His voice was quivering,
Emotion bubbling in his lungs,
It burst through his lips
And slipped on his tongue.
The melody traveled miles
Just to settle on my ears,
The motivation lay hidden
But the message was clear.
"Far away," he whispered
"So far from home."
My heartbeat echoed
As he sang of being alone.
The songs played on my heartstrings,
Each chord and every line,
From his lips came a song of love,
A love that could be mine.
His song drifted off with perfect pitch,
And he whispered so sincere,
"So far away from home," he said
"You're so far away from me, my Dear."

I think I’m falling
With no parachute,
The wind is cutting me
Busting me in two.
When I hit solid ground
I’ll break to pieces,
Guts bursting, heart showing
Everything it releases.
I believe I’ll be fine
With falling so far,
Especially if falling
Takes me to where you are.

Your facade is slipping,
You’re smiling underneath.
Shark tooth grin spilling lies,
Between your crooked teeth.

For you I fell,
Passed my fate to the hands
Down a well.
I shed my skin,
Bared my muscles
Bone and tendon.
My affection a pit,
A place for you to ****
Spread your grit.
For you I had leapt
Straight from the safety of home
Took my last breath.
For me you pushed,
A little shove and turned
As I mushed.

You are the flower,
I am the soil.
From seed to blossom
I raise you.

You are the masterpiece,
I am the artist.
From paint and canvas
I create you.

You are the poem,
I am the poet.
From thought to words
I write you.

You are the thought,
I am the thinker.
From moment to moment
I ponder you.

You are my world,
And I am yours.
From birth to death
I will love you.

My days are numbered,
My life encumbered.
So I'll give myself more,
From the bottom of my very core.

I’m certain you know how it feels to watch her die.
I’m sure you remember asking God why.
I’m positive you held a hand that grew cold.
I know you cried that she would never grow old.
I’m assured you dreamt of her smiling embrace.
I believe that you miss seeing her lovely face.

I’m certain you scream when no one will hear.
I’m sure you distance yourself from what’s dear.
I’m positive you hate letting others close.
I know you’re scared of being abandoned most.
I’m assured you can’t look at complete families the same.
I believe that you can’t even bear to say her name.

I’m certain you’re haunted by her last smile.
I’m sure you thought it would last quite awhile.
I’m positive you tried to blame the nurse.
I know you are aware the disease was a curse.
I’m assured that you know she’s better off now.
I believe that you will recover someday, somehow.

He loved her like the wind,
She was his gravity
To her earth he was pinned.

He loved her like the sea,
She was everything
More than he could ever be.

He loved her like the moon,
She was fading
He would lose her too soon.

He loved her like a rose,
Her petals wilting
Cold on the end of her nose.

He loved her so much,
She grew numb
Couldn't feel his gentle touch.

He loved her more than she would see,
She was his life, his heart, his only,
She was his Mindy.

I can feel you like an itch
Sitting beneath the skin.
I scratch and I scratch
Never quite satisfying.

Your smile, your lips parting,
That glint in your eyes
The way you look without looking,
Has me scratching again.

Patching us together lightly,
We've become so fragile.
Ripped apart by the slightest breeze,
We're fighting the wind.
Hope is the only thread left
Holding us together.

I don't see you anymore.
My worst fears came true.
Your night shifts, my days,
I don't know what to do.

You are my everything,
That's why I'm so afraid.
You'll find someone better,
I'll wonder why I stayed.

I've cracked my head against your walls,
Screamed into your silent void,
Stepped right into your fire,
For far too long now.

But then again,
I should have worn shoes around fire
I should have exited the void while I could.
I never should have hit my head on your walls

Daggers on your breath,
You've stabbed me to death.
Injecting poison from your lungs
That danced on your tongue.

No mercy finds me here,
Cowering in secret fear
Of you who were once kind,
But you've left that far behind.

