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Hawley Anne Apr 2022
Without him I feel lost,
frozen empty and alone.
Im drifting through a barren sea,
helplessly going where wind blows.
I gave up on being rescued,
quite awhile ago.
Hopelessly  alone forever adrift,  
and noone will ever  know.
No guiding lights to aim for,
No lighthouse on the shore.
My will to live is no longer here,
as it was before.
So until the end of time,
I'll drift dark waters alone.
And live the fantasy that we once had,
Him, me, our daughter, and our home.
Hawley Anne Apr 2022
Just as the candles flame will extinguish, with time, soon shall all thoughts of this.
     And as the thoughts,
slowly fade away,
the memories are replaced by better ones made.
     So let the fire slowly die,
but always remember, at least YOU tried.  
     And when you feel regret start to resurface,
remember you were treated as if you were worthless.
     You had to let the fire go out,
don't let loneliness turn your mind to doubt.
     You did the best thing you were able,
given no choice you left the unfaithful.
     You need to remember in times when you miss them, that fixing what's broken is just fanaticism.
     So give up and move on you can do this stay strong,
You know in your gut that you did not choose wrong.
Hawley Anne Apr 2022
I am hopelessly in love with a memory,
An echo from a far away place.
Though I could see the illusion was slipping,
I tried hard just to dream of your face.
The love story that we had written,
It had such a beautiful start.
I was ready and you'd promised forever,
But then you broke us apart.
Hawley Anne Jan 2022
Will everyday hurt just a little bit less,
until one day its just a memory?
Gathering dust in the back of your mind,
is this what its like in recovery? .
All of the stress the drama and crime,
that goes with the lifestyle of ****.
What do you do with yourself anymore,
now that none of those things are left?

No more 3 am bedtime and hating your life,
no more walking the streets day and night.
No more wishing that you could for once just relax,
and not worry that there'd be a fight.
No more people pretending to be your best friend,
just to turn 'round and steal all your stuff.
No more doing anything you possibly could,
to get money so you could buy drugs.
No more silently screaming inside your own mind,
wishing that all of this would  just stop.
No more hiding in fear when you hear a siren,
cuz you'll no longer worry its cops.
No more crying yourself to sleep every night,
because somebody else has your kids.
No more spending the days just lost in your thoughts,
about every single milestone missed.
No more trying to think of an answer to give, to your 5 year old child when they ask.
"Mommy and daddy why dont I live with you?
Because YOU'RE my REAL mom and dad."

I've got some advice if you need some help,
so please listen closly my friend.
There is a few things I think you should try,
If you really want your addiction to end.
Boredom is dangerous so don't be alone,
but dont hang out with your old friends.
Find some new people to surround yourself with,
you've got to force this addiction to end.
Its not going to work if you don't give all you've got,
addicts don't want you to get clean at all.
Misery loves company they'll just drag you down,
cuz they would rather facilitate your fall.
So keep to yourself and some new sober friends,
and always believe you'll succeed.
Just keep on going one day at a time,
and from this addiction you'll see you've been freed.
Hawley Anne Nov 2021
Strangers with memories of who each of them had been,
All the people that they had known,
And every place they'd ever seen.
Passed by eachother in the street without saying a word,
But just for half a second their eyes locked,  his and hers.
It sent them both into memories,
They thought they had forgot.
The mind can easily  be lied to but can the heart, seems it can not.
That moment had reminded her of all the things he said,
The promises of forever and sweet kisses on her head.
And the pain which also came with that almost made her cry.
He had broke his promises, and she never found out why.
He left her broken and alone wondering how he wanted this.  
So quickly she had to look away, and try to forget that he exist.
Hawley Anne Oct 2021
"You were an unpleasant memory, now you're my reminder to be more cautious of the people I invest my time in.
You're my reminder to see people for who they are, and not who I want them to be."

Wow I almost cried reading this,
Way to true to me.
This is how I see you now,
What you chose to be to me.
Its taken, a ******* long *** time,
But I think I'm finally starting to heal.
The heartbreak I thought was a curse before,
Was needed, so that love and happiness, could be revealed.
Sure, I may still wish things were different,
But that wish is smaller with each passing day.
And one day, that wish will be gone,
And ill be okay with the fact,
you didn't stay.
I have two amazing daughters,
Who fill my heart with joy.
And its not me thats going to drown in regret,
Cuz unlike you, I'm someone they will not forget.
I will be there for them, everyday that I can,
the good days and bad days too.
And those girls they know, they can count on me,
Just like they know, sadly they can't count on you.
"You were an unpleasant memory, now you're my reminder to be more cautious of the people I invest my time in.
You're my reminder to see people for who they are, and not who I want them to be."
Hawley Anne Oct 2021
Tears running down her face,
are the only proof she's seen his ways.
She tries to smile,
but can no longer pretend,
that the damage he's done,
is little enough to mend.
His eyes, they hide his lies so well,
that when he speaks,
she can no longer tell.
It's seems so long since she could trust,
In anything he said,
so

   she's
           given
                         up.
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