As a kid I never wanted to be anything
Instead of doing anything of importance I questioned everything
Everything as in, why was the grass green?
What are clouds made of?
Who named the colors?
Why is blue a flavor and a color?
They where all pretty silly and had no meaning
Until I asked a question no one knows an answer to
What happens when we die?
At some point we have all asked this question to ourselves or others  
Knowing that no one knew the answer lead me to a notion of thinking in the fifth grade
If we don’t know what happens when we die is life pointless and we are all just waiting to die?  I asked this question my best friend at a sleepover
In response he said dude you’re overthinking because of all of the Mountain Dew
I shook this question off and walked life still questioning things
If god is real then why is there no prof?
What do you mean have faith there no way that there is a mystical man in the sky looking out for me!
Except when I questioned I started to argue back
This did not go well in school for me
I wanted to have a reason for everything
I was like a toddler that never grew out of the why phase
I continued life knowing I wanted to leave a mark in some way shape or form
As I grew older and matured I realized not everyone can leave a mark and it’s doubtful that I will ever even do any good
So I’m here now still a kid writing something down in hopes one day that my life will leave a mark
A legacy so that one day a kid will ask
Why did they die ?
In response someone will say
He questioned what happens when you die and one day he finally found out.

Love is a long list of things that I dropped from the shelf
Shattered into shards of sharp glass that cuts deep but can’t be seen
I am broken as is my love
My love is the shattered parts of me trying to put you back together
I never meant to cut you
I want to be seen by you my love for you are the one who shattered me
It’s okay I’ll be your Humpty Dumpty and you can try and put me back together again ?
No
Okay I’ll just sit in wait on a shelf
For you my broken love to be seen in my reflection .

We all have secrets
Our insecurities that we feel we must hide
Some hide behind mask of jokes and smiles
Or a pretty face
However many hide behind a screen this screen that we hide behind to where I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine
We refuse to let our lives show the real emotions we all feel at some point because it’s so much easier behind a screen
I’m no exception I wish I could say what I think without second thoughts of what if’s
I hide behind a fake smile and laugh cracking jokes that I use as a defense to ovoid feeling
But behind a screen where I don’t know you and you don’t know me it’s so much easier to say what I think and to think about what I say
I have no face on the internet no meaning yet I feel as words can carry my meaning from my fake laugh and jokes into the real me that can shown all the insecurities
Form me to you my screen

Some say they are stuck in a rut
They know one day they will be free
Free of the same old still old days on repeat
But a rut can be wedged out of
Mr rut is a never ending pit
And I during a leap of faith triped and now I just keep falling
Until I let myself think I hit the bottom
Which is an ocean of despair
Yet from that despair comes these instructions
When you thing you hit bottom don’t swim down down is the direction that you can always go
Try to climb
Watch it though the rocks on the walls of this pit are slippery
When you almost reach the top you will slip
So this is my directions
Go up
However the higher you go the greater you can fall
The greater you fall is the key to taking that leap of faith
Step one: a leap of faith is ******* no other way to put it if you have to leap so should they meet me halfway
Step two: if a leap of faith is over a pit but you need to jump take a second look that pit is your trampoline if you fall
Step three: life gives you a void to fall in write a way out
Last but not least my way out is to stop looking into the void instead look into the fact while you may be falling forever you feel as though you are flying
Extra step only If needed : try reaching for a rope to pull you out of the depths someone can pull you up from the depths it only takes the strength to take a leap of faith.

Sleep is my way of turning the noise off
The constant ringing in my ear getting louder and louder
Until I sleep
I sleep with the passion to never stop sleeping
I don’t want to wake up
Yet if I don’t I doubt that anyone will lose sleep
When I wake the noise of my thoughts scream into the  war that never ends between the “what if’s” and inevitable “when’s”
So when I sleep and don’t want up know it was my hope no one would lose sleep
Sleep is when the noise stops
But for the life of me I can’t remember when the
Noise began
Maybe in a dream

Life began knowing nothing
Feeling nothing
Life ends the same
Knowing nothing
After scars of life
Shredded the knowledge
Gained from nothing
Lost to life
Till we end
As we began
Others knowing how we began and ended
In detail
Yet we learn nothing in detail
We learn nothing in the end
Ending the same as anyone
Meaning thinking and seeing nothing
We end as we began
We began as nothing as do we end.

We all fall
But the question is whether we we fly
Like a baby bird first jumping from a tree
There is always a possibility we won’t fly
And yet some sore
They sore as people like me fall
People like me fall the same way as others fly
We flap our wings and smile
Cause we were all told smiling is uplifting
And yet people like me fall
Fall behind everything else
And just before we hit the ground
We feel like we can fly
But hit the ground anyway
And the crash of the fall is enough
Enough to make people who sore
Fly a little lower to the ground
If not only for a little while
Just as we were only in the air
Only for a little while
How how
Uplifting
Uplifting in the way that falling makes others
Look like they’re rising
And I’m falling
So that maybe someone can rise .