Are you modern poetry and am I translating you
can I run my fingers ever so slowly until I remember you so well
that from your skin I can craft an alphabet
are you
life so exquisite and voluptuous
that I cannot get away from you without wanting to write you ****** free verse or an ode to your blades of grass
a sonnet to your beloved sea so pristine when it glistens
that instantly I fall back in love

what about it does not make me weak at the knees? You just keep surprising me.

How is it life that I came to you ?How did I get this lucky?

What is birth and death as I hold them ? Are you really in between them ?
or have you always been there ?

This beautiful teeming orbit is not ours to take care of
it is us
“We breathe together”
it is inseparable
you and I
, it –our fate the same

I want life to flourish
and so earth must sing
i want a shift
a second coming of a loving consciousness
not as some man or some messiah (stop limiting divinity to human figure)
but to have us recognize it in the entirety of life in its miraculous omnipresent light that indeed does shine permeating all

The air is still fresh and the cooing of the birds is slowly becoming more audible.
The gleaming of the fluorescent lights is just as bright as the one outside. It’s doesn't matter whether you are inside or you are outside –near you there is always light.

Brown is the color you get when you mix all the others together
So they never know where I am from

I am the resident brown person.
The closest skin that tans
that’s who they think I must be

Your children play with modeling clay, play doh, and with different colored squishy slime.

When you put them to bed, take as many colors as you can from their play box and knead them together and you’ll understand why my skin is brown.

And maybe you won’t have to ask where I am from two, three or four times only to still refuse what is obvious
So obvious they forgot to put it in history books

When you enslave, colonize, migrate
You mix
The coalescence and coagulation of blood into human skin
This  should be of no surprise
you mix
Brown children on the back of white mothers, brown children on the backs of black fathers
Brown children tied to the curve of brown womyn’s backs

So do you understand why America is a brown womxn, too?

And if he does not feel the same
I would understand
but I needed to be brave
because it means so much to me
he means so much to me
everyone has got their things( their no to great traits)
but i don’t need someone to put on a pedestal that is not what I am asking for

I am asking to see you further for who you are

I wan to laugh,
throw off my hat
wave my scarf in the air
and just be languid and in awe
with how my legs can carry all my weight
and how my heart can pump all that blood

and just be reflective and impressed
with the way life tears down all superiority even "moral superiority "
to teach, teach, teach  there is no superiority
and how rhythm is integral not just to music but to words
just like freedom is integral to the shaman, the preacher,
the guru, and the person soaking up their verse

If I don’t fit there
I don’t, and there

I want to slide through the round pebbles
make my way softly through the terrain

If I don’t fit there
I don’t

onto the sweet nourishment of true belonging  
the corner, the lives, the dress and pair of jeans that I don’t fit into
I just don’t, and that’s that

onto loving things
onto the possibility of a hand on the ***** of my back and connections that warm the hearth of my soul
onwards with the search for true belonging

if I don’t fit I don’t
and there

I hope we get something better. The world is always beautiful and surprising I hope there are more  joyful moments on our separated roads.
deep down I know it will be so :)

Ideally, what would you like to be?  

At this point in time, I would like to be a leaf or better yet a slow moving tree
–firmly rooted and pacing through the rich moist soil.

And you see things for what they are
and instead of letting it break your heart
or decide to run on the hamster wheel , ride the many Ferris wheels or rollacoasters of distractions
you choose to laugh in delight because you are Human
endowed with the gift of creating  alongside that which moves through you
and gave you life
and you know you can add what you see lacks
so smile not because someone told you to girl but because you have realized you’re as mighty as any other who has graced this world
Go on if you would like and  make somethings beautiful as an offering

You see things for what they are
ever changing 
 always flowing eternally towards the infinite
you need no one to tell you this    just close your eyes (feel it)
or wait
time will try to cocoon you, over and over
in an attempt to deliver you to the infinite
you will get there
in due time
for now rejoice in your humanity

