There are many firsts,
a first date.
A sloppy wet first kiss.
A first boyfriend or girlfriend.
Things you wish you could store up in a snowball.
To trap them in a place where time has no power.
Still. Frozen. Kept like figurines.

Time seems stretched out like a string,
Taut and endless, spiraling into knots and tangles.
We take what we can get.
It might be the last smile on our face.
Happy ever after,
Or the end of all we know.

So many lasts sprinkled like salt on salads,
The last time you ever saw a loved one's face.
Last time you loved.
It could be the last heartache,
But you would never know.

Time is but a lifeline to present and past.
It can be snatched right out of your hands.
Gone as fast as lightning,
Too powerful to contain in any vessel.
Time can be everything and also nothing.

It takes baby steps
to fall out of love
yet falling in love is fast
like a rollercoaster ride
going with the waves
up and down.

you can't unknow someone
whose very essence is burned
into the depths of your soul
can't forget the one
who fills your every waking thought.

I want to unlearn every lesson
forget the bad memories
learn to let go of the pain
discover who I am and who I can be without you.

Winding round the hill
Following the paved road.
As it takes twists and turns
Sometimes changing abruptly
Along came a speeding truck
A little too fast on the road
Swerving with the curves
Threatening to crash.
I am but a little girl
Taking a well known path
One that leads me home
Each and every day.
If only I stick to the side
And make way for joggers
And cyclists.
Walking and walking home.

How just is justice?

little children are orphaned
Mothers lose their little ones
a jury is asked to give verdict.
Prove
beyond reasonable doubt.
Not even a hint of uncertainty.
An aggressive defense,
the guilty made a victim ;
Framing, hearsay, lies.
the snake will stoop so low
Perjury without a fear.
Taking away mercy.
Laughing at the easy win
Mocking the legal system.
At most ten years,
mayhaps less for good
Behavior, a pat on the back.

I have come to the end of time
where lines blur and fade
where sand grains dissolve
and the hourglass is clear.

This is the end of the road
where footsteps disappear
trodden paths interlink
trampled grass remains
where do I go from here?

In the past sorrow bestowed
a lingering embrace on me.
kept me in her clutches
made me weep.
The future is uncertain
like a weight on a pendulum
swinging back and forth
sorrow,joy,loss,gain,light,dark
I am but suspended in between.

He walked away from me,
Right there at the altar.
Had his eyes glued to someone else.
It broke my heart, broke my soul.
I was lost in time unknown.

She was pretty and petite,
Seemed to have it all.
Why did she need you too?
A mere trophy to show off.

Wish I could beg you to come back
Hold me one more time.
Somehow i still need you.
Even as i lie here broken.

Lying in my bed late at night,
And my thoughts feel strange,
Knocking against each other in a scramble to get away.

6 months ago, I lost my way.
I fell for you and it's never been the same.
I lie to myself that it was 6 months,
But really it's been longer.

100,000 miles away from everything,we met.
At a friend's place when you came by.
I remember forgetting to think when I saw you.
I blocked you out cause I couldn't have you.

I fell when I saw you first.
Keep wondering when I will see you last.
You're too good to be true,
I can't seem to stop loving you.
Believe me I have tried.
Cause you scare me.
With how I lose myself when you hold me,
And how I can't stay mad at you.
You tease me into smiling at you.
And never let me go.

100,000 miles away from you tonight,
I hear the raindrops on the rooftop.
It sounds like you too far away,
Faint and insistent.
I want you here in my bed.
Your bed reminds me of the last thing we were good at.
My bed feels too big without you.

You're so far away.
When all I want is to hold you.
Whisper in your ear how much I love you.
We have been through milestones together.
100,000 ways we could have broken up.
But you say you want to stay.
I know I couldn't go on without you.
We could walk 100,000 miles to make this work.
Just don't ever walk away, I love you.

that's true
apart of me is afraid
I can only be myself with you
let the ugliness out
not have to pretend to be
angelic,sweet, perfect
cause am broken
scarred and imperfect.

