In this game of fencing
   I was teaching her different styles..

She learnt with an open heart
   Was a sponge in disguise..

Like a choreographed dance
    With rythmic beats with rhyme..

And when all of it was done
     She killed me with a perfect strike.

I wrote ...I erased...
I refined it....then wrote it again.

The words....of the memories....
Writing the soul....with different stories.

Calmed breathing...finally controlled...
Pulse under normal...then.... I let go.

Black clouds covering the white,
Thunder and lightning exploded,
Making the birds to take flight.

Wind blowing,
      Swinging everything to right.
Huddling a family of veronica's,
      In a corner, to survive.

The raindrops,
     Making everything bright.
The pearls hitting my window,
     Making me come outside.

The prism forming,
      The scattering of light.
Colors bursting,
      A mesmerising site.

Essence of this beauty,
     Capturing in my eyes.
Trying to giving it a form of a poem,
    Failing miserably this time.

A simple touch,
An innocent hug,
I'm trying to rein my feelings,
Please make it worth.

Twinkling eyes,
Goofy smile,
Don't be that sweet ,
It's getting harder to hide.

You're touchy feely,
Please take it easy,
You've got no idea
what's going on inside,
This head of mine.

You're all over the place,
I'm trying to keep inside,
Please behave until ,
You are ready to be mine.

The idealisation of the far-fetched reality ,
Doesn't make it right.
The happiness coming from someone else's pain,
Doesn't make you thrive.
The insensebility of taking wrong decisions,
Doesn't make you look cute, just cruel and naive.
The passing on of the confusion,
Shows your incapability of commitment or in general Life.
The repetitiveness of a command,
Doesn't make people oblige.
It's a simple game...
A game of what's wrong and what's right!.
Of seeing things you ignored ,
Being a self-centred blind.
It's an opportunity to open yourself up,
For the things you've done to others,
and putting yourself in their shoes...
And.....REALISE.

Oblivion...
       A mirage of an existence
Passion...
       Mediocrity being persistent.
Drifting...
      Crash landing on a pile of disappointment.

The walls built to protect,
The walls of sand castle.
The walls keep closing,
The walls becomes the world,

Putting up with empty values,
Dictation on every step.
The Barriers built to teach,
The Barriers meet amends.

Should've tried harder
Should've work for my existence
Should've told to mind their business
Should've built my own castle.

Cause the reason..
The reason I couldn't find myself
The reason I lost my breath
The reason concrete cemented
And castle turned to cage..

The reason my wings broke
The reason I forget to fly
The reason there's no ground beneath my feet...
And the reason is me.

Hold my hands above my head.
Wrap my wings as they starts to spread.
Keep me concealed as I tried to expand.
An illusion so grand.

The walls crumble as they descend.
The floor becoming the roof,
As the roof become the ground.
Tearing apart skin and bones.
Or Maybe awaking the conscience they never had.

Different sets of rules are going to apply.
With my wings wrapped I'm going to fly.
You and me are going to be reborn,
Even before we die.
Going ashore as they watch on stand by.

I know....
    You are totally rooting for my short-comings.
I'm sure....
     You'd love to tell me all about it.
I hope you know...
     There's nothing you can say to surprise me.
I wonder. ..
      If you're aware ...it's impossible to break me.

Can't see
Beyond the fog
Of this helplessness.
  
      Prayers are
      Not enough to
      Sanctify this darkness.

            The urge
            To bleed within
            Fighting this hopelessness.

                   Fleeting moments
                   Piercing through
                   This bond of deception.

                           Lies among the truth
                           Fate of my destiny
                           Wait enough to hold
                           A stand for confession.

Help held inside
This mind of mine
Fight against myself
Burn. ...
Or hurt to Sanctify.

Within the fog of my emotions,
I didn't recognise the one you were going through.
In the race of reaching my dreams,
I couldn't wait to see if you made it through.
The passion I felt,
I just wanted a chance to prove.
It was as if you have to pick,
It's your heart or soul you gotta choose.
Tell the world it was the mind,
My heart was never confused.

Keeping everyone at the arm length,
    Not trusting a soul.
This isolation you choose for yourself,
    Is it yours or someone else's fault?

A jaded heart,
     A broken trust.
          A love unfinished,
                And an unquenched thirst.

It hurts to love,
    More so to be loved.
           A race unending,
                  But finishing is must.

Trusting the instinct,
     No fear to be ashtray.
              Fighting the battle,
                     No shelter  ,   no escape.

A pilgrimage of your own,
          Don't need the rest.
                 Everyone left behind,
                       Turned to ashes or dust.

Is it really about?
        If you need someone or not.
You came alone in this world,
        You gonna go alone as well.

Keep on smiling ..
     If you wish for me to smile.
Keep on moving...
     If you wish for me to walk by.

Keep on reaching...
     Someone will hold you tight.
Keep on pursuing...
      No one can make you hide.

