced Gehenna,
Cold blooded sunbathing in the radiant rays of the great bird's wings.
The boiling embrace of his soft feathered fire.
The brutal, unrelenting, chaotic, climactic, pull into the hot murky depths.
Scald me, lash me, revive me in death.
For I can wait no longer.
Living in fear of the Reaper is worse than The Harvest itself.
So come unto me my lord, my peace,
And engulf me in the ******* rest.