I guess I'm supposed to fall in love right?
I'm supposed to feel butterflies and laughter?
I'm supposed to post wedding dresses on pintrist
And instantly delete my tinder...
I'm supposed to wait for his text by the minute
And wish on a star that I see him soon
I heard that girls when they're in love fantasize
About what he may look like as her groom.
I heard that women write in diaries about men
Scribble love poems and play Taylor Swift
I guess I'm supposed to do these things when I feel something special
I think I'm supposed to value his love as a gift.
Sure, why not.
Give me love and I'll show you what it's really for
It's a tool that men use on women
To keep them knocking on their door.
It's disgusting and it makes me sick
They really are all the same
And if you think for one second that he gives a **** about you
Then you've already fallen for his game.

The uncomfortable smile
that you wear on your face
Your self confessed klutzness
and perceived lack of grace

The things that you say
and the things that you do
are just some of the things
I like about you

Like the stillest of waters
you run so deep
and the words that you share
are the treasures I'll keep

You're honest and modest
and fragile yet strong
and yet so uncertain
of where you belong

Let go of your past
leave your baggage behind
and trust in your heart
and just see what you find

You may be surprised
at how good things can be
If you let yourself go
let yourself become free

Let me in so I can write poetry
in the goosebumps on your skin
And tell a tale of where we are
and where we did begin.

My kisses would form letters
in a braille that briefly lingers
That I might read as I go along
with the light touch of my fingers

Let me in so I can write poetry
in the goosebumps on your skin

Every time it goes to **** a little piece of me dies with it.
Hearts break sure, but they also mend over time.
What stays broken, what breaks more than it recovers every time though,
is hope
the belief in happiness
the belief in trust
the belief that if you put your everything into something
into someone
that it will all work out in the end
that knowing you would do anything would somehow mean they would too
that they forgive as you would
that they would work at it as you would
that they are somehow as committed as you are
all these things die a little each time, and never come all the way back

It's always incredibly sad when you say goodbye to a loved one.
Doubly so when its the one that convinced you that "loved" ones could still exist in your life beyond family and people you've known forever.
You would think at 46 it would be different somehow, different to the way it was when you were 16.
But it isn't
Not really
The big hole in your chest is still there, the tightness, still there
You still put on a brave face to everyone around you lest they know the pain you're in
And it still doesn't make
any
*******
sense
at
all
...
..
.
So you just choke everything down as best you can,
move on,
lick your wounds,
and try not to let this moment of your past dictate your future the way theirs did.
And therein lies the tragedy of it all I guess.
You can go forward assuming everyone's the same, put up walls, let nobody in for fear you'll feel this way again and in some bizarre ******* of the word feel "safe"
or
you lay low for a while and go out there again
forgive and forget
really and truly try and forget
let the future be anything it wants to be without looking in every nook and cranny, every gesture, every subtext every moment...... for signs that its going to happen again, that he or she is just like "they" were.

Whoever said insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result has clearly never been in love.

Walking alone is not difficult
But when we walked a mile with someone
then coming back alone is difficult, very difficult.

They say you're not alone.
I'm not alone
...but I'm alone.
I know what they say.
I know I'm supposed to believe them.
I'm not alone
...but why do I feel so alone?

You may think you know.
Your farthest from knowing.  
I can put a smile on my face , just to show the world..
They think they know, they have no idea.
The smiles are sad.
The laughter is tears.
When you go to bed hoping you never wakeup..
You wakeup the next daycrying, still moving on.
Some say the more you move on the stronger you get.
I haven't got stronger one time yet.
Moving on doesn't make you stronger.
It makes you weak.
When no ones there to catch you fall, you have to catch yourself.
Sometimes you fall..
Being independent is good.
But, being lonley to me.
its just sad.

you cant help me, theres nothing you can do
cause im already broken through and through
just leave me alone and ill disappear
no one will notice im not here
ill be a shadow on the wall
and none of you will even know at all
im breaking piece by piece
my end is nearly here
goodbye, notice im gone or not
I dont care
its just me
why would you
even care?