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Dev Sep 2018
I can’t handle much more of this
I think I truly hate myself
And so I look for others for love
And yet,
I still find none there.

And maybe
if I lost 20, 30, 40, maybe 50
Maybe then
Someone would love me
Maybe then,
I would love myself
Dev Sep 2018
I miss her in a thousand ways that I could not explain
But I can tell she doesn't miss me, from a thousand different ways.

The most obvious of all being that she no longer cares for my attention, rather finds comfort in a boys arms now.

It's a little bit ironic.
I'm a lil lonely.
I miss her a lot.
But if she cared, she would show me.
She would reply to my messages.
Or even just read them.
Dev Sep 2018
A cold metal stick
held between floor and ceiling
I twirl and I trick
it's a fecking great feeling
And everytime I say
that i dance on a pole
everyone stares
"the fat girl playing a ***** role"
But it doesn't matter
cause for those 60 minutes
I feel like I'm flying
like i have no limits
And it's the one time a week
that I truly like myself
and I can look in the mirror
all confident in myself
I guess what I'm saying
is don't put me down
for loving myself
Cos I'm not losing my crown
Not yet anyways.
I hung upside down today and I was so impressed/proud/soreeeeeee :D
It's time we put the negative connotations associated with pole dancing to rest - it's great exercise, fantastic for body confidence, and overall makes you feel great about yourself
  Sep 2018 Dev
ForeverAndAlways
You nibble on her neck
as your fingers follow the trail
of the curves of her body,
every inch of it craving you.

She had a weakness
for your hand on her throat,
your words in her heart
and your mouth on her lips.

None of which
she had the willpower
to refuse to you.

All your wishes,
her commands.
Everything you are,
her body craves.

Your souls dance to a song
of moans and lust.
Your bodies followed
with unimaginable infatuation.

"Mine."
You said.
"Yours."
She replied.
Dev Sep 2018
It was fathers day on sunday
And my dad was really happy
he saw two of his grown three boys
I'll be honest it was sappy

And while my brothers were over,
he was indeed always grinning
In all the photos we took
with his grandkids, he was winning

And the most important part
was that he was able
to congratulate his sons on being new fathers
as we all sat to eat at the table

And as soon as everyone left,
he let out a sigh
he heaved himself into his bedroom
so we wouldn't hear him cry

because his third son,
the youngest of his boys
didn't even bother to show up
he was the silence in the noise

his absence was louder than anything
his lack of presence left a hole
and nothing any of us did
could possibly console

Not even a happy fathers day
to the dad who cared for him
and now I think everyone
has lost their faith in him.

And no longer can he blame
his psychopathic partner
because this one's on him
and he's pushed us all farther.

So I hope it was worth it
I hope your day went well
because you're completely different in my eyes
From your pedestal, you've fell (fallen)
Couldn't make the last word rhyme lol
In all honesty do whatever the hell you want. It's like I don't even know you anymore. You goddman deserve her, if she's pulling your strings, and especially if she's not.
Dev Sep 2018
I'm not happy
at all






and i just kinda wanna stop existing
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