Because there is love
there is you

Because you burn bright
there will be her and him

there will be trees and there will be flowers

and on earth hope will persist

You will inherit the world
I know so

This is the age of draughters
I understand this truth

"Renaissance", "Enlightenment"
"________"they will find a name for this era, too

my chest is like the ocean
the things that are right for me
float up like small plastic ***** to the surface
but
i feel
confused
when you float up
from the depths
you make me hesitant
of ever trusting my gut again
“can i get a new gut?” i think to myself
this one is acting up
because the buoyancy of your  name
wakes me at odd hours of the night

every earthly moment seems beautiful and fleeting when it trickles like the light through a window to illuminate your smile

as passing mourner and expectant mothers are en route the same sun drapes them and a similar ephemeral breeze grazes my face

all is precious and the heart cannot help but to exalt this truth when rays slowly make their way to the edge of your chin before they disappear

"I choose spirit
the all-encompassing" I remind myself

I do not need to pack nice dresses
or many pairs of shoes
I do not need to take the rings
or earrings
not even the bracelets engraved with my name
I do not need to take books, old journals or certificates

I do not need to be what I have been
unless it submerges me deeper
into this sea that resides amongst my floating ribs
unless it guides me
down past the twilight zone and into the enveloping darkness
of the midnight aphotic zone where I can find
what the anglerfishes feed on/ what gives life when the warm light of the sun cannot follow
and plummet
like my will further down



until it can pierce through the veil of the material world

until I come back to this room as an angler fish and feed off the cocktail dresses and light  the dark deary rooms of the old home I grew up in with bioluminescent bacteria and have no need for shoes or jewels

I accepted your invitation
and so I stretch my hand out to you
together, you through me
will dance in this world of form

I humbly without any doubt entrust
my hands to you and And when it is all done
I know you will gently set it down

I am on a documentary dive
the way I dived in bars or went on pub
crawls

I am all in and after two glasse of champagne baby I want to cut my hair
I want slick Bob on this frizzy curly mane
of mine but I wait for Friday

Friday night when you are home and we can have three drinks each and sunk together I  will have the same recurring thoughts of a shorter cut to maintain the coolness on this hot humid summer night
and I will let you cut and the next we will wake up and go to the hair dresser where they will cut three more inches off my head of hair

with the grass below my feet and the cooling wind
blowing away the heat
I came to sit under a little tree
trying my best not think about  "later today" or "in a minute"
I had held onto the notion of time so tightly this year
that every time a plan was pried out of  my arms
I did more than cry

I slouched
I cursed
I became a flagging runner with a mile to go
an archer's arrow still far from its mark  

so today as I mediated
I could sense them
ants beginning to run up my legs
and into the forest of hair between my thighs
I was present enough–
I jumped up and shrieked
then I laughed

a friend sitting near me laughed too
I wondered if they had ants crawl up their legs too

The hardest thing by far is
lovingly letting go
I smile and I cry at same time
I am joyful and in sadness simultaneously

My eyes well up and I not sure why anymore

You sleep in the next room tenderly
splayed out like an elegant silk dress

while I sneak  out of bed to write poems
in dim oven light

tomorrow we will see Jung Seob Lee paintings, I haven’t told you why I want to go
(He reminds me of you)

The past has swiftly receded into its bed of intangible form and the future rests eyes closed,still to be awakened

Let them like children rest
without being disturbed

Today belongs to your limbs, to your breath pouring life and presence into your being.
Today is here, lids open,
eyes which become your own
Life sinking back into everything around you
Appreciate, knowing that even the small things are of value, are of worth.

I read through a box of old letters, old emails,
“old” said from my mouth sounds cleansing
feels like Saturday cleaning
greasy oil over a iron cast giving
way to dark rivers until finally
they run clear

an old me rises for the words
and I run to hug her
“you are so sweet” I tell her

“better love is coming” I want to blurt out
as cheesy and as intense as a first love
a young teen gets
like parting gift of encouragement I want to squeeze her and deliver my message
But, I stop for fear she continue to wait
some sad dark haired Rapunzel

Becoming a jamless  lover of jam waiting for a jar of guava jam when she’s got a whole guava tree in her front yard. she has just got to pick them from  her own tree ,and cook her guavas over her own stove

