My love for you has started to astrophy
Muscel memory only exist if you can actually remember how to use it
And my heart has been cold for a long time
Frozen in a state of anguish
I do not want it back
Because with it comes pain and heartache
I can not take it anymore
My body has had enough
It's like self flagellation
Only I never see it coming
And it ******* carries a heavy punch

It's easy to walk around and pretend
That Felicity still belongs to me
And a lot harder to live in truth and wear my pain on my sleeve, a place my heart should be
I've never really had to be in the closet before
But with this...
With this I find skeletons pilling up around
Me 
No air left to breath

I feel like I am running
Running out of time
Running out of energy
Running out of hope
And I refuse to bruise my knees
For someone who needs
More than I can give

I measure time in intervals of ten
Ten seconds;
The amount of time it takes for words to leave your lips and hit my ears like they were wrapped up in anthrax, poisonous.
Ten minutes;
The amount of time It took me to convince myself that everything you conditioned me to believe is your truth, not mine.
Ten months;
The amount of time it will take me to feel like you no longer have a hold on me, free.
Ten years;
The amount of time before All of the cracks and pieces you took from me all fine their way back, complete.
I measure time in intervals of ten,
Because ten is a hell of a lot easier than forever.

Occasionally I forget you're gone
Like when I take a few seconds
To notice the leaves have changed
The smell of cinnamon pollutes the air
But
It only ever lasts a few seconds
And then Im back
Counting down month's
Days
Minutes
Seconds
And I can not help but to wonder
When occasionally will show up agian