What if I can only be happy
lying in your arms?
and leaving you will hurt me
day after day after day
crush my spirit
burn my will to live
I don't want to be alone
not now,not when am old.

you bring out the best in me
and also the worst in me
I can't breathe without you
am claustrophobic
feeling my chest pressing me in
taking my life out of my hands.

If you love me follow me
even when I run don't let me
cause am lost without you.
hopeless,aching, weary.
write me a song
buy me roses
sweep me off my feet
be my prince charming
just show me you want me
all be alright
as long as you love me.

He says he will leave her
His wife of ten years
and mother of his sons.
That it isn't working anymore
he would rather be with me.

I believe him.

Maybe am young and naive
Or just plain desperate
but I want this man
the one that wants me back.
I said I couldn't share
He said he wouldn't dare
His lawyer would see to it
That I would be the heir.

He lied.

Today I saw them together
Hand in hand on the streets
You don't kiss your ex in public
Or grab her ***,
Am no fool nor am I gullible
He just wanted two for one special.

Am mad.

He has to pay for this
making me think I had him
Luring me into his web
Now am wiser and meaner
With a plan up my sleeve
walked up to her and said
I know about the tattoo
The one on his ***.
Her eyes went ice cold,
A marriage over.

Am proud.

I saw him walking alone
Desolate and inconsolable
his house off limits to him
No dignity left
no debauchery
I brought him to his knees.

I found more,
When I walked out of the warmth of your arms into the freezing cold.
I looked beyond you and me,
There were so many other little things to fill up the space.
I tested the boundaries of our love to see if they were real.
I found addiction and obsession, things more powerful than your indifference.
I wanted to be loved singlemindedly, you gave me tolerance.
I lost myself along with you.
In half thought decisions and hasty actions.
I told myself you didn't care.
But why do you look at me with disappointment?
I wanted more but instead I lost you,
You could be everything.

You tell me I am not good enough
A little too round for your liking.
Can't you see my beauty in the curves that grace my body?
I am wonderful to look at and I flaunt it.
You won't see me skinny and bonny.

You say I am too emotional,
Always bickering about the little things.
Its the small things that grace our lives
With pleasure and pain.
Do you notice that I did my eyebrows for you?
So you can see my expressive eyes?
I carry the pain of the world
In my loving heart and sorrowful eyes.

Don't try to change me.
I am everything I need to be.
Proud and humble as a dove,
Perched at the peak of life.
I am who I was meant to be.
A gracious woman.

I feel like i can see
after a moment of sightlessness.
Delighting in the little things
Like an unexpected smile
An all encompassing hug.
It fills me up and i float
On a cloud of meaning,
A little less that i don't know.
If nothing makes sense anymore
At least i can muster a smile.

I want to listen to the wind sing
Dance as it blows the figs and leaves.
I want to fly,
I could almost step off a ledge.
Drawing on strength from within
Absorbing pain from without.

I shudder from the pain of the oppressed
Unable to step out of jail
Shackled to hopelessness
Stuck in a third rate jail.

You hold the key to Destiny
If only you could cut loose your fears
Of failure, rejection and doom.
You need a friend to believe in you,
Share your dreams.
Go out to the highest point you can find
Rage at the world.
I am here! I belong!

The cold permeates my bones
Seeping in and branding me
With loneliness and pain.
Teasing me and aggravating me
With your harsh breeze.
I wish he was here
To hold me and block you out
He makes the loneliness fade
If only for a while.
He makes me alive
With bits and pieces of us
Perfectly fit together.
He whom i will always love.

Its raining anger and betrayal
Hard pelting rain drops
That drown the sound of laughter
I am lost and forlorn.
Seeking shelter under the covers.
This bed feels cold without him.
I remember earlier times
When we crawled under the duvet
And cuddled to keep warm.
I miss his arms around me
Bodies fitted as close as possible.