Keep on looking...
     If you wish someone to find.
Keep on loving...
     And I'll meet you on the other side.

I'm a picture ...
     You're my portrait.
I'm abstract. ..
       You're there present.
Live in the moment. ..
         Life's too short to waste on stand by.

Trapped within itself
A silent cry ...
of an abandoned soul.
Hold me upright,
Cause I can't anymore.

With my wings tied tight
I'm learning to fly
All around and above
I'm seeing myself
With your eyes..

The faith I see
The picture you paint
A lone lost star
In search of its moon..

you came
You made me believe
I see.....I smile...
I stop....I sigh...
I creat...I heal...
I learn...I fly...
For the trapped soul...to the one who freed ..
This world with you ...
....straight up good..

A stranger unknown
Make believe the fact
The search came fruitful
Then I met myself.

The limits I see no more...
Maybe it's an illusion...
Maybe it's not.

You came along..
The star ain't alone anymore..
My own little constellation...
I can fly towards horizon.

You made me believe..
I see.....I smile...
I stop....I sigh...
I creat...I heal...
I learn...I fly...
For the trapped soul...to the one who freed ..
This world with you ...
....straight up good.

The moment stretched thin,
    Within your eyes lies..
The fate of your despair,
     As you face your desire.

Lonely nights caused,
     As your bleeding heart flies.
The leaving of your soul,
      Within the moment lies.

The eyes tell the story,
     The one your smile hides.
You let yourself fall,
     As the time flies by.

The moment stretched thin,
     When you live behind the words.
The expected memories feels,
      Within your soul it cries.

And the moment stretched thin,
     Within the moment lies.
The fate of your desire,
      As you face your despair.

I've struggled,to get up in the morning,
Knowing,you won't be in the kitchen preparing the breakfast.
I've struggled,to go to office,
Knowing,you won't be there to say"see you in the evening".
I've struggled, to get my work done.
Knowing,chances of you forgiving me are none.
I've struggled,to keep myself centered.
since, you are everywhere.
I've struggled,to come back home,
Knowing,I'll be there all alone.
I've struggled,to going to bed,
Knowing ,I won't be getting any rest.
I've struggled,to keep your memories down.
Knowing,I'll be lying awake till the dawn.

Anger,
              Pain,
                      And burning eyes.
Hurt,
          Despair,
                         And despise.
Hate,
           Blame,
                        And smile.
Flames,
             Blisters,
                           In disguise.
Tears left,
                   And Tears dry.

Emotions filled up to the brim
starts to leak out...
It hurts all over the place
Someone please tell my mind 'time-out'.

The tears seems unending. ..
The heart uncontrolled. ..
The way to my home...
Blocked with an open door.

I've seen the worst of it,
I'm standing at the same place.
It's been a thing to forget,
It was kinda my safe place.

As if the world slows down,
With my each passing breath.
As if my heart trying to fight,
It's way out my chest.
As if I'm soon gonna wake up,
From this life in nightmare.
As if I could wash it all way,
With nothing but my tears.
As if it would stop being inside me,
If I take it out on paper.
As if I can fill this void,
With just my sheer passion,
As if I can go back,
and start from the beginning.

No words can describe,
What it's like to be here.
No words can portray,
This collateral damage.

It's a funeral of my heart,
Don't know how I've survived.
The faces I love,
Wanna run away from and just hide.

Can I say what I want?
Would it matter?....absolutely not.
Everything is a waste..
Every effort in vain..
Every moment drags..
Every life a sentence..

I'm alone in every memory,
Why I miss.. anything wasn't here..
Why does it feels...
As if you left in this very moment.

I won't show anymore...
The feelings I have.
I won't relish being in pain...
This poem will be the last.

As I made the journey...
       From "what I could"...to "what I should "..
I died a thousand million deaths.

Every insecurity. ..
       Every doubt...
               Every failure...
                      Every fear....
Came rushing towards....
           knocking me a few pegs down.

The mirror.......the reality..
The choices.......the destiny..
My life......my sanctuary. .
My safe place.....my sanity.

The mess I've created...
    The Love I crave...
My heart losing control. ...
     My mind telling to behave.

The battle ground inside...
    Which side to choose...
No matter how I play it...
     It is me whose gonna lose.

My eyes cry...
     My lips smile...
          My heart beats...
                My soul dies.

One moment. ..one emotion.
I was lost to oblivion...
      A different version of myself.
For better or for worse??
       You were there......
              Do you not like me anymore?.

The morning breeze. ..
        Stings on cheeks. ...
            Making them rosy red. ...
                Doing the work of caffeine fix.

Waking up from sleepy stupor....
       Floating through hairs. ....
            Making them look like the bird nest...
          
Fingers chilled. ...
    Shivering bodies...
        Chattering teeth .....
             Reminding that we're still alive.

No matter how hard you've been hit.
No matter how much you want to give in.
No matter the circumstances.
No matter the sacrifices.

There's always a good side.

