You're perfect for me, but I'm not perfect for you -

time to face reality, I know that much is true;

Even though it hurts, like a chemical burn on bare skin:

10-molar hydrogen peroxide in comparison seems like a pin.

I promised I'd stop talking about you - I'm driving my friends insane;

so now I'm left alone, silent in my pain.

You make me want to be better, to reach for the stars,

igniting dreams I gave up on, healing old scars.

Nobody else is enough, whatever they do,

why can't I love another, instead of you?

I have no shortage of suitors - why can't I quit

this useless addiction, destroying me bit by bit?

I could be happy, if only I weren't stuck

on what I can't have, what's beyond my luck.

I need to travel, to get away far,

to another galaxy, find a new star.

Unfinished - my thread of thought breaks -

I'll forget about you - whatever it takes.

It's these days that **** me - the good ones:

when we get along and you laugh at my puns.

When it seems like we could work, and our interests align,

am I projecting or did you just give me a sign?

When you lean in to whisper an inside joke,

do you know how many feelings you just awoke?

I had them sedated by distance and time,

now once again I need you to be mine.

.

I tease you lightly and you crack a smile,

and my gaze lingers on yours for a while.

Whenever we talk, I tend to find

little similarities that seem bind us

- has it ever crossed your mind? -

the tiny barriers we leave behind.

I want to know even more,

to open every closed door.

The mysteries in your core,

all the details that I adore.

I want your secrets, whatever they are,

every dream, hope, and every scar.

Trust me, let me be who you need,

I'll be there even when you hurt and bleed.

Let flowers blossom from the seeds

of trust and care, above the weeds.

.

What's the matter, love? (The last word I don't speak)

You say it's just life, and no further I seek;

I won't ask more, lest I push you away,

when you're ready, I know you'll say.

I'll wait however long it takes,

I'll stop when you want to push the brakes.

For time is truly all I've got,

time, and this Fire, burning hot.

Fire, that could melt the ***,

all that is, and all that's not.

One day you'll see that that's a lot,

this red string in an eternal knot.

.

These silver cobwebs cannot rust,

the dewdrops on them sparkle just

in spite of all the charcoal dust,

and one day, I will earn your trust.

Metal music, vintage sound

feel the beat pulse all around;

Louder! Drown out my heartbeats,

drown out this fire that burns and overheats.

Play louder than my heart, perhaps I'll forget,

that it tears me apart, this unresolved bet.

Schrödinger's cat of blissful ignorance,

a stalemate, a draw, merciful ambivalence.

We could be a pair, like tequila and salt,

I'll just keep dreaming, 'til I wake with a jolt.

Smoke in my lungs, my hair in my face,

I'm lulled into numbness, in the music's embrace.

Sensory overload of lights and sound,

In a club's chaos, clarity I found:

Things will work out, in whatever way,

and even if they don't, I'll be okay.

Whatever happens, I know I can handle,

for I am a forest fire, not just a candle.

'S' is for Sorrow, 'S' is for Sadness,

today and tomorrow, driving me into madness.

'S' is for the Sweet Sound of your voice,

for the Seduction that gives me no choice.

'S' is for the Smiles you flash without thinking,

as I feel my heart inevitably Sinking.

The fresh Start I thought I could have

if I Stayed away, but I wasn't so brave.

'S' is for the Song my heartbeat sings,

so close, but not mine, and that Stings.

The Simmering feelings that just won't fade,

the truth behind my everyday facade.

'S' is for Silence, that cuts me deep,

alone, without you, and I can't sleep.

'S' is for Sunlight incarnate,

bound by a red String of fate;

a hunger only you can Sate,

my weakness, which I hate;

my Sanity - for that's too late,

this love has become innate.

So close, too close, and yet not close enough -

Cupid has bound me to you with a silver cuff;

not that I mind, but I'm in too deep,

thinking about you, and I can't sleep.


Did you feel it too? - how my heart jumped,

I thought the whole room heard how loud it thumped -

when you leaned closer to whisper something,

the rest of my world blurred into nothing.

I'm going insane, just poetry and you,

life seems to have taken on a different hue.

I try to burn this love, collect the ashes in a heap,

but it comes back to life, and I can't sleep.


That smile, that angels would **** for,

every inch of you, all I adore;

I'm losing my breath, drowning in dreams,

empty fantasies, crystal sunlight beams.

Get out of my head, if you're not mine to keep,

you're always on my mind... and I can't sleep.

My smiles keep getting lost on their way to you,

ending up everywhere except where they're meant to;

You're a Northern star, unreachable to ships at sea,

but an indicator of direction, of where they should be.


Like petals of cherry blossom the wind blows away,

they're too fragile and light, to be able to stay.

I envy the breeze that caresses your face,

softly, like the gentle touch of fine lace.


And my smiles wander, disoriented still,

sensing the space between us, that they try to fill;

a bridge of smiles, held together by hope,

a love letter in a transparent envelope.


So I keep waiting, like a bud awaits the spring,

hopeless yet hoping, a bell on a string -

a silent melody, safely stored away,

waiting for Dawn, for the light of day.

You never let down your guard.

Charming and polite; a poker-face behind the card.

Around you are walls of smiles and lies,

a fortress in which the true you hides.


I wonder if you are a little like me,

behind that mask of "always carefree".

