Peace is overrated
My mind cannot be sated
Writing’s like puking rainbows
I don’t even know what I’m writing about now.
Maybe I’m just getting words to rhyme now
Guess it seems I’m sinking down low
But there’s so much I need to say so
Rhyming’s getting a bit harder.

I can’t let it get too long yet
Because then people
Won’t care to read it.
But I need you people to read this,
Because I’m screaming
My ******* up ****-I mean crap.

If I knew how to write a song I
Would be writing
Until I almost died.
But I guess it would be better
To just be poetic
And not worry how it sounds.

It probably took you quite a while
For you to read this
I am still unsure what I’m writing
I think I need a hint.

The snow is a white blanket.
Life is a torrential sea.
Living is piloting an airplane during a blizzard.
Still water is a mirror.
The girl was a lioness
Regal and sleek.
Metaphor is the Voyager Golden Record
Of humanity.

I miss
Everything
I can never have.
I miss
Everything
I never had.

We’re so simple
So complicated,
We keep on
Making things complex
We just wish
For simplicity
But all we do
Is ponder complexities
That **** sapiens created.

Nothing lasts forever.
Don’t tell me
That we won’t fall apart.
Everything
Falls apart.
Everything
That is made
Falls apart.
So don’t
Tell me
That we are forever.
We are not
Forever.

I can’t give you the world.
Can’t conjure it up for you.
But I already
Got the world right in front of me.

But I’ll write you the sea
I’ll write you a town,
I’ll write you the trees.
I’ll type up the moon
And the stars in the sky
But not once will you see me writing you a goodbye
Not once will you see me writing you a goodbye.

Ideas and ideals
Are almost the same
We think what we want
And we want what we say.

We think what we thunk
Is genius and wise
But really it’s just
A whole ton of lies.

We saw what we said
Was all in our head
But we did not take it back
We saw it as fact.

I’m always on guard.
Always afraid.
Always on thin ice.
The eggshells-
They crunch beneath my feet.
Can’t say the wrong thing
Did I say the wrong thing?
Right and wrong.
Right and wrong.
Black and white-
Somewhere in between?

If you were just a soul
How would you manifest?
For all those familiar with Greek mythology
You may know what Chaos is.
Chaos is what-in Greek mythology-
The universe was
Before it was created.
I picture this blackness
But blackness full of purple
And blue
And red dust.
All of this is just swirling in this black hole
Of nonexistence.
Order?
None of it.
Safety?
Lol you’re funny.
Well,
Anyways,
I think my naked soul
Would manifest as Chaos.
I am Chaos.
Order?
Never heard of it.
Safety?
I’m more like “WARNING: MAY EXPLODE AT ANY TIME!!!”
Chaos
That’s what I am.
What are you?

If everyone in the world
Could be half as bright as you
The sun would not measure up to us.

If everyone in the world
Could be half as funny as you
A second would not pass
Without having a good hearty laugh.

If I
Could be half as YOU as you
Maybe I might deserve you.

stop
go
stop
go
go forward
go towards me
I SAID PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER
AND WALK TOWARDS ME.
walk
stop
pause
LISTEN.
go

Up in flames
Dancing around my burning flesh
You live
To set fire
Right?
You set me
On fire
Now I burn
I burn
Like dry paper
On the surface
Of a star.

I haven’t written poems in a week,
That’s enough to make me freak,
But HePo wouldn’t work,
It made me go berserk
I think it may need some tweaks.

Don’t
Try to get in.
The door’s locked
And I won’t open the door.

Don’t
Try to break my walls.
They’re made of titanium
Fireproof titanium.

It’s
So lonely in here.
Why
Did I imprison myself
Here?

Red roses
Red poppies
Red apples in summer.
Red blood spilled
Red lipstick
Red eyes after crying lakes.
Red markers
Red houses
Red bricks breaking through my window.
Red hearts
Black hearts
Broken hearts.

Remember where I came from.
I will always
Carry the ashes in my memory.
So I constantly
Dream of fires burnt.
Nevertheless, I
Carry my dreams into reality.
I will not be afraid to
Keep you in my heart and mind.

I know.
All of my poems
Are just excuses.
You keep on saying that:
“Stop making excuses!”
I know I made a mistake.
I wish I didn’t.
You are the very person
Who taught me mistakes are bad,
Whether it was directly or indirectly.
And I believed you.
I keep on trying to justify my mistakes.
I’m sorry.
I know I made a bad choice.
But I guess I’m in denial
That I made a mistake
‘Cause didn’t you say mistakes are bad?

Possess
The mess
That I am.

I lied
I don’t want to be tied
To you because I know
When you fly you fall.

