A word...
We ask ourselves...
So many times...
There are so many what if’s...
That we would like change...
What if we said “No”
What if  we said “Yes”
But alas we are supposed to walk through all these what if’s...
Some became our regrets...
Some become our happiness...
May it’s our fate...
May be destiny...
May be that’s what made what we are...

—Joanna Adam

Writing a new book...
With new characters...
And new story line...
I have been fooling myself...
Holding on to an older book...
With past characters...
Which have already wrote new chapters...
Without me...
May be it’s time for me be part of a new book...
And not the rusty old book...
Even though the rusty old book was once my life...
Let you be reference for my new one...
Not my griefs or broken promises...

— Joanna Adam

Don’t we all have mask...
That we have perfected over the years...
As it become second skin...
Unable to remove it...
And without it, feeling vulnerable...

My smile is what i masked first...
As she told me not to smile too much...
May be that’s why I started to find reasons not to smile....
And that’s the time I realised...
How I was betrayed....
And that got me reasons...
Not to smile...
And one day I stopped smiling....
And she was worried I m not myself anymore....
So I perfected a small smile....
To satisfy her....
And now I wear a mask for everyone...
As they needed...

May be one day I can remove it...
And get to breathe the happiness of freedom...

— Jonna Adam

Do you know I don’t remember  you....
I didn’t even keep your photo...
Nothing is left with me to remember you...
I don’t remember your birthday day...
I don’t remember the way you smiled...
I don’t remember your favourite colour...
I don’t remember your favourite song...
I don’t remember the girl you loved...
The one you always talked about...
I don’t remember our whispers in late nights...
I don’t remember your hugs...
I don’t remember the day you left us...
As I made myself to forget everything about you...
I came to your house to console you as I didn’t know who left us...
To know it was you...
I wished I could follow you...
I wished I could cry...
The unfinished talks...
The unfinished letters...
You were the one I hold on to when I was low...
I dreamed of us growing up...
You marrying your loved one...
And me living alone...
And here I m all grown up...
And you are not here to see that...
— Jonna Adam

I can feel and see you fading away...
Fading away from me...
I thought of holding you...
As I always have...
But I saw you not holding me back...
So I m letting you go...
Without any fight....
May be because I too want to fade away from you...
As I felt being caged by you...


— Jonna Adam

It’s my promise to myself...
That I won’t let you hurt me....
Your silence or shouting will never hold me back...
If you thought my silence is my defeat..
You thought it wrong...
You broke me once...
More than my molesters have...
They broke my happiness and smile...
But never my self esteem...
But you broke that...
Only bcoz I let my guard down...
And trusted you to love me...
But the day you broken that...
I promised myself...
I won’t let you win...
I didn’t fight back not bcoz I can’t...
Because you are not worth it...
You became someone I just met in between the journey of life....

—Jonna Adam

It felt so casual…
To discuss something big…
With a hash tag “Me too”…
Are they ready to share…
Can it really be casual…
Like saying hi to all…
May be…
As time heals everything…
To the ones passed through it…
It’s their part of life…
Which took years to acknowledge themselves…
It was their pain…
Their self hatred..
Their regression…
Their unknown…
Yet they continued as if they are not affected…
Is it coming out…
or hiding behind it…
Still there are so many #me too
Afraid to be out…
Not because they don’t want to…
But because of their entanglements…
The things that happened…
Made a stroll on their life…
Which is not easily forgotten…
They never had a choice…
But the same people which supported them say
All have a choice….
Did we really???
You should have shouted they say…
And then what…
And what if we don’t know it is some thing you should shouted at..
It keeps on going…
#me too’s forgive yourself first...
It’s painful… yet it happened…
May be its time we acknowledge it…
As I m saying #me too