No one said it would be easy,
But no one said it would be this hard,
To not hear your voice or see your face,
To not feel the beating of your heart.
Everything about me is a haunting reminder
Of you and everything you’ll never be,
My eyes, my smile, my hair, my laugh
All screaming that you’re not here with me.
I know how selfish I must seem
Wishing that God hadn’t called you home so soon,
But how am I supposed to grow up right
Asking all my questions to an empty room?
Seven years have passed so quickly
And I can remember the final moments so clearly,
I wish I could have shown you more
That I loved you so dearly.
No one said it would be so hard
That I would regret all I hadn’t given
I should have savored every moment more
Before you left me for heaven.

Our time is up and we're packing it away,
The life we built, the life we shared
Stowed in boxes by the end of today.

I know I'll still see you, but it's not the same,
Your arms won't be around me anymore,
Your kisses can't dull this kind of pain.

This ring says together while miles say apart,
How can we live separately even now
When you're so close to my heart.

It's only a year you say, only a small time,
But it feels so much like forever to me,
Forever til you'll again be mine.

Our boxes in the same city, our hearts too,
Our life to be severed by ownership,
But I don't want any of this, I want you.

I've burned all my bridges,
Lit a match and nursed flames.
Now I'll rise from the ashes,
Make myself a brand new name.
I'm not who I used to be,
None of you knew me anyway.
So without any obstacles
I'll stand taller than ever today.
Sure I'll miss these bridges,
They held such potential.
But they were breaking,
Some condemned by the crumble.
This desolation will be my start,
My chance to move ahead.
Burning bridges for the better,
My past is better off dead.

I look at you,
Little fingers,
Little toes.
You've got life,
My eyes,
My nose.
You have a future,
Bright days,
All sunshine.
You have family,
Just me,
That's fine.

I'm still here for you.
Though I seem so far away,
Think of you every day.

My hands are shaking,
Heart is racing,
Butterflies in my chest.
My knees are quaking,
Feet are pacing,
Speech not at it’s best.

My mouth is drying,
Ears ringing,
Too much energy in reserves.
I’m really trying
Soul singing,
I’m just a bundle of nerves.

The dark unveils in this new place,
A different scene; always the same face.
Creeping from underneath the door
It drags itself across my floor.
Seething, teething, mewling mass,
It raises up and cracks the glass.
The sun reaches out relieving grace
Out onto its cold, familiar face.

Nights like these
I lie awake.
The thoughts breaking in
More than I can take.
Who have I become?
Have I changed?
The mirror is someone new
Someone deranged.
I've lost all the friends I had,
Pushed away by fear.
Now I'm all alone in the dark,
All alone down here.
Nights like these
I can't sleep.
Haunted by the nightmares
Of demons I keep.
The shadows dance
Ghosts on the wall.
I am taken by them,
Lost in it all.
Nights like these
I wish for an easy end.
A noose around the neck,
An awkward bend.
But I'll tell myself
Life is not an ease.
I'll stay brave
On nights like these.

Thoughts bursting.
Smoothing out.
Leaving slowly.
A whisper now.
Fading away.
Nothing remains.
A barren land
Inside my brain.

Butterflies fluttering,
Cheeks reddening,
Heartbeat slowing
And heartbeat increasing.

Happiness spreading,
Feelings conflicting,
Part of me wanting staying,
Every part of me ready to be leaving.

I play this over and over in my mind,
Your songs, your calls, the love.
You left me behind.
We exchanged such beautiful words,
Meaningless strings of whispers,
It's so absurd.
You were my light, my friend, my muse,
And you left me so empty
Left me so used.
Even so, I fondly remember your song,
All the nights you felt so right,
I was so wrong.

I can't bear this tearing, this pulling.
It's ripping me to pieces
As I stand helpless.
My mind is open in all directions,
But where do I go from here?
Where's my solace?

I thought once I held it in my hands,
Held on as tight as I could
Willed it to stay.
But just as it always has, it broke to pieces.
Ripping me wide open,
Tearing me away.