I don't want to leave this room
Unless he is waiting downstairs
With a warm shrug and hug.
This weather was made for this
Him to hold me close.
So that am not alone.
He always excites me
With his arm draped over my shoulder
I long to rest my feet on his laps
And let him play with my toes.
He makes it impossible to be cold
As i shiver in delight.

It was the way he said my name that broke my layers of resolve not to cry.
I was weak, just like always.
Why did i expect this time to be different?
To hurt less simply cause I didn't want to cry?
It was the seriousness in his voice, I think, which tripped me up.
He really wanted out.
I was desperate, homicidal even.
I didn't want to be alone.
The shadows scared me.
Following me around like a tracker,
I couldn't help a shudder everytime I caught sight of one.
They grew and shrank in seeming unison.
I clutched his robes and begged.
I will do anything, just don't leave me alone.
They might hurt me.
I have lost everything.
Please oh please I don't want to be alone.
My cries fell on deaf ears.
He had turned away, his face like stone.
This was time to pay.

I have been chasing dreams,
Of you and me.
Chasing the ghost of something that could be.
Hoping that somehow, someday,
I will wake up to you again.
Sometimes as i sleep I forget what part is real and what is a dream.
I relive being with you, loving you.
And I wonder if it would always end this way.
Were you always meant to destroy me?
Or did I drive you to this?
Did my dreams somehow escape before I could wake up and watch them come true?
With you, I need a thousand deep breaths before I hope;
That we were real.
That you loved me.
You were my dream catcher.
And somehow you slipped away.

I hate it when you talk down to me.
Relax this and breathe out that.
You need a break, it doesn't matter.
I am not a little child anymore,
Little more than someone to be led,
Down this way, up by the creek.
You can't tell me what to do.
Get some rest, you will be calm tomorrow.
Do I look like I want to be calm?
Stop telling me what to do,
I hate how you sound like a *******.
You make me want to scream.
Leave me to be mad in peace.

And even though things have changed between us,
The love we once felt doesn't fade.
that love, that knowledge... that doesn't go away.
I wish I could unknow every curve of your face,
and every word you half speak then change your mind.
It would be easier if it did go away,
if I could hate you.
Maybe if we had fought more,
if there were hateful words you had said that I could recall in perfect clarity --
ugly words that I could throw at my reflection when I stood in front of the mirror.
See, it's probably my fault you didn't love me enough.
whenever I look at my reflection I wonder what was so wrong with me,
that our relationship fell apart.
That doesn't make it easier to forgive myself.
It might be easier if my heart didn't skip a beat every time I hear your name.

BUT, how many of us can say we did something ******* up for a love that didn't work out?
That we uprooted ourselves and turned into someone else.
I jumped and fell freely and ended up at rock bottom.
But I'm digging my way out one sad movie at a time.
Digging while my eyes sting with tears,
as my hands bleed,
as my clothes tear away.
And I'm trying really hard to not be embarrassed about failing.
It doesn't always work out, I knew that.
That didn't stop my heart from beating to the thuds of hope.
If only you were the one.
If only I could have been what you wanted and compromised some more.

Each time we break up I want to crawl into bed and never get out.
I analyze each part of me,
wondering what didn't fit into a part of you, why it couldn't fit.
I know it couldn't fit into a part of anyone else.
I think about my life,
berating myself at the bad choices.
I wonder if I was wrong -- maybe we weren't so bad?
Maybe that was as good as it gets?
Maybe I asked for too much?
Maybe I'm too idealistic and too crazy and I need to be more realistic and grab a hold of a man that will do.

But no,
I want a man that wants to make me happy.
A man that knows am everything he needs and isn't afraid.
I want you to be ready for me.
Don't run cause we always end up right here.
I want you.
Just you.
It's always only been you.

If you let me love you,
I would make the gods jealous with my adoration.
Write you odes and sonnets from dusk to dawn,
serenade you with whispers of love.

If you let go of your inhibitions,
I could seep into your veins,
like a flood of warmth and desire,
take over your body and mind,
truly make you mine.

