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effaced Feb 2015
moving on auto-pilot
i walk to the bathroom
run the bath
grab the pills
shake off the doubt
grab a knife
swallow the pills
get ready to end your life
slit-wrist to elbow-both arms
slide to the bottom
moving on auto-pilot
#suicide
  Feb 2015 effaced
IvyB Xx
"I thought losing you was my death,

But it was when you found someone else that I died"
Ivy Botticelli
  Feb 2015 effaced
Almost Lover
We don't have a love like the rest
I compare it to Anastasia and Christian
You are so cold and dark inside
You can't provide love in my life
You can't save me from the demons in my mind
But I love the way you feel inside.

It's hard pretending I do not care
I wouldn't have it any other way
The way your thrusting inside me
Pulling my hair, and I scream.

Down on my knees looking up at you
This is what we have to offer
A secret life of ***, and I can't be your lover
But the way you grab me, pulls me away
You can take all you want
Just stay,  my fifty shades.
effaced Feb 2015
'why? please dont leave me...'
'how can i leave you when ive already left myself...?'
effaced Feb 2015
i love and hate my body,
because even when i am dying inside,
my lungs are inhaling and exhaling air,
oxygenating my brain,
making blood flow,
causing my heart to beat,
even when im wishing it to stop.
effaced Feb 2015
i aspire to be a writer so i can have my fantasies fulfilled, as sad as it sounds i will live through my characters and i will never write just for the money, all my books will be connected with me. if i ever publish, i will take time to meet my fans and explain my inspirations. because as a reader, i always want to know more...
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