I stuck it back together with lies and tried
To keep it with me one more time,
One more day of peace.
It's cracking under the pressure of my fingers,
Threatening to snap once again.
Break me in its release.

My heart is elated
Just from a few hours
Spent stroking your hair,
Your head in my lap.

I honestly cant say
What I'm doing anymore.
You say that you will
Love me forever.
He says that he will
Always be there.
I'm torn to pieces over
And over and over.
If I leave will I just
Wish I stayed?
If I really just stay will I
Wish I had left?
I'm left here feeling like
Maybe I could escape.
Maybe I could take a few pills
And end this here.
Or I could hang in the air
To not feels like this.
Why can't life just
Be easy to understand?
Why cant life just
Leave me alone?

My fingers are ****** from clawing away
At this tomb that you built, my own grave.
You buried me in my own hatred, self doubt
And now I'm killing myself trying to get out.
"*****, ugly, worthless, nothing." You said
As you bashed me until I was all but dead.
Then you kicked me hard down into this hole,
And I mourned all the self worth that you stole.
But I'm almost to the surface now, so close,
What's left of me now more resembles a ghost.
I've come this far and I'm not giving in,
I'll regain what you tore from me with a ******* grin.

I miss the days that have passed,
Ones with so much potential,
Days full of happiness and grace.
I miss the people I have lost,
The poetic fluffy haired friend,
The long distance soft singer.
I miss not feeling so alone,
Counting days of the past,
Wishing they'd come back.

You sang for me when we were in love,
Or so I believed you were capable of.
Now your song is no more than ghost,
It feeds off of me still; a reluctant host.
As you faded away it held me still,
Whirling me around til I became ill.
And now that I've moved on it protects,
It holds tight to me and all of my regrets.
Your song whispers to me on the occasion,
It bleeds into my head at night, a beautiful lesion.
Back when your mouth yielded such love
You took pieces of my heart, donning the surgeons glove.
I believed that like your song you were true,
Now I know that this parasite is what was always you.
Just a pretty song played out through a phone,
When I was desperate, sad and so alone.
Though your melody hurts like an imaginary bruise,
You are no longer my love or my muse.

I have so much to say,
But my words are running away.
Chased by the fog cast over my brain,
Love just loves to play this game.
My contentment will be my downfall,
But what is love with out contentment, after all?

Dead,
Bubbling
Under the skin.

Scars,
Broken lines
Boiling within.

Fear,
Gasping
Dying today.

Dark
Bravery
Coming out to play.

Hush,
Silenced,
All put to bed.

The scars,
Bravery,
They are all dead.

I pretended to sleep,
Not wanting to leave.

You fell for my ploy,
I thought you'd retreat.

You had things to do,
We were no longer talking.

But you stayed on the line
Only occasionally laughing.

Why would you stay?
I'm trying to understand.

Did you listen as I sighed,
Was this your plan?

Maybe you were waiting,
Wanting me to speak.

Maybe it was comfort,
Listening to me "sleep".

When you finally hit end,
I was left with this doubt.

I'm over-thinking this,
You just forgot to sign out.

Human contact,
That's what I need,
Skin on mine,
Knocking knees.

I watch as you sleep,
Your soft breaths singing
A melody of dreams.
The sunlight hits your face,
Illuminating your skin
Silk on my fingertips.
You smile for a moment,
Soon you'll wake
Breaking the spell.
When I watch you sleep,
Life is perfect
Simple.
I can admire what is mine,
(At least for the moment)
Forever.

Red tights,
Flowing cape,
The city is calling,
It's not too late.

Spandex briefs,
Form fitting suit,
Humans are appalling,
****, ****, Loot.

Well defined muscles,
Girly boots,
The Joker and Penguin
Are in cahoots.

Carefully coiffed hair,
Gigantic chin,
Perched about the town,
Waiting for crime to begin.

Invisible car,
Cool technical gadgets,
Oh! He got away!
Curses! Almost had him.

A steel man,
The speeding bullet,
My weakness is this string...
Please don't pull it....