You see, I want to possess you,
like something I carved out of bark,
put you on a pedestal and worship you.
For you are truly divine.

Let me be the first thought you have when you wake,
the last if only before you fade.
I can be your world and it's trimmings,
Just say the word and am yours.

You love how I dress up for you
All skin and heels.
Making a pirouette
Striking a pose.
You call me your Muse
Because I inspire naughty thoughts
From the depth of your soul
I drive you crazy with desire
All you want is to hold me tight
and have your way with me
Sometimes I tease you first
Drive you to the edge
I like playing with you
Cause I see how much more
you're dying to have me.

At the precipice we change
And time stops for us
All I want this time
Is a love that can't be contained
One so pure and enthralling
It makes me lose my head.
I want to be swept away on a tide of passion
Lose myself in depths of you
Intriguing and exciting
You hold me close
much closer than before
everytime I walk away
end up closer to you.

Every night at the exact same time,
You toss and turn in your bed.
Sleep eludes your tired eye lids.
Counting sheep knows no victory.
You're alone and heartsick.
Your mind won't leave you alone.
You feel every inch of your bed,
The creases in the sheets too.
It would be much easier if you weren't alone.

You know I will wait here
On the breath of promises
That you made to me
In the cold night air.

         I will wait for you
     On a thousand wings
         Keeping me afloat
    Among the angel voices.

This is a virtual reality here
Where we meet as we please
Each time you choose a different avatar
Adonis, Achilles, Apollo.
Always Virile and breathtaking
You are worth it all and more.

Someday you will return to me
Like summer or winter
For you are my soulmate
Bound to me in truth and hope
one day time will be ours.

It has been 6 years,
since I left.
6 years since i shut off the voices.
I thought silence would drown them,
that solitude would fix me,
that love would prevail.

Today, i gave in.
Returned to the darkness,
and the pain which is an old friend.
Today I am me,
goddess of war and pain.
and lovingly in my demons embrace.

You broke my heart
Actually pulled it out
Looked at and felt it
Warm and quivering in your palms
And squeezed with all your might
Till nothing was left.
I thought you cared
Was lost in your spell
Until you broke it into ashes
I will forever be broken
Unwholesome,unfinished
Because you're so cold
You destroyed me in a flash
You abused my heart
You annihilated me.

I cant stop thinking about you
Maybe in another life
It could have been different.
You and I
Walking hand in hand
Inch by agonizing inch
Along the tightrope twined
With space for only two.
Watching glorious sunsets
Minding nothing but time
Counting how long we have
Wanting so much more.

In another life you would be
Mine as I am yours.
Kiss your lips in the moonlight
Hold you close when we hug
Whisper seductive secrets
in your ear when we aren't alone.
I would give you everything
and love you tenfold too.
Maybe you would share my bed
Give me all of you
And be my forever together.

It's been 10 hours since we broke up,
I still can't bring myself to admit it's for real.
You said you want me out of your life and I didnt even put up a fight.
I simply bowed out and left you.
See am tired of fighting for this;
Of telling you am for real.
Proving myself to you and yet you still question me.
Tired of your interrogations,
Of answering for what I do and say.
I knew you were the one and I gave it all to you.
But I still wasn't enough.
So i guess this is it.
All I have left are regrets.
Gosh I wish I could block you out and the pain.
It's tearing me apart that I cant text you, call you, hug you.
I will always love you.
Just you.
I meant those words.

I packed a box in my head,
With my pain and tears.
I shut it and sealed it,
With strength and resolve.
I left it to gather dust,
From neglect and abandonment.
If I didn't think about it maybe it wouldn't feel real.
Instead the pain burst out through the seams,
The box lay in tatters with the edges of my mind.
You can't feel happiness without pain,
The two are what make you feel alive.

could it be that we were fated
for nothing less than a heroes death?
a fight to the death
with only the best?
no mercy or games
winner keeps their life.

or maybe like romeo n julie
die for a cause;love
but would you really ****
to save a life
or be the man on a ledge
demanding a fair trial
where you arent condemned.

bonnie and clyde had it great
life on the fast lane in banks
but running aint that easy
you cant keep a home and kids
they too couldnt live forever

some people only live to die
pointless painful ends
like watching a rope burn
or walking on fire
could it be that life is empty
but a shell we inhabit for a while
and watch as it is crushed.

