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Eli Apr 2020
I feel dead,
Trick-or-treating inside my head,
Getting the tricks instead...
Eli Apr 2020
I am hungry.
If it weren't for toxicities,
I'd swallow the change in my pockets.
Will I ever fill myself?

My expansions seem to be dimming.
I will remain empty forever.

My neglect is my biggest regret.
I argue and I am prone to loss.
I neglect my stomach like I neglect myself
Eli Apr 2020
I hate myself
Everything about me
I hate myself
I'm not who I want to be

I'm too skinny
I'm too weak
I'll never find peace
I'll never reach my peak

Why don't I end it?
Because I'm a ******* coward
That's obvious...

You pathetic *******
You are a liar
Like your moms brother
You small little bug
Hiding from the others

No shell
Pure hell

No one cares for your heart
No one ever did from the start
They'll never have a part
No one ever did from the start

When will I try?
Will I wave goodbye
To the demons and skeletons ruining my life?

I'm not smart
I'm not alright
I just want my guts
To lay down and die

Kurt, I see your pain
That you gain
Hard to restrain
Nothing remains

We are all born to die,
So why do we try?
If we are destined for negative demons to take over our lives
A poem I wrote back in 2017, when my mentality was worse than today tenfold
Though it will forever be a struggle, my mindset is far better now
The name came from my presumption that I would in fact **** myself, but it's now a reminder that this isn't me anymore
Eli Apr 2020
When I sleep,
And lose the wish to wake,
Take me down with your Precipice Blades.

It's super effective,
Because I am electric,
With negative energy when times are hectic.

I don't know where to ******* spill it.
Eli Apr 2020
I grew up with the idea that you aren't supposed to love yourself
Who taught me this?
Myself

Why do I find it so stonelike to obey and cooperate with my literal self?
I'd rather be liquid
So I can freeze my intentions into place and melt it as I choose
I'm not on the best terms with myself
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