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Hiraeth Jun 2019
My love for you has started to astrophy
Muscel memory only exist if you can actually remember how to use it
And my heart has been cold for a long time
Frozen in a state of anguish
I do not want it back
Because with it comes pain and heartache
I can not take it anymore
My body has had enough
It's like self flagellation
Only I never see it coming
And it ******* carries a heavy punch

It's easy to walk around and pretend
That Felicity still belongs to me
And a lot harder to live in truth and wear my pain on my sleeve, a place my heart should be
I've never really had to be in the closet before
But with this...
With this I find skeletons pilling up around
MeĀ 
No air left to breath

I feel like I am running
Running out of time
Running out of energy
Running out of hope
And I refuse to bruise my knees
For someone who needs
More than I can give
Hiraeth Jun 2019
Ten
I measure time in intervals of ten
Ten seconds;
The amount of time it takes for words to leave your lips and hit my ears like they were wrapped up in anthrax, poisonous.
Ten minutes;
The amount of time It took me to convince myself that everything you conditioned me to believe is your truth, not mine.
Ten months;
The amount of time it will take me to feel like you no longer have a hold on me, free.
Ten years;
The amount of time before All of the cracks and pieces you took from me all fine their way back, complete.
I measure time in intervals of ten,
Because ten is a hell of a lot easier than forever.
Hiraeth Jun 2019
Occasionally I forget you're gone
Like when I take a few seconds
To notice the leaves have changed
The smell of cinnamon pollutes the air
But
It only ever lasts a few seconds
And then Im back
Counting down month's
Days
Minutes
Seconds
And I can not help but to wonder
When occasionally will show up agian

— The End —