You have become an illusion,
Weaving round my senses like smoke,
Curling and drifting, teasing my memories.
Was it real when you laced your fingers through mine?
Squeezed mine as if to reassure me.

I want to bleed out all the things I felt.
Trickles of darkness and hope,
That it would get better.
The days it did get better and i thought it was over.
But we remained in a rut,
Trapped, broken, hurting.

I wish I could push my hand through your chest,
Hammer your heart till you feel again.
Tie you to your favorite memories,
Until you remember what we had.
But forcing you to remember scalds,
Leaving wounds I can't heal.

So am going to write you away,
With words and verse and prose.
Write you to infinity and beyond.
Trap you between pages of a book,
seal your essence in something beyond you.
So I can purge myself of you.

I'm not okay without you,  because missing a moment of you is just too hard,
and because my whole world revolves around you; you could destroy me at any moment.
I keep going through your pictures as fast as my fingers will allow,
partially because I want to kiss your face, frozen in every moment.
and mostly because they're all perfect, and I can't pick just one I adore.
It hurts to see that you were happy before me, but then again you're happy now.
At least that's what I tell myself. You're happier with me.
Yes, it hurts to see you with someone else but that was before me.
I tell myself you're mine now.
That every fiber of you comes alive for me but I don't really believe that.
The notion of true love is romantic but the scientist in me won't believe;
that you never loved before me.
that you could give it all up for me.
That your life came to a stop and I walked right in the middle of it.
The pieces left from all my past selves are aching for you to touch me and love me,
for you to declare you want to make me whole again. They wait for you to fix me.
To pull me close in the center of your world and set me on a pedestal.
for this, I would give up anything. I've laid on my bed every night and wished for you.
everything I've seen since I met you has been a mere shadow of the actual representation.
My eyes are blurred by tears and fears, like what if you're just a dream meant to leave me alone.
I can wipe the tears away, but your memory lingers.it always comes back because it belongs here,
and I feel like I belong in your arms.
I hold on to you and you're tearing me apart.
I would die for you. Not an actual death,
but a little death where every part that knew you won't work without you.
Everyday, I would die, and everyday I do ,because I love you, I always have.
I have loved you not only in this life, but in all the past lives. See i didn't have to learn to love you.
My heart and soul and body were all in sync cause I was made for this;
to give you every part of me the way it was meant to be.
My body fits perfectly with yours like the missing piece.
I am yours, when you hold me. when you kiss me. and when you need me.
A part of me knows I will always be yours.
I was made to love you.

You're the man I could stare at and  say nothing,
because the type of nothing you have means everything.
You could break me over and over, and it always hurts like hell, but each time I heal is for you.
You come with me to my dreams where my soul meets yours.
I think I scare you, by revealing a love your mind could never fathom.
I dream of you,but you are so real you make my chest ache. with things I didn't know I needed,
till I met you. Things I only dreamt of now within my grasp.
I write of you because you fill my soul with words bursting to come out.
I see you and I can't speak, from beauty and pain piercing the insides of me.
I hold it all in and it flows out on paper.
I need you to live, breathe and be.

You make everything in this world matter more than it did, I've never loved  before,
and I've never missed a set of lips so much. That's why I'll always love you.
I do love you, more than anyone could love another, because I fell in love when we met.
I fell in love when you spoke to me and held me, and then I fell in love when you looked into my eyes.
The kind of love I only saw in farytales. I tried to walk away and your gravity pulled me back to you.
I nudged you awake when you slept cause I counted every hour I spent with you.
I fell in love with the way I love you, and a part of me can't give that up.
I fell for every part of you, one at a time, over and over I got ****** into your presence.
I gave myself to you and every part couldn't wait to be yours.
I am yours. Now and forever.

