I wish I could believe the things I told you.

One I start I cannot stop
So much to be said
All stuffed in my head
Thoughts creep shyly out
They soon get comfortable and run about
There’s not enough room on this page
To fit the thoughts that live in my brain-cage
So I won’t try.

I’ve been told
“No one expects you to be perfect.”
A lot.
So many times, in fact,
That it has lost it’s meaning.

Because, the thing is:
No one expects me to be perfect
But can you look me in the eye
And tell me
No one expects me
To at least be “okay”?

Drawing a blank
Writing a word
Got writer’s block to thank
For the lines that look blurred.

Have you ever felt
Super super strong
And then suddenly something
Comes and knocks you down.

But instead of laying there
Like a beached whale
You get back up
And you seek revenge.

But you don’t topple that something
That brought you to your knees
But you instead stand taller than ever.
You become so successful,
It’s like saying, “Your efforts meant nothing!”
To the thing that pushed you back.

You surged forward.
You are a Force to be reckoned with.

I always dreamt of being free.
But every time I broke the chains,
I handcuffed myself to sadness.
I am familiar with this blue entity,
Who suffocated my success.
But I will not pity myself
Anymore.
The point of these poems
Is to liberate me
From self-made chains.
I just want to help
You guys and myself too.
Because the pen is more powerful than the sword,
And I won’t duel with myself anymore.

I was kind of unsure
But not anymore!

You want me to trust you?
But you don’t trust me,
And I’ll never trust you.

Success can’t be achieved
I refuse to accept that
Giving up isn’t the answer
Every day it’s proved to me:
Happiness doesn’t truly remain
It’s a complete deceit that
I always have a choice
The reality is
I can’t get out of this hole I dug
I am by no means persuaded
“The sun rises after night.”
Or
“You must always keep trying.”
I really must declare
“Night never leaves.”
Since it is impossible
I could escape my pain.

A glitch in the system
Who nobody listens
To but they do
She doesn’t know
She’s too busy playing victim.

She doesn’t notice
That others can see
Her turmoil
Her lack of peace.

She feels alone
Cold
A heart weighed by stone.

Help me.

Remember where I came from.
I will always
Carry the ashes in my memory.
So I constantly
Dream of fires burnt.
Nevertheless, I
Carry my dreams into reality.
I will not be afraid to
Keep you in my heart and mind.

Numbness is
Being a statue
On a battlefield.

The sun
Peeks up
To say
Hello.

The salty water
Laps at
Your feet
Beckoning you
To submerge yourself
In it.

You jump in
The cold water
Your siren
Unforgiving.

The waves
Push you down
The light of dawn
Floating farther away.

You drift up to meet it
Brisk air
Gushing into
Your lungs.

Freedom
Never felt
So good.

Fazed
In a haze
Lost in a maze
Keep on praising
The ones who are crazy.

I don’t think you realize
The direness of this.
Do you realize what you’ve done?
I am a person,
Not paper.
But you ripped me to shreds anyway.

I know
You think I
Look weird.
I know
I’m staring.
But talking
Never works.
No one cares
To understand
Me.
So I have
Resorted
To telepathy.
Maybe if
I look at you
Enough,
You’ll see
The pain
In my eyes.

You look at me like you’re nervous.
You ask me why I was staring at you.
I pretend I wasn’t.
I tell you I was reading the poster behind you.
You look away.
Memories of you come back.
I don’t know if I love you again.
Do I want to?
Do you?
Please do.
Ugh.
What am I doing.

Do you know
Where the wishes go
When the wishes are wished away?

Do you know
Where the hope goes
When sadness and pain
Drives it away?

Do you know
Where the knowledge goes
When people don’t want to hear it?

They go to the minds of the poets
So we might return it back
To the very people
Who banished it to the dark waters
Of hurt.

I used to think that
Time ran slow as peanut butter
Just to annoy me.

I don’t think that anymore.
Now I think
Time speeds by like its trying to imitate The Flash
Just to annoy me.

Get lost in the music
Get lost in the words
Look up to the sky
See bright blue birds.

