I'm never gonna delete those memories,
no matter how much pain they cause me
as i scroll past them in my camera roll
it does not matter.
i will hold them close like my first born
because i never want to lose them
like i lost you

looking back in time, only in my mind
i can smell the day i was in, feel the wind by my side.
the sun on my back, walking through back trails of a small
forest with my friends, looking for a place to smoke ****.
ironic right, but i never thought about how time pasts,
i felt like those moments would last forever
but now i'm further away from them than i have ever been
and all i can feel is a somber Melancholy that i am ever so used to

She said i would manipulate her
i didn't have a clue what she was talking about
but i think i do now
i sometimes blow up with a lot of emotions
and may have given her guilt to stay
which in my head, disgusts me
why would she stay with a person like me when i do that
i cant hold my emotions in check
so my emotions swayed hers
and made her do things she didn't exactly like
like making love to me.
I wish she had the strength to yell at me
and tell me how she really feels.
it could have saved us from times like this

when i'm feeling down i end up on here
typing out what i can
from the flurry of emotions and words
intertwined together in my head
they'll all be gone soon
only if i am lucky enough

I feel like i've written about you and only you
i wanna do something to make you feel the way i do
and i've said this a thousand times too
i want to make you love me the way i love you again

Why do you still even talk to me
leave me in the dark already
i know you want to
i deserve to be here
all alone
with the ghost that haunts me
its my ghost, we talk sometimes
i'm gonna be leaving soon
and you might never see me again
but the less you know the better.

I want to Tatt
a Halo around my head
so i remember that i'm an angel