I was your one,You were her two.
It's weird how those things never work out
You are someone's life but you are too busy trying to find someone who makes you feel something. Someone every bit of you recognizes as yours.
Yours to love.
Yours to have.
All yours.
So you take it for granted that your his first thought,
You forget to let him know he is your last thought.
You just don't get that who you love won't love you back.
It's either love or be loved.

I thought it would pass
This enchantment am under.
longing for you everyday
Yearning for something out of my reach.

I drowned it out with music
loud brash beats
Somehow became a melody
slow haunting and nostalgic.
I cried myself to sleep.

How do you live alone
Knowing you can't have love
Cause it's a shameless flirt
Dancing out of arm's reach
Wearing a coy hard to get smile.

I am besieged
by the pain of emptiness
Troubled by the despair of loneliness
for it's you I want
and yet you only appear in dreams
making me wake in a hollow symphony
More alone with the knowledge
Of you're surreal parting.

She always wanted to know
Someone loved her the way she was
Whether slim or overweight
That he would be her mirror
only see what she wanted
And needed to see.

She found him one day
He seemed too good to be true
He knew the right things to say
and exactly what to do.

She lost sight of reality
he built an alternate universe
She only lived in her head
Where he made it safe
She didn't have to venture out
Where anyone would criticize.

It's not healthy to stay too long
In your head where you can do no wrong
her angel was an angel of doom
he led her to her final end
By giving all she asked for.

We all make mistakes
Cause we aren't all knowing
Can't avoid the bumps
Of things foreseen.
It's not to end to lose control
Life can't fit in a box
That you tape and close.
There are ugly ghosts that escape
Like wisps of smoke
etch their way into reality
ruin your dreams and hopes
Tantalise you with whispers
Of what could be.
Allow yourself to live
Forgive yourself for trusting
And keep on loving
With all your heart.

She was good at goodbyes
And he was bad at them.
Together they were one collision away from pain.
And yet somehow when his need met hers.
There was calm inside the chaos.
He was patience incarnate.
She was unconditional love.
The two, a connection so deep.
A feeling in their souls.
That this wasn't meant to be goodbye.
But a hello that never got old.

The pain you feel each day
Keeps building up to a peak
Until everything hurts.
You try to lose yourself
In other people's company.
Sink into a personality
That isn't even your own.
Trying to end the pain
of ten thousand swords.
Words cutting deeper
Than any sharp edged blade.
You said you needed him
To make the pain stop.
You need to draw strength from within
Only you can stop the pain.

Your eyes hold the intensity of a thousand suns,
and when you look at me that way,
like you can't believe am all yours,
it gives me butterflies.
I look into your eyes and am blinded by what I see,
the depth of what you feel for me.
It takes all my effort not to bolt cause I know there is no turning back.
What I feel for you, there is no undoing it.
Its more like something that grew on me and is now part of me.
You cant unravel things like that.
I pray that what I feel won't lead me down the road to hurt and pain.

When you hold me so tenderly and kiss me,
feels like I am going to burn up.
The feelings burn their way down my body,
lighting me up like a flame for you.
You trail your hands gently down my cheek and i get shivers,
Can't you see am burning for you?
you are my sun all molded to fit me like a shadow.

last night i sat at the counter
of the bar you used to like
took one shot too many
watched the door hoping
that you would walk in
tall limber form,piercing gaze
waiting to meet your eyes
beg you to hear me out.

my head began to droop
my friends said not to swoon
someone was watching
if only i could care.
he sent me a glass hoping for a dance
i said no thanks i had a date.

then in you walked
a head taller than all the lads
your gaze caught mine,lingered
and passed to some other girl
I died a little inside and swore
to make you want me back.

danced with a stranger
watched you all the while
saw your eyes flutter and look away
i waltzed closer
spun and put my arms round you
danced your cares away
enchanted you once more

