A large rock fell, pressed down on my chest
Squeezing my muscles and tightening my heart,
My heart pounds and pounds for it to come off,
But it just gets heavier.

My whole body stiffens and sweats,
Everything is all twisted like screws,
By your smiles, by your voice.

I hug the rock tightly,
It’s heavy and I cry,
I cry because I can’t push it off,
I cry because it hurts so much,
It hurts because I can’t have you.

I’m squeezed like a lemon,
My feelings so sour,
The juice, so acidic,
Burning me within,
It leaves a hole in my stomach,
Expanding into a vacuum,
******* away at my mind,
As false memories of you,
Steal away my sanity.

I count the seconds till the clock strikes twelve,
The only thing I can count on.
No cakes, no candles, no presents,
No friends expected.
Another year and day about to pass,
The loneliest day of the year.

I know no-one will knock,
But I sit close to the door.
I know no-one will call,
But I have my phone ready.
It is the longest day,
As I wait for them.
It is the shortest day,
As I hope they make it in time.
Nobody knocks,
And nobody calls.

On this day,
I blow out imaginary candles, and wish
With all my heart,
That I didn’t have a birthday.

Before the sun rises,
My dreams surrender to the same beeps,
I get up expecting nothing different,
Nothing exciting, nothing new,
A humble shirt and pants to blend.

Same bus arrives,
On time as expected,
Passengers dressed in shades of grey,
Unfamiliar faces with ****** expressions,
Sit and wait quietly for their stops.

One, two, three blocks I count,
Ten minutes of houses in rows,
Then ten minutes of tall, dark greens,
Until I pass a hill and fire trucks,
Then it's finally time to leave.

At work, the same people wave a hi,
While others greet with cordial smiles,
The same tasks repeat,
Like a never-ending purpose,
That solely serves to never end.

Same bus arrives,
On time as expected,
Passengers dressed in shades of brown,
Unfamiliar faces with empty glances,
Stare only ahead or at their laps.

It passes the fire station,
       And then the hill,
       Some clouds hover in the sky,
       Perhaps it'll rain,
Though it doesn't matter.

Ten minutes of tall trees pass by,
        I've grown attached to these scenes,
        An atmosphere so banal and plain,
        Even the unfamiliar pedestrians,
Bring comfort and security.

Ten minutes of houses in lines,
        Even the indifferent greetings,
        Release pressures to form friendly bonds,
        And the never-ending tasks,
That allow for stability.

One, two, three blocks left to go,
       Until this cycle repeats,
       And once it ends,
       I would lose a blessing,
A mundane luxury I will miss.

My mind is blank,
Not even a blur,
What were my thoughts,
I can't remember.

Memories fill a sea,
Levels rise tirelessly,
Whose smile was it,
Carried away by waves.

Birds above smirk and pass,
I stare down at my feet,
Where am I,
Alone.

I press a palm against my chest,
To hear a familiar sound,
A beat I don't recognize,
My sea grows desolate.

A ball of yarn full of intertwines,
Though the core a mesh of twists and folds,
One thread overlapping another all around,
Like how one path crosses many others,
Twisting, winding labyrinth,
But organized into a sphere,
And when the sphere unravels,
The paths untwist and untangle,
We realize,
That the thread overlaps not another,
But itself a hundred times over,
A single, long thread remains,
Encompassing all paths into one,
Then we finally see,
Despite the complex intricacies
There remains a single thread,
With one beginning and one end,
Shared by all,
Though we differ in between,
I am you,
And you are I.