Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
  Oct 2021 Ash Young
softcomponent
There are little pieces of yourself on the kitchen counter.

You find it in your soul to blink and look away,

wiring it all in writing for posterity,

because ink can draw outlines, maybe a little piece of you

will float back.


part of you hopes not,

as if there were

one thing you promised

you'd never do.
  Feb 2021 Ash Young
Ashly Kocher
I may not be exactly where I want to be but where I’m going is where the adventure will await me
Ash Young Feb 2021
I started a new kind of therapy yesterday.
EMDR,
Trauma therapy.

I didn't even realise I had PTSD until I read the emergency referral form.

and when the therapist asked me to tell her about my safe place - real or imagined - how could I say it was within the arms of a girl I chose to say goodbye to?
I couldn't. So I described the ruins where she first said 'I love you', and I hoped there was enough safety in those crumbling walls to shield me from all the hurt.
Ash Young Feb 2021
why do i only feel alive when im toeing the line of death
Ash Young Jan 2021
when the anxiety of being around someone becomes so strong that your stutter blocks your words like it did when you were 7, its time to let go.

when a texting screen makes you run to the bathroom and spit out bile because every word that you want to type is wrong somehow; its time to let go.

when you realise that being with her has become a reason to welcome the hunger that's killing you (and when you have convinced yourself that that's the version of you she wants, despite having no evidence to back it up); its time to let go.

when the notes page on your phone has more drafted breakup messages than it does shopping lists; its time to let go.

when you've lost your poetry because every line inside of you has frozen in fear of no longer being a lyric of love; its time to let go.

when every thought of letting go is fuelled by external anxieties, its not the right time, it must be done in person, it will hurt her and that will be your fault, deal with the pain. deal with the fear. putting yourself first makes you abusive. makes you no better than the ones that hurt you; I'm sorry, but its time to let go.

it will hurt. it will teach you every intricacy of torture. you will know how it feels to be stabbed in the sternum and there will be no culprit to blame. but its time to let go.
send the message. its time.
Ash Young Nov 2020
He doesn't know if you can hear him,
doesn't know if he wants to be heard.
Can you see him?
He's right there. Right there in the chasm that used to be a forest, now
-
a crater
-
what remains after something detonates.
He isn't an explosion.
He's the dust that comes after,
the left-overs after everything living
evacuates.

the Ashes no longer burning.
Don't look too close. He doesn't want to be seen.
not anymore, not like this.
Next page