Rose colored glasses
Won’t fix anything
But clear magnifying ones
Will help you see more closely.

Don’t put your shades on
Don’t put your head in the sand
Just because things may be going south
Not everything’s sad and bland.

If the world keeps getting worse
Happiness will go first
Moral compass will go second
The weak will be left to fend
For themselves.

If the world keeps getting better
Your own daughter can change the world, just let her
Wars would never start
There would be less shattered hearts
And more love.

She would like to feel something again
She thinks she deserves the pain
She thinks she is a living sin
And that it is not worth living.

She is wrong.

You set me free
Inspire me
Inspire epiphanies
Inspire word and deed.

You never fail to make me cry
Though I could never say goodbye
To you as you also give me highs
Make me feel like I floated up into the sky.

I will never let you go
You will never be my foe
Oh, how I love you so!
For you never give me true woe.

Bet you didn’t know
I was talking ‘bout books, yo!

A small flame
Can burn a forest
And send smoke billowing.
Just one small flame
On a melting candle.

Sunshine and butterflies
Don’t live in this world of mine
I never new how to not fail
I think I’ll just stop trying

It’s not a remarkable rarity,
Not a ruby reflecting the rays
Of the sun, indeed, serendipity
Is like salt in the Monterey Bay.

It’s the dollar you find in your pocket,
It’s the hummingbird visiting home—
The song you would keep in a locket
If you could, for it plays like a poem.

You needn’t be lucky to find it,
It is not a matter of chance.
Open your eyes, be unblinded
And you’ll see it in every glance.

The moon, the stars, the heavens on high
Are not hidden—simply look up to the sky.

So
I put up walls.
I guess we all do.
To block out the wind and rain.
But I put up a house,
Wrapped in chains
All boarded up and stuff.
This is my mind.
I live there.
In my mind/house
I love painting.
I paint wonderful masterpieces
But no one can see them
Because no one can get in.
I’m boarded up.
And I yell and yell
But no one hears me
Because I don’t really want them to
But I do.
I really do.
Illogical beyond measure, I know.
But logic is for robots.
This lady’s an artist.

You wear faces like a mask
You hide feelings in a cask
Your countenance is set like stone
Sharp eyes, glass shards, to become renown.

It’s always loud.
Too loud.
The world is always whistling
Around.
The planet is spinning
On its axis
A wee bit to fast.
It’s always loud.
My mind is loud.
My friends are loud.
I just wish
Everyone will just
Quiet down
For a little while.

Face the world
With your head up high.
That’s who I used to be.
That girl was fun
That girl was kind
That girl used to be me.

I faced the world
With my head held high
Until I saw things
I didn’t want to see.
That little girl
Is long gone now
But I miss her
Because she used to be free.

The wind blows through me
As easily as it blows through the trees.

Maybe
I am exactly how I feel
Full of holes.

Hope is our only salvation.
Money and power will get us nowhere.
We think we know so much
Until the wise tells us we don’t.
We are always afraid,
Whether we want to admit it or not.
I am not exempt from this population.
I am always afraid.
Afraid of failure.
Afraid of success.
Afraid that if I do well
You’ll expect it all the time.
I am afraid of not knowing-
You might be too.
So we pretend that we know what we don’t,
So we can have lies to lean on.

This room is so crowded
I barely have space to breath.
People try and chat with me
Their sound resembling a buzzing bee-
I don’t know if it’s just me-
But I still feel incomprehensibly lonely.

Are you okay?
You always say:
I’m FINE!
Do you want me to believe you?
I try to help,
But you just push me away.
I don’t know
What you want
From me.
Just tell me.
I just want to help you.
I just want to soothe your pain.
All I want is for you
To be happy again.

Flowers in a field
They reach and grab for the sun
Daisies and daffodils
Roses and carnations
Poppies and sunflowers
Reach for the stars
Reach for the sun.

Hope is when
The sun rises high
When you don’t want it to.

