I should have known better than to rest on a stereo-type,
my eagerly awaited Latin lover tore into the night!
I didn't like the head stand he performed on my rib cage,
Nor the slurping grunts as he ****** his ****, as if he were onstage.

He flipped me like a burger and rasped me with his hands,
I closed my eyes, counted to ten, and remembered some good bands!
He said ''you like it baby?'' as he shimmied up the sheet,
I cowered in anticipation as he manoeuvred his great big feet.

Ladies, be careful what you wish for, it might one day come true.
Steer clear of stereo typing you could end up black and blue.
I'll just warn you, in a friendly way,  his name was  Henriques Stud,
Next time it's Roger Rabbit and not my Latin dud!

I don't want to sound pretentious,
I don't want to be a bore.
But my car is a Lamborghini
And yours is just a Ford

My home is my castle,
Seven bedrooms to explore.
I have a maid in the scullery,
And marble on the floor.

I dress in top designer chic,
My jewellery's in the vault,
I have a gun beneath my pillow,
It's really not my fault.

There's floodlights in the garden
And security alarm fired up,
I see a psychologist weekly
To ensure my brains not stuck

I want to build a pyramid,
So when my time has come,
I can take the whole lot with me
So I won't  be worrisome!