It felt like goodbye when you held me,
Loosely like you didn't crave my warmth.
Your breath was relaxed and you went to sleep as we lay in each other's arms.
You couldn't meet my eye and I knew it was over.
I chocked back my tears hoping you wouldn't feel the sobs racking my body.
You went to sleep so am guessing you missed it.
It felt like goodbye when you watched me leave.
You made no move to hug me or ask me to stay.
The mild confusion in your eyes comforted me into thinking maybe I was wrong.
You didn't say a word though,
I heard goodbye in the silence of the air.
You didn't call and I felt you let go,
In the anticipation of a call that never came,
The sorrow of an expectant heart beating on even after its broken.
I cried and you didn't hear the screams of my shredded sanity.
I felt your goodbye in the love that smothered my hope,
When you didn't say anything.

It's 12 am
I can't sleep
I would rather be outside
in the nice cold air
Watching the stars
Cuddling with you.
The shivers from your kisses
Would eclipse those from cold
You would ask me to stay
I would love being up all night.

We are living on borrowed time
Amidst our fortunes and pain
an extension of the sand
A twist to the hourglass.
We all should have died
When the world ended .
Instead we are statistics
people that survived the fall
Plowing on through daily struggles
Lost in the quest for more
something meaningful.
Life can't be this bland
All hustle and no glory.
Someone wrote us in
And forgot to write us out.
We are merely the forgotten
Holding on to thoughts
That someday the clock
Will bring us to the end of time.

I won't apologize
For things I said to your face.
Neither am I sorry,
For those I never said.
Ideas conceived in half hearted attempts to care,
after one fail top many.
Repeatedly making the same mistakes,
With the same people.
Designs made by the architect,
Or maybe revised for personal gain.

I will not uncry tears that were born
from unbearable pain I could not contain.
Wiping moist eyes with bruised thumbs,
Choking on regrets and convicted half truths.
I wear my tears like a safety belt,
To keep my body in check.

I do not regret knowing this life
That shaped me. Bent me. Built me.
I am pulp and foam,
I was made and not pre existent.
I am new.

I can't tell if we are friends,
I can't tell if we are more.
You hold my hand and walk me home.
You don't hug or kiss me goodnight.
the hours build up to a crescendo
Where am with you.
I long to be with you more.
You text me goodnight,
And it stretches out to hours.
Where none wants to let go.
I study you when you're not looking.
Does he secretly want more?
Should i cross the threshold?
But you go on taking midnight walks with me,
And talking into the wee hours.
You keep your distance,
Nothing fazes you.
You asked me today,
What i wanted in a guy.
Am still rewriting that.

I want to create something new
           from dust and ashes.
A masterpiece never before seen
            not a copycat idea.

Everyone dreams of greatness
            to be the best in a field.
But there isn't room for more
             not every star shines the same.

There are the natural ones
            Already shining
                    Bright.
Those that you have to peer
     Into the sky for a while.
   Lose yourself in thoughts
Find your hopes and dreams
see where you are meant to be.

Every new creation and idea
Was there in the beginning
                  Smaller
            Insignificant
  but existent in it's capacity .
   It's watered and nurtured
Like a new born babe prepared
for the life the parents want.
  Better than what they had.
  Children are a way of living
Life in a newer more creative way.

I would give up my smile
just to have you here
On my lap
Legs spread out.
Head back as you moan
In the ecstasy my fingers bring
you're so passionate when you're wet.

I would give up my freedom
To become your slave
Bringing you to the brink
Each and everyday
Staring into your liquid eyes
As you scream my name.
Knowing you want me
Is worth these chains.

The night plays it's melody
Soothing and enchanting
Luring you into a spell
A false contentedness.
Where you need your sleep.
I trudge slow
I still want to be up
Listening to your sweet voice
Having you telling me sweet nothing's
making my heart warm.
All I want is all night with you
To keep you up and love you
In every possible way.
The day's hours don't seem enough
for our loving.
Enchant me again
with your lips and touch.
Butterflies at your bidding
I want it all with you.