The torturous insomnia
gives way to nightmares
that chill her to the bone
and the nightmares break
leaving her empty and depressed
and she lies in the crushing darkness
sleepless and terrified.

I cannot escape
your pull on me
like the pull of the moon
tugging on the ocean of my soul
changing the tides within me.

You wake something within me
a curse,
something savage and beautiful.

I, like the wolf
am changed in your light
turned into something new.

I long to run
paws to the ground
long to howl at the night
nothing holding me back
but your gentle, changing light.

So, if you are the moon
if you are change
let me be the wolf
let me be changed.

I can't say I'm broken
Even if I have not the strength to go on
I can't say "you've hurt me"
Even if my heart is torn and bleeding
I can't say "I hate myself"
Even if I feel it is the truest thing ever
I can't say I hate you
Even after all you've done to me
I can't say I'm depressed
Even if someone might be able to help
I can't say I need someone
Even if they need me too
I can't say I'm falling
Even if my fingers are slipping on the edge
I can't say I'm lost
Even if someone can guide me home
I can't say I miss you
Even though I feel it in my bones every day
I can't say I'm hopeless
Even if I've given up

She can't find love
so she just gets drunk
and hates herself.

I never said
how much you meant to me
I never said
how many times I cried
I never said
it hurt being replaced
I never said
you were my escape
I never said
how much I hurt myself
by leaving
I never said
how I still feel
I never said
you replaced me
I never said
I miss you
I never said
and I never will.

I keep little pieces of you with me
Like the little pieces you left of my heart
I keep your anarchy
I keep your quotes
I keep your memory
I keep the fire you lit in my heart
I keep the spark you put in my eyes
I keep your passion
I keep our love locked away
I keep these little things in hopes
You'll come back someday.

Are you happy
really happy?
is your soul at rest
or are you just pretending,
to hurt me
the way I hurt you.

Monday trickles into Tuesday.
Wednesday and Thursday blur out of focus.
The weekend doesn't even happen.  
Suddenly it's Monday at the end of the month
and you don't remember getting there.  
You don't remember eating
or sleeping.
You don't remember anything
expect monotony.

The days have been pureed into a monochromatic slush.
Unappetizing and bland.

A warrior doesn't need a therapist.
But then again a warrior doesn't cry when yelled at...

The way you treat me when
I am fighting my demons in
the trenches of my soul
on the front lines of the battle
for my sanity,
The way you treat me when I am low
will influence the way I feel about you
when a stalemate is called
and I am so happy that
I am shooting down the moon.
Treat me as an ally in a great war
Treat me as ****
But remember,
I am not always in the trenches
and
I am not always shooting down the moon.

All my days, I have been lost
drifting from place to place
like the fallen leaves of autumn's past.
Always moving, never settling
for too long.

The day we met was
like coming home after a very long holiday.
Coming home to a place I had never been before,
but feeling all at peace
for the first time.

My existence has been boxes and baggage
dragged there and back again.
Your voice is a comfort,
it says "unburden yourself
stay a while."
and I realize,
that to this wanderers heart
you feel like home.