Can’t breathe.
The walls are closing in.
The clock is mocking.
Time is stopping.
My lungs collapse.

September,
****** September,
Do you remember,
Oh do you remember?
How she did surrender,
Her soul so tender.
September you monster,
****** monster.
Oh how you tossed her,
How I lost her.
September,
****** September.
Do you remember?
Oh do you remember.

Your smile brings back memories.
Times were simpler back then,
No ties to keep us down,
No age to make us wise.

I loved the way you forgot to care.
My heart wasn't yours to take,
You took it so gently,
Kept it in a cage.

Now here we are only years later.
My heart never left your cage,
I have ties keeping me down,
My age made me wise.

But here you are still so blissfully free.
My ties burning me so painfully,
I want to just run my fingers
Through your hair.

All my ships have sailed,
Now the tides are rising
And I have no life vest.

There's a charge between me and you,
Something lingering in the spaces
Between our words, our bodies.

I lure you into conversation
To find your smile,
Illumination.

Can you find time for this soul,
To smile with me,
Make me whole?

If you're lonely I'll be a friend,
I'll fight for you
Til the bitter end.

You came for me at night,
Sharp teeth bared and glaring,
Dripping poison and snarling,
Eyes bloodshot and protruding.
You took me apart that night,
Soft flesh crumpled and bleeding,
Gaping wounds and bones cracking,
Screams growing faint and wheezing.
You became a monster that night,
Shredding my confidence and laughing,
Pushing hatred upon me and smiling,
Reaching out beyond the mirror and winning.

Outcast and rejected,
Your heart carved in stone.
Your words an infection,
Spilling poison on the bone.
Your lips play a melody of malice,
Your smile is like a grave.
The smell of death on your breath,
Like a stinking wave.

You
Sick
Sick
Sick,

You
Sick
Sick
Sick,

You
Sick
Man.

F­ingers like razors,
Extended from bloodied hands.
Your laughter stinks of cruel intent,
Spattering on the sand.
Your body is a temple,
Singing songs of premeditated ******.
Your tongue is weapon
Of deceit disguised as valor.

You
Sick
Sick
Sick.

You
Sick
Man.

Don’t slip so far
You let your mask fall,
Under it all
You’re sick
You’re ugly.

Here I am again on my knees,
Like the little girl I once was
Begging, "Please..."

I lift my heart and my hands,
Place my doubts before you,
My demands.

"God please hear my cries,
The anguish of my heart,
My sighs."

The adult in me is scoffing, mild,
While the small part of me believes
Like a child.

I've drawn my line in the sand,
I know this isn't what you had planned.
Such distance between us two,
I'm trying to crawl away from you.
You left me beaten, battered, bruised,
Never in my life had I been so used.
"No" was never in your vocabulary,
If it was, you had it long since buried.
As your hands fought against my pleas,
Pushing me to crash down on my knees.
Your ears were wide open, wide shut,
Your eyes a cruel gaze twisting my gut.
You never heard a word I had said,
You left my heart cold, sick, and dead.
I'm left numb from the feelings you severed,
I'll be left holding this shattered psyche forever.
But I'll begin to put myself together again,
Slowly, I'll find myself a way to mend.
If it takes an eternity, that will have to do,
As long as these lines keep me far away from you.

My perception was clouded,
Muddy and clueless.
I thought you were jaded,
Foggy and foolish.

I've been shown your side of life,
Deep and poetic.
Something I dissected under a knife,
Stupid and hectic.

You cleared my perception,
Crystal, I can now see.
You're more than just an unread story,
At least to me.

Your fear was a beast,
It consumed you whole as you stood.
Tearing out from your chest
It ejected words like bile.
"This is the end of us,
Feel the pulse of death,
Maggots wriggle for your soul,
This... is.... the end!"
Sickly sweet it stuck to my face,
Sour and rancid and terrible.
Your fear poured out from inside
A gaping hole that spilled red.
Your fear was a beast,
That consumed you whole as I watched.