In the midst of the darkness
a wandering mind is elsewhere
in scenes that replay
purging a spectrum of thoughts
experiences
pains
sorrows
into one grand collage
of moments that instead
Should be flushed from
ones mind than constantly
be a reminder of such a
pitifully tragic life

We coast through each and every day
The same on repeat
Why do I stay
My blood stained wrists
Feel no tender kiss
My vacuous eyes
Filled with tears from the lies
How can I exist
If the pain is too great for this
I ask myself
In clear deliberation
In pure consideration
Why am I here

I extend a love
Greater than his
In return I get
Hurt like this
He yells and shouts
As I take the abuse
In excess amounts
Am I a bag to punch
Or a bone to crunch
What does it mean
When he calls us a team
I’m somehow at a loss
Like an idle rock
I gather more moss
As I try to turn towards the sun
I’m blocked by his words
And unable to run
I’m stuck in a tightly packed trap
It’s dark and I’m scared
I can’t find my way back
Do I just sit on the ground and wait
Or make another round, it’s too late
The exit is nowhere in sight
I stagger by the walls
With no remembrance of light
Do I give up on this futile attempt
I don’t feel anything at all
From his “love” I’m exempt

I know your pain
He hurt you
I see the rain
He made you cry
I feel your heartache
He lied
I recognize the mistakes
He made many
I can see you forgive
He already forgot
I urge you to live
He doesn’t know
But somehow
Love is worth it

My heart has turned to dust
The blood I bleed
Hardens like rust
The pain I feel inside
Is too much to bear
And too much to hide

The world is lost in my eyes
He picks up the pieces
He actively tries
But what of hope is alive
Despite all the hardships
Why do we strive
Do we keep it here for ourselves
Is there a point to this
Collecting dust on the shelves
Our brains are taught not to think
Unable to learn
Our ideas don't link
We get caught up with the time
To forget our duties
Is it a crime
We suffer and feel all the pain
We look at others with hate
And disdain
When will we be happy again
I cannot answer now
And I don't know when

Some days life's a mess
You cry more and smile less
The nights are dark and long
Death circles 'round singing a song
You feel worn and cold
Now reserved, those who were bold
An illness is not a game
Once you come out you're never the same
It gnaws its way to your core
Like you're trapped behind a heavy metal door
The light is unattainable
The joy is less sustainable
The laughter turns to tears
Caught in depression for many long years
Social turns to panic
The extreme anxiety then becomes manic
A world with no hope
The illness helps me tighten the rope
The chair beneath my feet
Quivers to my rapid heartbeat
In one fellow swoop I will fall
Then in the end, nothing matters at all