You gaslight me into insanity
I’m not flattered by your vanity
Truth from distortion
You can’t deceive me
It takes a shattered mind to see
A white rose bleed.
Don’t you wonder
Don’t you sonder
First step possession
Second step control
Third violence
Don’t manipulate
Don’t guilt
I’ll hurt you more
sink my teeth in deep,
quench out the fluids in your brain
You won’t sleep.

He flapped his gums
Spewing sore words
That came not from the heart
But the depths of delusion
We were not kindred souls
I don’t believe you could understand
But our tongues forbid to belong twisted.

A year ago today I tried to take my life
Placed rocks on my body
To stop me from floating
Looking up to the surface hoping
I’ll go quick
But each second felt like a minute.
Sunk, fearless.
Listening to the pipes
Underwater I thought I’d hear less
But my thoughts were louder than ever.
They blocked out the sounds of my brother crying to my dad over a broken toy
I couldn’t do this to them,
They need me more than I need myself.  
I guess I’ll live another day.
But my thoughts are so loud.
Static.

I keep replaying the same moment in my mind
Your hand stroking my hair
I never felt so much comfort and happiness
And I’m losing you
And I keep, replaying the same moment.
And collapsing, and breaking down,
Nauseous. Because I won’t feel it again.

I’m a hostage to the abyss
Of torrent seas
I can’t find my feet
I can’t touch the ground
I’m struggling to breathe
Give me your hand
Or look me in the eye
Save me from this,
Ignite my fire.
You’ll hear the chime my eyes glow hollow
The black waves shallowing
The ink from your tail I’ll follow.

Devil linger in my skin
Crawl up my spine
Your fingers down my throat
Your hand gripping my thigh
You’re so far but feel so close
You’re a fly I can’t get rid of
I’m wrapped in thorns
But you chose to cut the flowers
You made me feel ugly
Waiting outside for hours
I’m wrapped in barbed wire
But you chose to cut my wings.

I’m staring into his eyes
Wishing they were yours
It makes me want to cry
Cause it never will be
You’re so special and I hate it
I hate you so much
And I wish you would let me go
Because I just can’t leave
I can’t bear this
Sleepless nights and never emptying plates
It’s what you and your eyes do to me.