Kneeling on bruised knees
Holding callused hands
breaking already broken hearts
you wait for someone to help you fix your voice.
You've been raspy for a while now
never having been this half spoken
The words just get caught in your throat on the way up
half because you don't want anyone else to hear them
and half because you forgot what its like to be heard.

Absentee opinions accompanied by a faulty mouth
I hang in the silence in noose of other peoples needs.

I wanted to be special in the eyes of someone else
I played the body of her, while you imagined her face on mine until you realized

I am not her
Will not be her
Cannot be imagined as such.

For this I cried
and for that I feel empty.

Teach yourself to let emotions
pour loudly and unapologetically out of your mouth.

Learn to decipher the intentions of your peers
and learn to by pass all those who cannot handle your full extent.

Decided you didn't want me
after you figured out you couldn't finish
unless you couldn't see my face.
Learned that if it was anyone
but the other girl
that you'd rather not be aware of who.
So you could atleast pretend
you still had the one you really wanted

There is a sweet pain in mapping the history of our coupling.
     meter by meter, each grassy
     embrace and sand-filled kiss
     charts a curious and comforting record.

Stolen moments, a theft
     of space, a conquering
     of body and mind.  Dying leaves
     cover a multitude of our sins

That copse of trees
     my birthday gift, my knees
     quivered and felt
     barely tethered to the ground

Stars wheeling above
     us and behind my eyelids
     as I came, shuddering
     my pulse the steady swift thrum
          of a deep cello chord, velvet-rich
          against the muscle of your tongue
     my spasming thighs, reluctant
          to let you go
                         always.

By daylight cars
     come and go
     oblivious to the chapel,
     the consecrated ground we made

Desire, our religion
     lust, our communion.

I baptized
     the upholstery of your truck
     sweet abandon - my satisfied
     cries a catechism.

Sing Hosanna in the highest
     for every delicate sigh
     you've wrought from my naked body

This, then, is Eden -
     every inch I survey I see
     us naked, worshipping, with
     greedy hands and mouths
     by silver moonlight

The grunts and moans of
     our ******* a hallelujah,
     a psalm.

My temple, your body
My pulpit, your ***** **** -
     your salty skin
In this worship, I am
     perfect - my sermon
     most holy -is an entreaty

Love me,
     Heal me,
          Make my weary body alive again.

Amen.  
     Amen.

I am too close
to the ever-pressing silence
that dominates the mood of my life.
Eerie jackals pass me in the hall
hungry
for a taste.
Blank stares and quiet skies
interlude
with an electric hum.

Why do I cringe?  
at the thought of a
multitude of realities -

My jungle has no king.
Tender flesh exposed
most delicate in your countenance
I don't know your name
and there are too many of you
to begin with, so I can't end.

Impressions upon the mind
carved deep
with chisel and talon

Release me from this depth
too thick, like a humid morning
with an empty white sheet
staring back across the way.

That quiet sky speaks
no more as I wander
near the shore

Thunderous emptiness
rumble and control me

In the distance, an echo
returning from my silence.

*I am too close.

You are my passion
divine influence
under the moon
between my lips
you are infinite
and I would die for
the likes of you.