Who
Am
I when
Tragedy
Is stripped out of me
And my hollow heart is displayed

I am a motel with flashing neon lights
With the vacancy sign emblazoned on the horizon
Travelers stop to rest
Fall between my legs
Rest their heavy heads on my chest
Drain the life out of me
To put a little more into themselves
But who will pour more life into me?

Her
Touch
Left traces
Across my
Flesh so that it parted
Never to come back together

Drugs, parties, and selfish people rarely
Mix to a positive combination
And I of all people should know that truth
Hours upon hours in meetings with addicts

Hearing real tales of human beings
Falling down a nearly endless black hole
Friends, family, and humanity lost
Ripping into the tapestry of life

How foolish to believe with conviction
That my obviously selfish best friend
Could possibly be any different
Increasingly more pernicious until

That final blow where I have to let go
To tend to my gaping wounds all alone

I hate you for ruining my life
My will to live has slipped through my fingers
And all that I can think about is your metaphorical knife
I hate you for ruining my life
You ****** your crime upon me, resulting in strife
Your voice singing my name now lingers
I hate you for ruining my life
My will to live has slipped through my fingers

Your grip is so firm and tight
I can’t even say enough to start a fight

This protectiveness is so present
At first charming, but now not so pleasant

Your concept of space gripping upon me
When you’re gone my sadness is as deep as the sea

You and I are tangled together like vines
Slowly but surely ignoring warning signs

If I leave I don’t know how to survive
But at the same time what if we never thrive?

Blood, blood everywhere
The sheets, his pants, her hands
But especially her hands
Stained crimson
In the cracks in lines on her skin
Under her fingernails
So plentiful it seeps into her own skin
A murderer she is

What would you feel
If you read my name in the newspaper
Under the obituary?
Would it cross your mind
To attend my funeral
And see my lifeless body laying
In a casket
Wrists slashed
Marks of tears permanently
Scarred in the lines of my face
Because of you.
Would you feel guilty then?
Finally realize
The life you've stolen
From a little girl,
The future promised
That you took and smashed,
The heart full of naivety
That you filled with distrust,
The untouched skin
That's now slashed
Because all I try to do
Is scrape away the feeling
Of your hands holding me down,
The sensation of your words hitting my skin
Promising that everything would be ok,
The burns your eyes engraved
On my innocent skin.
Would you hold my hand
One last time
And tell me all I've ever wanted to hear?
"I'm sorry"

He is the salt in a wound
The feeling of being doomed

The pain that never ends
The message with love that never sends

Hate that burns like fire
The situation classified as dire

Torture with deep brown eyes
Dunking you under with lies

The disease that never leaves
Causing you to seethe

The paper cut between your fingers
That always lingers

Racking sobs that break your ribs
Tears streaming down your face, falling on your lips

I realize
That not all men
****

That not all men
Beat

That not all men
Brutalize

That not all men
Leave

That not all men
Are destructive

But it's enough men
For me to be scared
Of all men

If he knew
That I had dyed my hair
He would say,
I like it
It looks good
But why would you ruin your rareness
Your red hair is so pretty
And I would say,
I felt like a change;
In moments of passion
He would still call me beautiful
And I would really smile
And if things were normal
His looks of hatred
Would be looks of longing
And possibly love;
My demands for change
Wouldn't start with him
Because they wouldn't exist at all

Yes I am supremely angry
Yes I am agonizingly hurt
There is injustice everywhere quite frankly
Women are forced to constantly be alert

Yes I weep tears that could fill oceans
Yes I am filled with racking sobs
Cries of no are ignored with continued motion
Predators are attacking like wild dogs

Yes I fight with the spirit of a crusader
Yes I want radical change for the future
Because I don't want to wait until later
Allowing more girls to be butchered

No I won't laugh at your **** jokes
No I won't tolerate your ignorance
The piece of my life that has been stolen is not a hoax
And I will continue to make a difference

No I won't give up
No I won't back down
I'll continue the movement and it's buildup
I refuse to allow hate to cause me to drown

You'll remember my name
You'll put the face to the actions
Because I'll call out who's to blame
Demanding significant reactions

When I was younger
And still believed that the world was happy
I never understood
Why people used drugs

But as I grew older
And experienced this world
And had everything robbed from me
It clicked

When I was younger
I used to play dress up
And put on makeup
Just because I wanted to

But as I grew older
And society's expectations
Pressed down on me
Looking nice turned into an obligation

When I was younger
I was told that I'd be safe
Because authority figures
Existed so they could protect everyone

But as I grew older
I learned that was a lie
And predators run free due to a lack of justice
Because it isn't guaranteed

When I was younger
I used to be happy
And carefree
Life seemed endless to me

But as I grew older
The wind grew bitter
And everything
Seemed to drip with poison

Good luck forgetting me
Because like the color of my hair
You'll remember me as a flame
That burned a path through your life

Good luck forgetting me
Because like a foreign taste
You'll always remember
My exquisite and lingering flavor

Good luck forgetting me
Because like hot coffee you drink too fast
You'll remember the burn I leave
Every time your tongue touches the roof of your mouth

Good luck forgetting me
Because like the branding animals receive
You'll remember the mark I've left
Claiming that you're my man

Good luck forgetting me
Because like homemade food you're fond of
You'll remember me every time a new girl touches your lips
And reminisce on how I was better

Good luck forgetting me
Because I'm the girl who took you down,
Like no one else could;
I'm the girl you'll never forget

The greatest thief of all time
Was the first boy I loved
He stole and he stole and he stole
From every girl who crossed his path

Including me

And now I'm left
With hardly anything
Just the shattered memories of him
Because he threw them across the room

And my broken heart
That he took in his horrific hands
And squeezed until it broke
Claiming it as his own

My
hands
were not
big enough
to hold all your grief
and sew your broken parts together,
my hands were only big enough
to caress your skin,
showing me
just how
you
bled

In the aftermath she stays by his side
Willingly oblivious to his misplaced pride
Selfishly ignoring everyone’s despair
Because she doesn’t hear the scream lingering in the air
She’ll fall into routine, hanging on for the ride
Taking anything and everything he says into stride
Until nightmares violate her bedside
And her heart is stripped bare
In the aftermath
Just like the rest of us, she’ll feel cast aside,
Causing her pain to be amplified
Regretting their affair
Because living has become too much to bear
Through eyes that see how the ones before her have died
In the aftermath