So you liked the way her eyes lit up, you liked the way her laugh made your heart skip a beat.

That was okay, until you made me feel you liked the way my eyes light up
and that my laugh made your heart skip a beat.

Part of me likes to pretend you were oblivious to it all.
The way my cheeks reddened when you smiled at me, the way my heart would beat so loud whenever you touched me.
I liked to pretend you didn't notice that when I said your name it made my heart flutter, but then I realized you knew, you always knew.

So if you only liked the way her heart beat for you then why, why did you make my heart beat for you too and then pretend you couldn't hear it?

No matter how many cigarettes I smoke

No matter how many drinks I take

No matter how many tears I shed

No matter how many showers I take

My clothes will always smell of you

My mouth will always taste like you

My eyes will always see you

And my skin will always feel *you

I used to hate you because you didn't care

But now I realized it wasn't that you didn't care

You're intentions were never accidental,

Everything you did was delectable, even hurting me, you did that on purpose.

You are the riddle I never want to stop trying to figure out

You asked me why

why I was laughing

You asked me what

what was I thinking

so now I ask you why

why did you push me and run away knowing I would fall forward and you wouldn’t be there to catch me?

what were you thinking

and so I must tell you I am no longer laughing and I think of nothing except for you

I hope when she scratches her nails down your thighs and looks up at you, you see my eyes.

Watch out for me I'm like a cracked window you'll think you can see yourself in me, you'll think we have things in common, that I'm someone you'd want to know
I can promise I'm more trouble than I'm worth.
I'll pay more attention to the way your eyes squint when you laugh and how your smile is slightly crooked. I'll notice how sometimes you blink slowly and when your nervous you'll play with your hands.
I'll notice these things instead of listening to the words you're saying.
Then I'll write about you until my fingers bleed, I'll spend the next few years choking on your name
Don't fall for me, I'm afraid I'll take you down with me.

I'm sorry for making you a stop on the way. You were my hotel room when I was your home.