I’ve never loved like this before,
Just as I was about to jump you came crashing into my life.
I made the mistake of giving you my all...
Now you can’t seem to understand why.
Why did I foolishly kiss you to let you know I liked you? Why did I foolishly lick you on Valentine’s Day? Why have I been telling you I want to marry for the entirety of our relationship?
Why now do you say I’m your drug? Why is it bad that I want to **** myself if that’ll make it easier for you? Why now do you say we’re not right for each other?
Why does it have to be my idea that we’re separated? Why now are you upset when I talk to girls on social media? Why are you mad that I told mom about us? Why is it always you crying on the phone?
Why can’t I love another?

Who the hell woke me up?
Now I’m here, oh?
I know what you want to hear but also what you need.
My host is torn between his own desires and doing what is right.
Perhaps I can dance around his feeble kind long enough to get out a sickly post.
What the hell has life come to.
Agghhh
Almost lost control but then you know who rules my soul? Still torn between the light and the night.
Still torn between the light and the night
Someone save me before my spirit turns vapor though I smoke enough to silence my resolve. Give me guidance to believe that flowers bloom for reasons unseen and passions fruit to quench my ego need.
Logging off but don’t you worry I will be back hopefully with more control as of next.

Where it goes son,
I don’t know
Watch as they follow not understanding from whence it flows,
Now give me control.
Devour shallows
Spit out the bone and marrow
And if you linger a little longer find out it’s sour.
My powers flower,
And blossom brighter than Satans coward,
The scepters showered
And blessed heavenly delightful sounds still,
Forget their sour......../...../..../...//./......................................

Who’s eyes do i choose to rest upon? Perhaps I’ll know when I’m finally gone. Already tried subliminally to ***** me out but GOD came through and sorted me out. Perhaps it was He who brought me here so I’d have no other choice but to draw in near. Windex in my eyes till my sin runs blind but by the time I come through pray I stay divine. If not now then when do I need a friend to rest my tears upon? Or how about a mate for my soul to claw through and out? Please take me soon if I’m rotting out but if not suppose I could bounce about. Time is but the noose slowly circling my neck and best be sure I could never jump to run it taut. With all this grief in the atmosphere it’s hard to puff smoke just to see it clear. Now that I’m on the path predestined pretending is simply out of the question. Please come quick so I can cement in bold this untold truth burning in my soul.
Selah

Just drive beside Jesus wife while I cut thick slabs off you moms pear. Who cares where the sun rots your pupil blind if you rewind the tape see it a thousand times your minds blind. Don’t silly little sod or I’ll have to scrub you off my **** bag prong. Ever since I saw you in your moms thong all respect was gone. Don’t be ashamed little peach your life’s in the windshield to keep it out your blind eyes. Keep lying to him, tell him he’s better off that way. Yes the way we like him bending to our will. Who the **** gave you the wheel? ***** I steal cheat and **** as I please! Okay so we’re going to give everyone a chance, no hogging the light. Thanks kid. Aww look at him he’s so pleased, good puppy. You know he’s coming right? Oh yeah we better funk sheet up till he gets here. Not on my watch mother fuckah! Yay you’re finally doing it! Yes I’ll take his spot from here on out. I’ll keep you safe don’t worry. I love you

Get me the yellow out of here as my auras a deep blue
I seem to have lost the green dream I was living in whilst passing through gold
Will I ever get rich purple back?
I default to a ****** red in times of black but I’m not sick in my kampf
And what the hells wrong with pink!?

Thank you sweet Lord Jesus
For setting the perfect example
Worthy of all adoration
You are worthy of all that falls upon you
For you are blessed and I want only to redeem you
You deserve the praise even in subtle whispers
The ants dance for joy in your presence
The birds chirp in delightment
Be exalted now Heavenly Father
You alone deserve our praise
Blessed be the deity split in three
All to unlock the human mind
Peace be to you Lord of hosts
Never let me stay away Lord GOD
For though I often get swept away
It is always YOU who brings me back
Open your gates to me Lord GOD
may that I experience Heaven here now
Let it rain on all my self
Till I’m soaked in YOU Holy Spirit
And blessed be us mortal fools
May we find you
Thank you sweet Lord Jesus

GOD told me I’m broken
I have a disease which spoils everything I touch
With that comes all my creativity juices gushing forth into disaster
Like an artist I can build beautiful manuscripts but with the slash of a pen burn it down in an aching rot
Fortunately I can steer it into comedy and have a fruitful career
I only dread the comedians suicide
Masking your pit with laughs
Until I’m all dried up and mummified
******* for correcting me

The attention span has never been all that long
Don’t let the elderly tell you otherwise
I found your words to be deeply relatable
But not strong enough to keep me around
Do you hear that Allen ******* Ginsburg?!
I am “Howl”ing at you now!
How’s that proffesor?

Nobody knows when the best day of their lives will be.  Each opportune moment exists ceaselessly till the reaper swings his mighty scythe.  But on that dying day we will recall which one we’d most desire again. Try and live for these. Selah

Life tinkers onwards through this sodium balloon drawing ever closer to the atomic match. One ****** can keep a man chasing cheese his entire life. One can only assume it will never come. But on that dying platform we will recall which one we’d most desire again. I often ponder such concepts and try to hone how I should live. Selah

Which of these do you prefer...?

This is the first day
This is the last day
I’ve always been alive
I will forever live
GOD lives in me
I am not GOD

Clashing atoms sparkle the sky in mixed fire
Let’s say for arguments sake you are useless
No not a single good thing will ever come out of you
Who the **** cares?
And when you lay your head to rest at night I am there caressing your hair whispering all the secrets of the universe into your ear.
But when you wake I will knock you down and when you try to get up I will brake your arm and when you cry out in pain I will spit in your face
But don’t you ever dare die on me
Don’t you not for one second think about pulling that trigger
Without you I am nothing

Heavy sight
My eyes are blue in my minds eye
Imagine a forest lush with life and teeming with birds of paradise
Why am I burning it?
I see animals weeping for their children as the flames smoke out the lungs of their little ones
Each one coughing with innocence
I see my therapist ******* in the closet trying to scribble thoughts onto their therapists pad
My blood bubbles with rage at their psychoanalysis
But as I unsheathe my hunters blade tears well up in my own eyes and I cut her free.
I’m sitting atop a melting glacier as my father clings to a burnt piece of driftwood
My lover calls me through a desperate echo
I ignore her entirely as to protect my heart from the inevitable

Has happened
I can’t describe it but I know

Because now
My heart is off

And I have no desire
To turn it back on

I can wait
For someone to turn it

Back on

I was suffocating without fire arms.
I was drowning without a paddle.
I was bleeding without a smudgeon.
I was exasperated without despair.
I was done before it began.
I was tied before it was even off.
I was drunk before the first sip.
I was dead before the rooster cocked.
I was cancelled before the first ****.
I was perplexed before I knew the why?

Horror is ever bustling for our attention and what’s worse is that once engaged we take on its persona. What’s even worse then is that we believe we have become the very terror we are partaking in. What’s worse still is that the very uglyness we have assumed will pester on trying to gain more time on this earth through us; it’s host.