I’ve got so much to learn,
I have so much I yearn
For
But I can’t have everything
I’m better off with nothing
Than everything.

Hate
Is undeniably
Unjustified.
There are so many reasons
Not to hate
But we still do.
Even
If we are confronted
With solid EVIDENCE
That we should not hate
A person or a group of people,
We turn a blind eye
And we IGNORE the truth.
We always treasure the truth.
We dislike liars.
But it’s all hypocrisy
Because we lie to OURSELVES
And we lie to OTHERS.
We are liars.
We are liars,
And we project our
Inner turmoil
On people who do not deserve it.

How far
Humanity has sunk.
We lost our humanity,
We are ferocious animals.
We are animals
Tearing at each other’s flesh.

I want our humanity back.

Snow brings a new start.
Each day is novel.
Rain washes off tears.
Weather makes anew.

I figured out
Why so many people
In the world really ****.
There is only one logical reason:
They must have traded their kindness away!

With their kindness
Their empathy disappeared
Their sensitivity ran away
And humanities hope
-quite frankly-
Just left.

But why would they do this?
You might be asking.
This query used to puzzle me too.
But I have figured out what they were trading for:
Money and power!

Oh what a waste it is
To trade away hope for riches.
But humans are far more dumb than we think-
Maybe that explains it!

I got 100 followers!
Whoo hoo!
Thank you so much
For reading the nuclear waste
Of my messed up brain!
Thank you for encouraging me to continue.
I definitely couldn’t have gotten this far without you guys!

Shine your light upon me
So that I may see
The very thing that enraptured me.
Upon your arrival into my life,
I found that my burdens grew light.
True love is when you find a friend,
Who loves you and will help you grow
Until the end.

Does the Winter wash away
The pains I carry every day?
Does the snow cure and purify
Each scar I try to hide?
Does the rain bathe me in hope
That I will no longer be tied by the rope
Of anger and frustration holding me down
Following me everywhere I go, all around?

I want you to trust me.
Do you?
Please, because I trust you.

As monotonous
As life can seem
Somehow I still get caught up in it.
Or maybe I find it so boring
That I tap out of reality
And into my imagination.
I am a very idealistic person,
I’m afraid I may get lost in my ideals.
Wouldn’t that make it hard
To accept someone for who they are
If they didn’t match my ideals?
But I don’t actually know what my ideals are.
I always thought I was open-minded.
Maybe I am wrong.
Well, I must be, one way or the other
Because one cannot believe both.
Or maybe they can.
Do shades of grey apply to life
As they do to color?

I’m made out of colors
Colored outside of the lines
But I’m still turning out;
No one knows how this masterpiece
Is going to turn out yet.

The light
In our eyes
Is what’s keeping us alive.
Forget air, I don’t care,
Oxygen’s just keeping us from dying.
Do you know the difference?
Between alive and undead?
One’s worth living and one is not
The difference between the human and the bot.
The light I speak of now
Is not in your house, anyhow,
It’s found beneath the skin,
Beneath the ribs
Beneath your flesh.
The light inside is found worldwide
Forms of hope to help us cope
With the stress of imperfection
Where kindness is our own protection.

Is it so easy
To be happy?
Honestly
I am unsure
How people do it.
Maybe I am just negative
Too much of a pessimist.
But seriously,
It’s like my entire life
Is viewed through sunglasses.
They aren’t rose-tinted
Either.
They are so dark
It would probably be illegal
To have that kind of tint
On the windows of a car.

Being happy
Isn’t supposed to be so hard.

Wake up.
Go to school.
Come home.
Do homework.
Do chores.
Read.
Sleep.
Wake.
School.
Home.
Sleep.
So tired
Of all this predictability.
Days
Blend into each other.
Every day is the same.

Evening falls
And I’m sitting here
In the dim light of the moon
Waiting for my life to move forward
To move on.
What a waste it is:
To just sit and gaze
At passer-bys
Passing me by.
I wish to move somewhere
To something
Be something.
Where
When
And how
Are not my concerns.

I need help.
You guys tell me what to do.
My best friend cuts herself
And I can’t understand.
Make me understand.
I don’t know how to help her.
I think she needs my help.
But I don’t know how.
For all those who have cut before,
What did you wish someone did for you?
I need to do that for her.

Remember when the sun shines bright
It is at it’s full potential height.
But when it’s light can reach us here,
It takes thousands of days, months, years.
Looking down at our puny planet,
Fill our seas with your life essence.
Must you take so long?

Flowers in a field
They reach and grab for the sun
Daisies and daffodils
Roses and carnations
Poppies and sunflowers
Reach for the stars
Reach for the sun.

