I fall in love
rarely,
infrequently
but when I do
I fall in love
so fast
it spins my head.

One day
I will find you intolerable
and another
I will discover a piece of you
that resonates with me
lights a spark in me
and I will fall for you
in the blink of an eye
with all of you
and build an entire world
for the two of us.

But the world, most often,
turns out to be made of glass
just waiting to break apart
and I will fall down so hard
and hit the ground
just as fast as I fell in love.

It doesn't make a sound
when it breaks
but it hurts the loudest.

I want to
keep on looking at you
without being afraid of being caught.

I want to
reach out across the space between us
and hold your hand.

I want to
curve "I love you"
in letters in the palm of your hand.

I want to
ruffle the hair on top of your head
and kiss the tip of your nose.

I want to
feel the warmth of your hands,
cupping my face.

I want to
fall asleep
listening to the beat of your heart.

I want to
wake up and see the sunrise
on your face.

I want to
rush home after work
and tell each other
all about our day.

I want to
come home to you.

I want to
dance with you
in our living room
and under the starry sky on our rooftop.

I want to
live
in a one bedroom apartment
with you.

I want to
travel
the whole world
with you.

I want to
have fights with you
and then make up to you.

I want to
be the first
to wish you on all your birthdays.

I want to
celebrate our anniversary
even when we have hit our eighties.

I want to
be the one
you show all your scars to
and I want to
reveal to you
all the monsters that live in my head.

I want to
be the anchor
in your times of need
and I want you
as my lifeline for all of eternity.

I want to
grow old with you
and remain
forever young at heart.

I want to
spend this one lifetime
and the ones after this
loving you as you are,
knowing that you love me too.

they say,
as long as there is life
there is hope
but
can you spend your whole life
simply hoping?
maybe some things are just not meant to be
it is better to let those hopes turn to dust
before you do.

I don't talk
about you anymore
like I used to

Before,
I would speak of you
to anyone and everyone in my life,
sharing pieces of you with others
so much that people started wondering
if there was something between us.
It was never intentional
but rather an involuntary response
to the pull of gravity I felt towards you.

I used to like the way
your name sounded in my tongue
I used to practice uttering it
and whispering nothingness into your ears.

I used to say your name
like it was sacred

but now it has become taboo
to even think of your name
Every time it comes up in my mind
I have to hit the mental brakes,
I no longer mention you
to anyone else
it's like you do not even exist,
never did -
you are just the ghost of a name
that resides somewhere in my head,
collecting dust.

Why is it this way
and not that way?
Why can't life be just a li'l bit kinder?
Why do we have to make the best
of every worst situation?
Why do we have to find the strength to let go
when we want to hold on with all our lives?
Why can't everything be simpler?