Ciertas cosas son seguras
cómo el calor del asfalto
sobre cadera
arenada

cómo la agua tibia en la piscina al atardecer
cómo la tierra a su alrededor que recuerda la calor así te recuerdo a ti

cosas conocidas enlazadas
cómo si todavía estuvieran costado a costado presente las arenas del pasado

the line is long and only continues to get longer
there so many mouths to feed and this food bank
does it have enough ?
are there hymns for the hungry
like the ones the protester sing in Portland as they march tonight

Are you conscious of the power
your thoughts and words have to create

when you awake dear
do you say thank you, too

do you like excessively warm showers
do your toes turn red as you stand there, too
?

and have you learned to pray even if you do not call it by that name

Do you meditate
do you see divinity in everything
can you see god–the all– in the swaying of the leaves
have I met you

I am here
alive at the same time as you

you can come in dream if you wish

No,
I am
Gentle.

We went surfing as a team of five
out into the water helping each other know when to catch a wave

we floated over the waves
and we fell often,
I fell often
always just 3 feet from the shore
everyone kept trying
and we cheered for each other each time one of us rode a wave

and every-time the waves were too strong that it knocked one of them over like rag doll
I saw their head emerge again from the water their arms reach for their boards
we failed together many times
but still we stuck together
in their bruises a similar purple to the one in mine

When will there be no table
just people gathered in a circle

You choose your path, no need for explanations, no need for apologies
there is no right or wrong way to live
as long as the soil nourishes then life will flourish

My greatest humanely wish is that I never lose my ability to accept discomfort that I hold it close so that I can make way for the new. I want my mind to continue to be renewed and to continue to be opened so discomfort is the song my heart sings to woo change into world

I saw a beautiful man in his late 50’s
with his curtain bangs and his shoulder  length white hair that contrasted
with his tan brown skin

the creases below his eyes looked like holy mountains
And around his lips and under his mouth a thin three day beard let itself  awaken over his chin as well

But the two most beautiful things about him were the glistening of his eyes and the field of calm that surrounded him

I stood up and said “ hello, I want to tell your hair is so beautiful. I am growing mine”and pointed towards my three strands of white hair. He smiled and chuckled a little and said thank you with with a spanish accent.

He reminds me of my uncles, my cousins and the old pictures of my grandfathers.  So beautiful his long white hair.


How beautiful, how I long to remember
when my own set of hair becomes an enveloping white sea against my skin

my palms can grasp the calm rocks adjacent
to you. they are sturdy granite; they have ancestors
too like you and me. This fiery ball of earth cooled and created
these rocks. my sturdy world was built from an inferno of lava cooling. i wait
for humanity to cool, too -end its wars.  For our continents to melt together and create not just subduction zones, where granite
and granodiorite cool deep down in the crust,
but a world culture where we are encouraged
to live without exploiting
the earth and each other. Grateful
because this grip on this life is temporal
oh how more soothing its breezes becomes
when you are aware and can feel it  
hear the heart of life buzzing off with the pulsing
bee and drop onto the pistil
of a flower. This world is no more than pollen.
The wind carries this mighty dust and harvest starts
not just in the fields but in our fertile hearts

You are lovely
Have I ever told you?
Or have it kept it tucked within the two corners of my smile when the thought of you arises

wholesome love sits here
in the many "may's"
in the hope for what can be cultivated
and in the hope of what can come about

in the staircase of thoughts
and in the apex of

              /\          \               /     /\  
            / s \          \   self  /     / s  \
          /  elf \          \  lo- /     /  elf  \
        /      -    \          \ve/     /  -acce \
      /   value  \           \/     / ptance  \
                            
                      
            
stacked up against each other in the form a trapezoid

               \            /\           /
                 \solid/&\stro-/  
                  \    /  ng \     /
                    \/            \ /

we share mantras her and I, sisterly maneuvering through this life

"We want to feel better" & "we want to be better",
...and so we set about finding the right equations
stacking meditations upon visioning upon affirmations upon counseling upon books of poetry, and teary-eyed artworks that carry our twisted knots that do not undo with words or the spitting out of crunched up syllables onto the ground

so we make shapes, some geometrical like the ones above

There is warm serene tug at the center of my chest, and I wondered
what is calling out to me at this moment.