If tonight is the darkest it's ever been.
Then tomorrow would be the brightest you've ever seen.
If the days are cloudy and rainy.
The nights will be starry.
The moon will shine a litter brighter to cheer you up.
The sun will be pleasant to warm you up.
The hugs will be tighter,
The smiles will be brighter,
The tears will be of laughter,
And the joy of happily ever after.

You just have to keep hoping,
Dreaming,
Chasing,
Fighting,
And never giving up.

Your mischievous eyes,
Your breathtaking smile.
Your nerdy analogies,
Every other sentence being an apology.

Your love for stir-fry,
The obession with sci-fi.
Your fleeting crushes on movie stars,
Your favourite dark chocolate bar?.

Your silent observations,
Your lengthy conversations.
Your turquoise reading glasses,
Your passion about comics.

Your unapologetic attitude,
Your unbound energy.
The depth hidden in your innocent package,
Your story outrageous and crazy.

Your untied laces,
Still packed boxes?
Everywhere left your litter,
Your mouth without the filter.

The different sides of your personality,
The stubbornness about your dignity.
The way you refuse any help,
Doing everything by yourself.

And Your sneaky ways to melt any heart.

A trio,
       A bond,
              The mortal enemies,
                         Ended up being friends.
We met when we were kids,
      Well you two were...I was always me!
It started with just two,
     Ohh how I wish I can erase that from my memory.
Sitting on the same desk,
                      Fighting every day.
I didn't liked you very much,
                  But we were partners anyway.
We fought,
           We loved ,
                    We hated.
We smiled,
           We cried ,
                     Got separated.
Then we met again,
          We were better this time.
Within the space of two years,
          I learned the patience you learned to smile.
We got separated again,
         But never lost the touch.
Well,if we were always together,
         Would've been too much!.

Then came the third counterpart,
         And balanced it all.
The huge space you carry,
         We were going with the flow.

Taking a trip together,
        Sharing a hotel room.
We bonded on window seat,
        And seriously bad food.

I don't remember,
       what happened after that!!
It's all a blur ,
       Of having a good time and sarcastic comment.
Emotions and support,
       Couldn't ask for better.
If I die tomorrow,
       It would be without regret.
Just don't make fun of my corpse,
       Let me die without your cracks.
So glad to have you both,
       In this weird *** world.
I'm happy I was there to ground you,
      To keep you both in line,
And to teach about the life.

The light won't shine on your part.
The sun will not engulf you in it's warmth.
You'd lose your power to restore,
To rejuvenate. ..to be worthy of it's essence.
When the morning turns to dark,
Think of me.

The road to your happiness will be blocked,
The door that had been cracking open,
and making your way smooth will be closed.
You'd lose your power to open whats enclosed.
When you walk down the road to your doom.
Think of me.

The home you left behind will be there no more.
The address of your distress is what will be waiting for .
Everything that's good will be a privilege you can not afford.
When you make your final journey to the thing you called home.
Think of me.

There won't a twilight zone.
The stars so far beyond your eyes reach.
Nothing beautiful you'll ever be able to see .
The wind won't caress your skin.
The softness of an affection you will never feel.
When the night turn the darkest before the dawn.
Think of me.

And When you'll be left alone to defend your own.
Think of me.

I didn't wanted to ***** you,
Wanted to give you time.
I was taking it slow,
Since I thought,we have a lifetime.

But you were snatched away,
In such a brutal way.
I couldn't get my bearing,
Couldn't believe what I was hearing.

I didn't know you were struggling,
What kind of a friend I've been?
Didn't even know,
The hand you were dealing.

I was just around the corner,
You would just have to reach.
Or you could've just told me,
We would've set up a meeting.

I would've answered,
Anytime you called.
What was your hesitation?
I was your best friend.as you've told!

If you would've just told me,
Maybe we would've still had time.
I would've moved heaven and earth,
Just to make you mine.

I searched for you forever,
Looking for your face in stranger.
Even chasing few wrong persons,
There's new height for my hallucinations.

Now,I'm going through the motion,
Working through this pain.
Waiting for that day to come,
Till we meet again.

Today I'm not angry on you for letting go,
Would've been nice to keep you though.
But I'm not upset anymore,
I'm calm , I'm cool and level-headed,
And I'm ready to move on.

These old ratty ways,
           Aren't cutting it anymore.
Your unresponsive and aloofness,
           Ain't working anymore.

Today I'm not waiting for your call,
Cause I realised;
I don't need you for my happiness at all.
I wanted you, Like people does.
But I can live without being felt useless.

Today is a better day!
Today I'll face anything,come it may!
Today I'm smiling for myself,
Feeling more respect for myself.
Today I'm controlling my own heart.
Today I'm not falling apart.
Today you are not constantly on my mind.
Today I can see the world outside.
Today I'm feeling the much needed relief.
Today I have only myself to believe.
Today is what it's supposed to make.
Today I'm stopping this chase.