Butterflies fluttering and flitting
In the pit of my stomach
Chrysalis splitting
Palpatating rhythms skipped
Like fifteen year old giddy kids again
still loving like we'd never lived
As if the world itself
and existence
so far had forbidden it
But we still spit back with conviction
that we didn't give a ****.

Thinking of so many little things
Leaves me smitten
constantly
grinning like an idiot.

Fingertips that nervously fidgeted with zippers
Now fiddle with a sliver, shiv
buried in between disfigured ribs.
Cataclysmic schisms
Eviscerated
Replaced with brittle bitterness
Individuals
Left Ambivalent
Grieving what hearts
could never give
A thorn
Invisible,
kept hidden
Amidst

From my heart
this liquid drips
But never once like a bullet hole
Riddled sieve
The same exit wound
That left me scribbling this
Pencil tip
Like an incision slid
Effortless
Across the skin
ink rivers
Spigoted

In every Pretty vision
Like your palms reached out and my heart just fit  
Fist
sized
Muscle twitched
electric
As if the candlelight wick
flickering behind my eyes was finally lit
Twin flames
Glittering
hits

Mind
Envisages
We both just exist
Uninhibited
Betwixt
Lips that
Kissed
Wisdom
Where
Grisly figments
Did shrivel and whither
Two people indivisible
you, my arms held within
spirits lifted or just a place to rest your
tear swept chin
no longer whittled until attrition quits
I can envision it
so vividly this bliss
upon my heart its stitched.

I want to memorize every one of your smile lines,
mundane days
by your side,
sharing comfortable silences
but me still quietly trying to make you laugh
until we're both crying,
splitting sides so many times
the echoes are etched inside my mind.

Unstoppable
clockwork seasons,
spring mocks with dewdrop
gossamer chalk upon lawns,
frostbitten
blossoms slaughtered,
catastrophic apocalypse
and thaw.

Wrought iron rusted,
long lost,
oxidized
trying to be stronger
than the ongoing
trauma that gnaws
soul suffering from exhaustion
body got locked in
sarcophagus box
and this coffin
rotting skin has
forgotten the softness,
just the rocky bottom
of mausoleum walls.

Seasons come and go
like seas' uneven breathing,
deeply heaving.

High tidal breeze,
swells rise,
seizing;
lunar lock and keys hide
sleeping,
dreaming.

Full feelings
meet beaches
easily steaming,
waves crash breakwall,
mist smoke screening.

Then new sliver
smiles, teasing,
moon's silver filigree
grins sharp, gleaming;
shallow reefs peeking,
watery weeds,
wrists reaching feebly.

Dreary ceiling
and lighthouse
beacon needed
to cleave through these evenings
of nightmares creeping.

Heart darkened
by legions teeming
with evil heathens
and devils, demons,
towering behemoth
war machines ceaseless,
stampedes succeeding;
peacekeeper unseated,
depressive diseases breeding,
thieving and depleting reason,
leeching,
treasonous lesions bleeding;
feeding on weaknesses
eaten.

Meanwhile
free man
cartesian mapping
Elysian regions,
feet and knees freezing-
insomnia's silence screaming,
no egress,
yet adamantine,
unheeding,
eager to only
keep own legs
still leading,
each step meets concrete
through bleakness,
seeking bright beam's
lamplit sweeping
serene for me but
heat seething
these cretins
like a bee sting.

Dawn relinquishes,
shadows fleeing
back to the steepest peaks,
creatures beaten,
receding
as sun climbs east
egregiously defeating,
signing tomorrow's treaty agreement
before besiege on eden repeating.

Limerance
like winter's splinters
leaves skin wincing,
timber limbs frostbitten
tinsel shimmers
but the heat still lingers,
smoulders tinder;
what was once
stronger than a whimper,
twin flames dwindled
to burning cinders
now hinders, injures.

What do you do when
youve always been lost
without a place?

A slave to the chains
and weight of fate,
strayed from plans best laid
as the whole basement's razed?

And since you can't brace
for the blows
that bend and bow
your body til it breaks,
pavement leaving
naked skin scraped–
like blades, it scathes,
until I'm
in this vacant state,
the same
as the ache that I hate.

How do you stay chaste
and have faith
when you are your only savior
but everything is left disgraced?

And the only times you taste
why it was worth the wait
you wake to find reflection's
face erased,
leaving no station or trace.

A wraith,
racing with haste
just to end the pain at
an accelerating rate,
I decay and waste
as yesterdays
fade away.

And you mean to tell me that
no matter how dire the straits
or how great the stakes
we can evade or escape?

But how will we
if nowhere has ever been safe?

Winter depression sets in,
ice like glass reflections etched skin,
every expression arrested
til this wretched essence
resuscitated, resurrected;
or maybe it's just
the stench of my flesh
finally on the precipice
and threshold of death.

I awaken
sweat drenched;
vengeance of my enemy,
my relentless nemesis
the nightmare dreamt memories,
a penitentiary;
prison sentence spent
held in contempt,
solitary confinement
this immense emptiness
solidified by icy torment,
cell cemented;
detention condemns.