You cannot do nothing.
You cannot be nothing.
We are all something,
And to someone in the world,
You are everything.
We believe that we are nothing,
But nothing can be nothing,
Unless it does not exist.
You cannot do nothing
Because even when you’re dead
You are laying there.
That is something.
One cannot be nothing.

We exist.

Overhear
Do you hear
Me?
Are you hear?
I mean here.
Are you here?
Can you here me?
Hear me
Sear me
Mirror me.

“Don’t ever forget where you came from,”
She said to me.
She said,
“Don’t ever forget the twigs of your nest.”
At that point,
I didn’t understand.
Couldn’t I fly further
If I didn’t carry the weight of memories?
Then I realized
That I may not fly as far,
But if I never forgot her-if I never forgot those pieces of me-
I would never be lost.

Vague as it seems
My whimsical means
Of writing seems
To be working for me.

I’ve been down in the dumps
Been up in the sky
I’ve written about being stumped
And I’ve written of lies.

I’ve written of rhymes
And I’ve written of soul
Thank goodness my ideas aren’t drawn from a pool
I would’ve been dry by then!

The magic
Is in the mystery
And the mystery
Is in the people.

The magic
Is in all of us.
Look
And you will find it.

You are magical
Whether you believe it or not.

Start
Try again
Give up
Try again
Start
Rip yourself apart
Give up
Try again.

You try
So hard
You’re life
Is no longer yours.
Burnt out
You want to quit
But you can’t
No you can’t
Until you reach perfection.

Sun tell me why
I can’t see the light
In all you illuminate
The darkness shining through.

Moon tell me why
I can’t find the peace
That you glow with every night
Cutting a hole in the blackness.

Stars tell me why
I haven’t found my lucky one yet
Tell me why
Your sparkle seems to evade my eyes
Your glimmer shining dull
Next to the missing piece of me.

Logic
Seems so illogical
When you try
And justify
Your emotion.

Over and over and over again,
You look at me like I’m your friend.
You knock, and I let you in.
Over and over and over again.

Never, ever, ever again.
Will I ever let you in.
I don’t trust anyone anymore.
But at least I’m courteous enough to pretend I do.

Here’s a few things I think everyone should know:
1. Be yourself, because if you don’t then people will expect the new you, and when you don’t deliver they may act negatively. This leads to a vicious cycle of lies. Lie once, lie twice, and then suddenly you’re drowning in them.
2. You’ve got dreams, stick to them. There may be a few detours, but still keep your end goal in mind. Throw them out, and you throw away your hope. You need hope in this bleak world. In fact, your hope will make this bleak world brighter.
3. Do not be unkind. Do not make generalizations. Do not judge too much on others. All of what I just said is REALLY hard. In fact, I probably fail at all of them sometimes. But you gotta try, or your going to accidentally topple someone’s world.
4. Don’t preach like you know everything-oh wait, I’m doing that right now.

I can’t give you the world.
Can’t conjure it up for you.
But I already
Got the world right in front of me.

But I’ll write you the sea
I’ll write you a town,
I’ll write you the trees.
I’ll type up the moon
And the stars in the sky
But not once will you see me writing you a goodbye
Not once will you see me writing you a goodbye.

If I could think
That would be great
But my brain just won’t comply.

If only I could create
Something useful
Too bad my brain is fried.

If I could pass my math test
That would be quite the miracle
But that’s another story
For another time
About how bad I am at math.

I like to make up stories.
Somewhere I wish I could be.
I always gave myself a new name.

1. Quinn
This one is quite obvious. It is my pen name. It sounds adventurous. I want to have adventures. Yet I still don’t.

2. Noah
Noah and the ark.

3. Peter
It sounds innocent. What I wish I was.

4. Liam
Idk, it’s just a good name.

5. Winter
This could be both genders. I think it suits a girl best. Or a boy. Whichever. Well, anyways, it sounds super cool! (Pun intended.)

6. Kaelynn
It sounds fun, and it rhymes with Quinn!

7.  Allesandria
It sounds exhilarating. I think it’s the Spanish version of Alexandria. I probably spelt it wrong.