I've began to wonder if I've asked too much from you, from the ones before you.
My family thinks I'm strong.
But I'm nothing without any of you. I have become nothing through all of you.
Nonexistence in the nooks and crannies of your hearts and souls.
I make you happy though, right?
And so, I leech off of your happiness.. therefore, I'm happy.
Still, the child in my dreams tells me I am undeserving of your love, I am undeserving of the love I've received in the past, I'm selfish, and I have no one to blame but myself for losing sight of who I am, and who I wanted to be when I was innocent.
You deserve something better than nonexistence, you deserve existence and everything that comes after.

But how can I do it?

How can I?

Can I do it..?


Please, God.. tell me I can.

The future is the hipbone of our relationship. I try my best to enjoy the moments we have together now, but they're so few and far between. So I look to the future, but the unknowingness doesn't bring me any solace.
Thinking of the future isn't working either, but that's the only place that I can think of where we don't have to hide.

Maybe we aren't meant for each other, whatever that means, but I still want to be with you.
Whether fate or god pre-ordained it.
I will protest god and fate kicking and screaming.
And even if I lost you, my love for you would never fade..