The rain pounds through everything.
The earth fills up.
Who would complain, refrain!
Reevaluate your luck.

Flesh melts and burns, it isn’t real,
But a future not so far off.
I see coiled springs, and reactive things,
And sick speculations rule my thoughts.

Gods help us all.

A devil drawls. A siren shrieks.
The masses spit and shout.
A dried up tear for who cannot speak.
No light can lead us out.

The story will not change,
And the ruler won’t relent.
Mere reluctance makes revolution not,
And all my thoughts are spent.

Gods help us all.

Three years a mother
                       Look at you so tall!

Three years a juggler
                        Be careful don't fall!

A mother, a lover, a nurse, a friend
                        Go on now baby let's hear you count to ten!

A sometimes yes to the invite
                           Poor baby has the flu!

An often last minute cancelation
                           The sitter has something else to do!

I feel so tired, exhausted, and lonely
                           Wake up little baby let's get dressed for the day!

Not welcome in spaces where once I was praised
                            Come on goofy girl we've got a busy day!

But I can be a mother and love you just the same
                            Good job my baby you said your own name!

I've been lately writing poetry!
Oh? What do I see?
A perfect poetry site waiting for me!
First poem, proud of it!
Oh? Someone in my messages?
This guy seems sweet
And he's hoping I don't get beat!
Pretty songs for me to listen to!
And a drunk man messaging me...?
“You're only making yourself a victim because you're cutting yourself"
Oh? Okay- thanks for the paragraph/drunk rant?

Shining lights on all of my latest poems?
Thank you! You're so sweet!
….oh…talking to me about pedophiles…got it…
Why are there so many sad songs?
WHY DOES THIS MAN HAVE SO ****** MUSIC TASTE AGGGHGDGFGCC

Oh? You wrote a poem about the 764 and absolutely humiliating them?
Great! Good job!
…But uhh… why and how did they make a virus only going after your followers that are minors? Not funny!
Why is this man warning me if they threaten me? Is he trying to make me scared on purpose?
Blaming the Japanese for this virus now, huh?
Oh? Now blaming someone else named Pax to be part of the 764? Crazy

…. going to another website? But you're so fun!
May as well click on the link you sent me so I can join you

Drunk rants with me? That's okay!
Giving me gold so I can freely make poems?
THANK YOU SM
Daily texting
2-10 hour sessions
Why are you drinking everyday?
You're making me concerned for your health
I told you to stop drinking, papa
You promised me you'd stop
All you did was keep on drinking

Commenting on every poem I made
Oh? So suddenly I'm a “nasty *****" when I have done nothing to you? ありがとう!
We have a suicide pact now?
I'm going off the bridge first?
Don't mind if I do

Oh? Another poetry site? Okay…
I really don't like the way this site works, can't we just message each other with email?
Yes? Yay!

People bullying you on the internet? That's not okay!
Why would they accuse you of being a *******?
Letting me join an uncensored group to back you up? Great!
Sending me to a Reddit page to back you up?
Alright!
….oh … they warned me and I didn't do anything….
******* this man is an actual *******…..
gotta go fast like Sonic
pack my bags and leave

Oh? I betrayed you? Crazy
We were just friends
Can you stop spitting my name everywhere?
It's like you're so obsessed with me
Stop trying to be the Eminem to my Mariah Carey
Made a poem about you and you HAD to take it down?
Never thought you'd want to hide your identity THAT hard
Oh? Betting on my suicide now, are we?
Sending me multiple emails, desperate for me to come back to him?
I'm not that ******* naive or gullible
It's crazy if you think that about me
…I did tell you to send those photos of your cut open arms but I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D TAKE IT SERIOUSLY AND DO IT

Being racist?
“Japshit”?
Why are you so obsessed with my Chinese genes?
“I thought I can use Kai because of her Chinise genes because the Chinise was known to be very good spies. ☝️🤓" へー! Didn't know that!
Also, that's not how you spell Chinese, my fellow kind sir
Threatening people to come to America with a Katana and slice us to pieces
So envious, I see
You're just mad because we have a little bit more freedom than your drunk *** does

Oh…. Talking to me about ****
Got it
Thanks
I didn't need to be taught about METART or some **** like that
I'm only 12 years old
You ***** *****

Well…this is the aftermath

**** me, kindly
With your gentle hands
Save me, oh so sweetly
For in your tender grasp
Lies the only cure
To my ugly.
Undesirable.
Unsalvageable pain.

                                                    𝐹𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑦𝑜𝑢—
                                           𝑀𝑦 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑—
                                                        𝐼­ 𝑏𝑒𝑔—
                                                         𝐽𝑢𝑠𝑡.
                                                         𝑂𝑛𝑒.
                                                        𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑛­𝑔.