I think there's more to you, for the little things you say,

quietly, in the evening, more truthfully than during day.

You're a little too perfect, to be fully real,

and I'm dying to know - what is your deal?

You keep declining, to join us and drink,

you must have your reasons, and that makes me think.

I won't drink either, since it's of no use

in forgetting about you - it just lights the fuse.

Though it would be easier, to just blame the liquor,

and the liquid courage, that makes it all quicker.

But there you go being a Good Influence on me,

my Silent Suffering, my Penance, my Ecstasy.

Would it overwhelm you if you knew?

Today I literally climbed I mountain for you.

And I'd do it again, to see that smile,

to drown in your eyes as I pass each mile.

Would you think less of me, if you knew?

I am a coward. And I will never tell you.

I'm grateful for the tiny, ephemeral things:

your voice is the gentle touch on guitar strings.



So, I take no risks - too high are the stakes;

I prefer little to nothing, to make no mistakes.

You know, from every card-game we played,

I am no gambler, my decisions are weighed.

Or perhaps, more truly, I am afraid,

too lose even these crumbs, if the wrong card is laid.


I wish I could tell you, all that I feel,

but my tongue is tied, on my lips there's a seal.

If you knew everything, from beginning to end,

would you no longer be even my friend?

Are we even that? Do you even care?

Is this image real, or mere lens flare?


You are the Dawn, the flash of light on dewdrops...

I'm just a poet, hollow wind in the treetops...

It's ironic that I keep addressing

these poems to you, to whom I'm confessing;

yet you will never read a single line,

just like you won't ever be mine.


We haven't much in common, truth be told,

you're a go-getter, and I'm not that bold.

You are the Fire - I merely smoke,

you're the real deal, I'm just a joke.

A reflection, a shadow, a distant dim glow,

the inklings of frost on a winter window.

Broken up pieces of soft sea glass,

a whisper that quickly will fade and pass.


You wouldn't even like this fluttery rhyme,

these wings without bodies that fly into time,

disappear in the veil of an anonymous abyss,

ephemeral sparkles that no one will miss.


My soul trickles into every verse;

not for a moment did I regret this curse.

It's bittersweet, this lovely pain,

your presence is a diamond rain -

sharp and brilliant, all in one.

You are the Moon, but also the Sun.

So drunk on you, without a drop of alcohol,

there's nothing I can do, even harder I fall

then I've already fallen; I'm high on this overdose,

because until midnight I had you so close.

It's torture, but sweet - just an inch away,

I never want this night to turn into day.


Lost in a chestnut forest that sparkles in your eyes,

we laughed and laughed, I didn't notice how time flies.

And you looked so happy when we won the game,

I wish every night could be the same.

And yet you remain so elusive to me,

a bittersweet pain, what we might be;

So nice to everyone, it's difficult to tell

whether you know, or if you also fell.

Bring me to life - give me a sign,

I have to know if you would be mine.

I used to have hope, devotions ran deep,

would have given everything for you to keep.

Like clay in your hands, I could have been whatever

you wanted of me, but the answer seems "never".

Could have taken a bullet for you in a heartbeat,

and perhaps I still would, but this feeling must forfeit.

I'll get over you, I have my pride,

I'll look away, to the other side.

I've been acting like someone I don't know

irresponsible, weak, soft like dough;

I'm taking my life back in my hands,

I won't be controlled by my heart's demands.

A chemical cocktail I was drunk on,

it's time to get sober, the party is gone;

and as the night turns into dawn,

you will fade too: brown into fawn.

Chestnut into sand, for the wind to drive away,

time heals all wounds, only memories will stay.

And I'm not sorry, darling, for the poems that I wrote,

but I'm moving on, I have found an antidote.

Like nothing else matters, you make me feel free,

I could move mountains with you next to me.

I could reach out and touch the sky,

do anything I wish, with you I could fly.


I know you're not perfect, but neither am I,

we make each other better, higher than high.

Arms I could melt into, safe and sound,

just thoughts of you lift me off of the ground.

I walk the city streets, floating in clouds,

wrapped in fluffy fantasies, not noticing the crowds.


As long as there's the slightest chance,

I won't give up, I love this trance.

I could live off your smile, I've said it before,

Never enough of you, I always want more.

If I had to cast a Patronus, the image is clear:

the memory of you laughing drives away any fear.

The brightest star in a constellation, softest note in a song,

I've never been in love before, until you came along.

Even across distances, I wouldn't forget

this feeling, this fire, on that you can bet.

Only on you my heart is set,

I owe you all these poems - what a lovely debt.

Just say the word, I'll fall into your arms,

There's no way I could ever resist your charms.

I'm made of cobwebs, shaded grays,
echos faded by the murky streetlight;
Festive blobs signal the holidays -
and ricochet off me into the night.
.
A thick, dull fog 'tween me and them,
a brick wall no one can see;
seamless weights in my hem,
and dust inside what used to be me.
.
And then there's you, a year away,
waisted tears, and prayers null;
an end thought for each void day,
a whisper-scratch in my old hull.
.
The words avoid me, skittish things,
like birds that flutter fragile wings;
the right ones are only fledglings,
too young for new beginnings.
.
And I wish that I could care for cold,
worn out flat 'tween mortar and pestle,
a forlorn growth ring in a tree of old,
trapped inside a rotting vessel.
.
.