Motherhood

I barely get any sleep
I forget to take showers and never really eat
My hair is never combed
And there is baby throw up all over me...
My feet are bruised
From the toys on the floor
I never keep up with the dishes anymore
My eyes are posed with circles underneath
And the pile of ***** clothes are starting to reek
I never get a hot shower
And all of my snacks disappear
And my daughter is ALWAYS yelling "I need clean underwear!"

Between the scrapes and cuts (and all the mommy mess ups)
I'm a superhero tornado
With three little chest nuts
Ready to grow

I would hate to say I told you so
But it's about time to see
All these years of working it out
And you still end up loosing me

I would hate to say I told you so
But all of your slashes left a mark
And it runs deep inside
So deep, it scarred my heart

I would hate to say I told you so
But you left me no other choice
You refuse to see, to change, to grow
And I am ready to silence the noise

I would hate to say I told you so
But I tried talking before
I tried negotiating our differences
And I don't want to try anymore

I would hate to say I told you so
People always change
I would hate to say I told you so
But I will anyways

I am running late
Both kids in the back
It's high traffic
And the roads are packed
Sixty is the speed limit
I am almost at 65
Reflections of passing cars
And their bright headlights
I am trying to pay attention
But the noise is too much
I am VERY late
And he is going to get *******
Just passed the intersection
Not too far to go
I noticed a car up ahead, on the right
It was going slow
I didn't think much of it
He was in a parking lot
And as I sped towards his exit
My common sense expected him to stop
However, he did just the opposite
And he sped up
The noise was horrible
I squeezed my eyes shut
I have never been so scared
That I almost gave up
A 17 year old boy
It was a hit and run
He left and he didn't give a ****
Not even one
I now have two metal vertabraes
On the top right of my spine
The two under those are infused
Now the scar on my throat is mine
My kids were Okay (Thank You!)
No scratch. No bruise
I will never forget that feeling
Of how it could be YOUR life to lose

My son
My first born child
How quickly you grew to be
So independent
So eager
So hilariously funny
Almost 11yrs now
You never fail to succeed
Emotions overtake you
But sometimes, it's what we need

My son
My first born child
Keep growing
Keep learning
Keep your soul wild

You sit there
All alone
With your head hung in dispair
The memories
Fade into stories
That you rarely tell
The pain is so visible
As you try to ignore
The loss of your Father
And the heartache you endure