No, I don't feel happy
I don't think I ever did
I used to be an Angry Young Man
Now I'm just a grumpy old ***
I think​ that discontentment
Is all there is in life
We are unhappy being single
Then we're ******* with the wife
If we were always happy
And all we knew was bliss
There would be no need for drugs
And we wouldn't get ******
So to protect the trade of dealers
And of the breweries too
We should accept unhappiness as our lot
Well, what else can we do

Her hands held on to
His fingerprints on
The other side of the glass
Window that divided them

Left her longing for
A moment to grasp
And cherish him and her
And what they never were

And while she watched
His back turn to her
She conquered the familiar
Sense of holding back

And with her fingers she wrote
The words in the dust he left
On the window. She whispered
“Look back and see” I love you

you reap what you sow
cast off your shadow
and call the roll
see who shows up
love is a lady with tiny fingers
and sweet smelling clothes
and beauty that lingers
cantankerous old men with cataracts
drown upon the folds
of your wedding gown
i am that fabric that comes in a roll
and if you inhale
the diamonds will follow
remove veils and teach the people music
give your wisdom and produce harmony
wild candy and replenishment
reprimanded only by tyranny

i wish that your heart would never stop beating
i am speaking personally again
i am a well behaved child
i smile when necessary
i feel deeply
i am uncomfortable in your presence
i am an example of fundamental tendencies
i am deeply distrusting
i am relatively harmless
i am violent and psychotic
i am punished by silence
i am a mumbling scientist
i am retired
i am desired
i am abundant and prosperous
i am light and bright like phosphorous

possums speak of possibilities
as i peak behind the curtains
and sense what a chilly week its been

roaming through the desert of a foreign land
blood on my hands
armor made from the pieces of sand
bleeding out
unable to shout
there are no echos
or other lifeforms to hear my pleas
dying of thirst
i drop to knees

until behold

a shadowy figure looms over me
holding a canteen
smiling ferociously

unable to speak
desperation fills my eyes
eyes dried up not able to cry

no empathy
a statue of apathy
with a slow stare
you vanish right past me

I saw that girl
That looks like you
The other day.

The one that was a freshman
When we were seniors.
The one who made me catch my breath
When I passed her in the hall.
Because I saw your face
In hers.

I would think
Always for a second
"Oh my god Alex!".
And remember that
It's not you.

I saw her last week
When I went out to dinner
With my parents.
And there you were
In my mind all night.

I'm telling you this
Because I never got to tell you
While you were still here
That you and I
Had much more in common
Than I ever thought.

I felt that pain too,
Yanno the kind of
Nausea and heartache
Of having your sense of self
Burned to ashes
In a few minutes.

I wish I could have
Told you
That I was in pain too
And that if we could
Hold on for one day at a time
We'll be okay

Two years tomorrow,
Alex.
God knows we all wish
We could have saved you,
But I think you saved me.

There are better things to cry about
But somehow it's always you

Let your roses be darker than blood
Let your chocolates leave a taste in my mouth
Let your words be engrained in my memory
Let your heart lie with me eternally