                                                      𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡𝑙­𝑦.
                                                       𝐾𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑦.
                                               𝐾𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒—𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒.


Gentle hands
We've already established
Could never do any harm
So clearly—
No harm shall be done
As you
Oh, so kindly
Wrap your gentle hands around my neck
And oh, so sweetly
Squeeze.

                                               ­                                             𝐻𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑟.
                               𝐿𝑒𝑡 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑜𝑙𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒.
                                                        ­                                    𝐷𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑔𝑜.
                                                             ­                         𝐹𝑜𝑟 𝑤𝑒’𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑.
                                                        ­                       𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒.
                                                        ­                  𝐻𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑎𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛.
                                                            ­𝐶ℎ𝑜𝑘𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑠𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑠.
                                                          ­                      𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒.
                                                      ­              𝐼𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑑𝑒𝑣𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛.

𝐀𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞—𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐲—
𝐀𝐬 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮—
𝐓𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐲—
𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞.

Cradle me in those loving arms
Attached to such gentle hands
With such fateful grace
Hold my head close
To that half-loving heart.

                                                𝐼𝑓 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑚𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦—
                                                        ­                𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑘𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝑚𝑒—𝑠𝑜 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑦—
                                                         ­                 𝑊𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑖𝑝𝑠.
                                                           ­                               𝐿𝑒𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑓𝑠.
                                                        ­     𝐵𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑦.
                                                         ­                  𝐿𝑜𝑢𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚𝑠.
                                                        ­                                   𝑆𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑓𝑡𝑙𝑦—𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔.
                                                   𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑓𝑦 𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑠.
                                                       ­     𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑗𝑜𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑐𝑦.

𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐩—𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲—𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐧.
𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞.
𝐓𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬—
𝐀𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐤—
𝐈𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞.
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞—𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞.
𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫—
𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞—𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫—
𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐮𝐠𝐥𝐲.
𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞.
𝐔𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐯𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬—𝐟𝐚𝐝𝐞.
𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧.

I am so feeble beneath your counterfeit love
So weak
That even your tender caress—strips me of breath
Strip me fully
Until I am—nothing more
Let me be—breathless—in your hold
For it is this breath—that brings me pain
It is this life—that burdens me
Torments me
Brainwashes me—into loving you less
Fools me—into loving other things—instead.

                                                ­                               𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑠—
                                                          ­           𝑊𝑟𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑎𝑡.
                                                         ­                    𝑆𝑜 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑦—𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑚𝑒.
                                                             ­          𝑊𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑒.
                                                          ­                             𝐾𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝑚𝑒—𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡𝑙𝑦.
                                                     ­           𝑊𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑝𝑠—𝑜𝑓 𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛.
             𝐺𝑖𝑓𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝐼 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟—𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑦𝑎𝑙.


𝐍𝐨—𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞.
𝐈𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐈—𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐞—𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭—𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞—
𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐬.
𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬.
𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐦𝐲.
𝐔𝐠𝐥𝐲.
𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐤.
𝐔𝐧𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥.


**** me—kindly.
Please.
Save me—sweetly.
By teaching me—the art of dying.
With every soft hesitant word—
Cheap enough—for me to afford—
Smother me—in the silence—
Where my torment—can finally—vanish.

                                        𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ—𝑖𝑠­ 𝑛𝑜 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑜𝑚.
                               𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑜𝑚—𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒.
                                        𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑚𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑠𝑒—
                             will you—
                                                            ­     oh so sweetly—
                                  save me—
                                                             ­               by
                                                 killing me—
                                                     kindly?

fields flow indoors for no more than a pulse
disgust has crippled their faces
all know the roar of horror but shiver the results
dare not Utter-son, words cannot replace it

to be truly happy, you have to be truly free
turn that frown upside down; smile like me
you're not even real, just a voice caused by regret
drug induced delusions: a psychotic side-effect

unimaginable terror is sounding ever so sweet
take a sip; grab a chair; come on... kick up those feet.
compulsion overwhelming I've never felt before
I fear I may not be able to resist temptation anymore

eyes pried wide would coincide with the completely unplanned
shed filled with cinders
pain and shame inside inquiring can I still be called a good man?
spare a piece of timber?

feared fearsome fiends' failure.
hellfire hastening hillside
friend finally freed found frailer
hide here, Henry Hyde.

subjects' symptoms substantially subdued
self-experimentation out of necessity
uneducated solution came barreling through
regally rendering no reciprocity

living in a rut serving others while your plate is empty
Jekyll accept this gist gift... I'll be your guide on this journey
our vision now uniformed; into the violence we saunter
how can you ever be a good man when you love being a monster

eyes pried wide would coincide with the completely unplanned
shed filled with cinders
pain and shame inside inquiring can I still be called a good man?
spare a piece of timber?

feared fearsome fiends' failure.
hellfire hastening hillside
friend finally freed found frailer
hide here, Henry Hyde.