I mumble the words I want them to hear
Yet don’t
I wrap my hands over my chest in attempt to protect it
From what I don’t know
I say okay but I don’t want to
Nothing was ever simple
I found myself in the corner cowering
I realize ive been there for too long
I look up at the sky and I get overwhelmed at how big the world really was
And I understand why I confine myself
In the safety of my dark room
Because I could never fail if I don’t try
No one loves the sad girl
So im not sad will you love me
If I reach out my hand I could almost feel you yet I know you’re way too far
I don’t really believe them when they say im pretty
Because I know every stretch mark, acne scar, rash, dark spor there is on my body
And as much as I try to romanticize my flaws I hate them
And I feel ugly
I hate my birthday
I hate growing old because im scared of being alone forever
Being sad forever
And not sad that I cry alot
But sad that I occasionally cry but most of the time im just laying in bed staring at the ceiling feeling completely empty
I love you but
I like you but
You’re amazing but
You’re funny but
You’re nice but
You’re pretty but
You’re not her
Just as a friend
She’s so much better
It gets old
You can be such a *****
You’re fat
I feel so sad today