What’s your favorite color?
I want to know everything
That I don’t know about you.
Where did you get your middle name?
Where were you born?
I don’t mean to intrude,
It’s just I want to learn
About you.
I want to learn
You.

Am in the cloak of darkness.
I hate it when I
Find light in darkness
I feel recharged when I
Am enveloped by darkness.
I cannot help but die a little when I
Find a bit of kindness.
I celebrate when I
suffer greatly.
I think it is horrible to
Lead a wonderful life.
I think I should be sentenced to
An eternity of suffering.
I think no one should experience
Pure happiness and joy.

Questions are dancing in my skull.
So many
So many more.
Inquiry
Is my best friend
But if curiosity
Killed the cat
I’ll be dead
Soon enough.

Longing
For
Something
I
Will
Never
Have.

So
Obscure
I
Don’t
Even
Know
What
I’m
Looking
For.

Where are you?

We poets
Are very dramatic.
Rose colored glasses
Could be our logo.
Life is never just life,
But is this entire story that just HAS to be written.
We write
Like it’s the only thing
Keeping us alive,
A ring buoy
In a torrential sea, wave after wave.
Our need to express
Is so intense
That sometimes we make up stuff
Because reality fails to offer
The inspiration we desperately need.
We are dramatic.
We are creative.
We can sometimes be exhausting
And overly excited
And sometimes
We may embellish
Just a little bit.
But most of all,
We poets are freakin’ awesome!

Calm down.
Think.
Use your brain.
Take deep breaths.
Don’t get overwhelmed.
Don’t stress yourself out.
It’s easier than you think it is.
I have been told
These things all my life.
Are they right?
I’m not sure.
I don’t always agree
But they might be right.
I think I am too opinionated
To determine whether or not they are right.
Maybe I am inadequate for not
Being able to do these things.
Maybe I am wrong.
Maybe everyone else is right and I am wrong.

I feel like
At best
I am a roller coaster.
I fluctuate
Like the relationship status
Of my Aunt Meredith.
Just kidding.
I don’t have an aunt named Meredith.
But the thing is,
I’m happy,
Then I’m sad,
Then confused,
Because I don’t know
Why I am sad.
I’m excited
And disappointed
And skeptical.
I am altruistic
And egotistical.
Fluctuations:
The story of my life.

She cut
And cut
And dug
Deep inside her skin.

But all
That ever poured out
Was ink
Flowing night.

Toss
My heart aside.
Like trash
You don’t think of me
As trash
Right?
Yet you throw
Everything I’ve given you-
Everything I tried to give-
Away
Into the garbage.

Where are you
When I need you?

I am your future.
You are my past.
Walking past,
Like I am just another person.
But your eyes flicker toward me.
A half of a second,
Not even.
But that’s all it takes.
We are each other’s time.
You are mine.
I am yours.
Time passes.
Our hands touch as we brush past.

I have a fairly great life.
I am one of the group of fortunate people
Who get to go to school
Who have a kind family
And a roof above my head.
I should be thankful.
I am.
But I’m mostly sad.
I am always afraid of what may happen,
Which probably will inevitably happen
Because life does that sometimes.
I feel like because I am fortunate
I should be happy.
But it’s so dang hard for me to be happy.
I don’t understand it.
Sometimes I wish I was diagnosed with depression
Because then at least
I would have an excuse.
I would have an explanation.
But instead I am left with a sadness
That I can’t explain.
I don’t deserve to be this sad.
My life is awesome.
I don’t have a chemical imbalance in my brain.
I’m pretty sure I got a good amount of serotonin in me.
It’s just me.
But if it’s so easy,
Then why is it so hard?

The world is so weird.
These trees keep on waving at me,
And the wind is whistling while it works.
But seriously,
The world is so weird!
Like
Why is the sun beaming at me?
How can a sun beam?
Does it even have a face?
How can a moon have a face?
Gosh, the world is so WEIRD!

Why do I keep messing up?
They say that making the same
Mistake over and over again
While expecting different results is insanity.
Maybe I am insane.
Because I sure as heck are making the same mistakes
Over and over again.
I don’t think
I expect different results though.
I think I have given up
On ever getting a good result.
Sometimes
I am doing well,
And I learn from my mistakes.
But I can never keep it for long
And I make the same mistake again.
I can’t be correct for more than three weeks.
Maybe I am a wrong person,
Because I cannot not make mistakes.
Everyone else
Make mistakes.
I am sure of this.
But their mistakes are small and trivial.
I mess up big things, like relationships.
Because that is messing up others.
This is why I need to be alone.