I am an audacious
little bodied gal
when spirit calls
I leap
I close my eyes
and my earth bound body
soars

Aveces me enamoro de los puentes
fácil y fatalmente frecuento lagos de ideas
en esos charcos anchos me gusta salpicarme en el <<quien habrá caminado estos rumbos con solo tiempo como el factor de lejanía entre nos >>

I walk across the overgrown grass and scattered patches of wild flowers with her by the hand
we are going to take a walk together
her small palms are warm
her heart she believes is as big as a dog’s  heart
and she believes her dog is a superhero
who will live forever

I walk with her and promise not to leave her. I kneel down, look her in the eye  and promise to choose her that I will no longer entertain friends, acquaintances or anyone who does not hold her, respect her and see that her feelings and her life matters, too.

I will walk with her, and only those who embrace her with care can embrace me. We will walk and only those who wish to see us and are not ashamed to be seen with us, not ashamed of caring for us
only those who would proudly say they love us with words and with simple gestures will be allowed to come near her

At the end of woods, there is a small path that we will thread and when she is scared and feels responsible for someone else’s thoughts of her, I will remind her that each person must sow their garden of love.

Tell her we are heading toward our garden, planting— that we are walking down the path of lightness and forgiveness and we have no time to stop and take in the illusions of the world. I will tell her we going up to higher ground and only those who dare traverse the depths of their heart with honesty will meet us there

Awareness’s long encompassing skirt fits well and I twirl and run with it. spring  is here and my heart rejoices and I want to close my eyes and soak up the sun
how wonderful it is
how we all rise and regardless of yesterday and can pick the street we turn on
there is no road where life has not been
I hold the evidence in a book and I hear it through the music of others and I am calm and I am happy to be a human being even if its not eternally

First he pretends not see Lily. Then, she comes near. And he says “Away Lily”
“Shoo Lily” and she responds with calm “ but you howled so I came”. He pauses tucking his fangs

I am being stretched and little parts of me are ripping off

but I want to, I want to grow
even if it’s not always pleasant

I want to be a womxn after her own soul
i want my authenticity far more, for I fear
I cannot compromise these lengthy rivers in me
they span too wide
and some too deep 
flowing rapidly down steep mountains
and over vast stretches of land
flooding plains, but also paradoxically
in arid climate nurturing seedlings

Hay tantas cosas que el sol trae con ella,
y la luna con el

desafíos, y copas ondas de cuales beber
figuras largas y ángeles de piel morena
himnos cotidianos: la moledora moliendo tomatillos

cucharadas de juzgamiento
y jarabes de verdad purpuros y casi sabios
La sobreviviencia del alma al enfrentar
degradación
Y la cara de un perro al olfatear una rata muerta

Todo bajo el cielo, es puro y a la misma vez  teñido  

La flor es la extensión de la piedra, el viento uno más de nuestros suspiros
sea en angustia o en alivio

All I ask is that you carry me through this season how you have carried me through this living
Always opening the right doors always filling me with light because I am need of a gentle hand that knows how sooth blisters
perhaps it is my left hand returning to greet  my right with balm and gauze
but I ask of ye to aid their swift embrace of me

to be this is a privilege some write, and I agree

to be this that lives
and breathes
is a gift

I sat there
looking out the window
as vulnerable
and as frail as any other living creature
with my wounded feet covered in bandaids
with black chipped nails
with spongy untamed hair
undeceiving

it is a privilege Campbell
to sit here bare as I am
truly it is

be today’s love child, look
out the window or put down
the glass screens, all seconds yearn
for you, moan for sweet attention
and you yearn for every single
one of them, too
so deep is your yearning
that you hush it with reproach
like you would a neighbor’s dog
barking outside

But it’s your dog
so it’s right outside your window
and the years of wishing
your were someone else
have not neutered
your own desire to return
to the arms of the present
instead you too begin to bark
your desire unyielding

Be gentle with all the things you love.
Each one is precious and delicate and can’t be handled harshly.

Be merciful to all the things you love. Each one travels their own dark skies and holds in them fear. Feed in them love

Be a keeper of the light
a guardian for the beautiful things within your own heart