I need to go to a burning man. I need to lose myself in the woods for a year. I need to make my threshold and enter through. I heard my call a long time ago but I just never...
   I can't stand myself any longer! I must lose who I am to find what I am to become. And I can't do that in a world where I exist in everyone around me. I need a place with none of me and plenty of else. So much that I can spread myself out to one thought thick. Finally be raw, enough to see myself clearly.

   I shouldn't worry about forevers, because forevers are simply composed of nows.

   I want quiet place to sit against the tree, look out over a lake, and read until my eyes bleed pleasure, my brain secretes knowledge, and my heart wisdom.
   A place to harbor a gentle haze of mind, a place to leave myself behind. Just and think and think some more, until and passed the point of being head sore.
   I want to place with plenty of glasses, and plenty of cracks, plenty of muses and no ways back.
   A place full of forevernows and nevermores, where people are stupid enough to cross the desert because of a recurring dream. A place of pink purple sunsets and endless shores.

   How mirrors have learned to lie I will never know, because I don't recognize the person they show. I have to turn them around because even my own eyes try to deceive me.

  If I don't I will always want to. If I do I won't enjoy every step, but I will a few.
   The hands that shaped this road are now, older.
   I don't know how I will, and a not even sure I understand why I will. All I know for certain is I MUST.

   Because I can't stay here. If I do I will fall in love with possibilities, and not realities. I will fall in making people out to be more than a person. I will lose my heart to and afterimage of a dream, and even if I do I would never have pursued it anyways. I want to leave the field, sell my flock, and start my full circle, or square.
   Wherever I go I have no plan know method know fall backs, but the beautiful hair of uncut graves. With only the Spektor inside my books to hold me.
   I want to hear the symphony of stars each night and have the wind tell me its stories of its travels that day.
   I want to sleep knowing the poppies stand guard.
  
   I know nothing, and I'm ready to listen, but first I must get out of my hand made prison, burn the map smashed of compass. Put my feet anywhere besides in front of the other that way I'm going nowhere fast and never looking back.

   I want to teach myself the song of my soul, so that I can hum every bar by heart, but I can't do that here. Not in this place of paper people and towns who live their lives never getting wet.

   It says if I can ever catch my breath, that I'm strangle lading in the stench of mold and excitement of leaving and never coming back.

   Mark here this day, as I lie awake at night as the last moment I spent outside the labyrinth. I need, no, I must leave find a place where I can listen to my heart and drink and its wisdom. But that place is not here I don't know where to, but I must start.
   Thomas Edison last words were " its very beautiful over there, I don't know where they're is, but I believe it somewhere, & I hope it's beautiful"

                                                     ­     ~Crow

After a long day of realizing she discovered that her arms had grown into a car.

The car drove about as fast as her legs could carry it and stopped only when she slept. It cornered like a cat and burned oil like a lemon. It got her where she needed to go only as long as she realized it could. It went nowhere fast and everywhere slow before the old steam engine ran out of coal. Her brother said it was a foolish dream to still have at 16 but she just ran him over. Day after day her arms grew tired of taking the abuse of holding her up. It took quite a while until she realized could call a better one up. So she smiled at the weeds until they turned roses and grinned at the bees till they drowned in honey and let her drink up the extra with a straw. She frowned at the bullies outside her house until lightning smoothed them into splatters of ash. She thought a bit more of how doing her chores really ****. ****** what? Her mother would say? She just glowered at said Daddy more then you! And knew it to be true when she saw chores come to the door long after mom had gone for "Arron's". It took her a while to get back in her car and finally see her brother still stained the windshield with grow up. He was nine. Was being the term. I think that's what he would answer but no matter how big I smile at cancer or still whisks him away whispering he's mine Bea. Maybe if I could grow my chest into roses when boys look down at them for who knows what reason I can say smell away, and take one if you please. It won't be that hard to go all bizarre when I finally realized my arms were the doors to my cars.

So find please my girl of my dreams I can hardly wait longer,
My chest pleads in search of its eternal partner,
Your luscious hair and body so fair together have no rival,
Your image sweet with me complete I see us happily together,
So find me please, girl in my dreams for I am young no longer

It wasn't for my dues, the scorn, my shave,
Though the unjust are secure here with me,
The stand, I stood to plead my case,
Brick walls, clad guards, catch all hopeful scheme,
They hope four walls, a cot, dropped soap, will right,
My disposition to correct in time,
I alone fear not my demons of night,
Should my last breath not beweep, death sing kime,
There be a deaf heaven for men like I,
Fire'n brimstone pave the path to Gehenna,
Be me drenched in tears of a dead mans lye,
Still regret me not, glaciem mea venas,
My only fault myself despising wrought,
Be the ten for billion that I got caught.

Oh Friday how you ravish me,
  My breath falls short as I cling to your visage,
I'm currently getting over Monday,
  We'll be together soon...

I dreamt of you again,
  You kept me up all night,
With your promises of tomorrow,
  I can't wait until you are...

The first six days after my leave,
  Burn with an ever greater ferocity,
I miss your sweet kiss,
  Your my seventh heaven on the fifth,
Your golden potential,
  Makes Wednesday ripe with rage...

Oh I can't wait to breach your embrace,
  As your primal relief
Is only but an eve away
  Please cut me some slack,
Just wait on your back,
  And I'll prove Thursday and I
Are but only good friends...

You welcome me in with a wave and a grin,
  It's as if I've never left
I'm so sorry you had to see me away,
  With Monday thru Thursday,
But I swear I was thinking of you the whole time...

My hearts a V8 and I'm running on premium fear

Every time my eyes close to blink
The embrace of sleep tempts me
Every time my lids veil me from the world
I fear it may be my last
I fear that I'll drift off to naught with
Your face on my mind
Your name on my lips
I fear if I drift off now
I might long for your kiss

I'll try and stay up for you
To keep you out, to keep me safe
As if I lay down here with your face at heart
a lonely root of desire might try to bloom
For this flower can also break it apart
Which is why I ease my lids open
To **** this ****
Before it starts

Its like your trying to break my heart again
When you look at me that way

Come and claim me like no other
Please Hold me have me kiss me softly
Paint my lips with the colour of your love
The scarred canvas of my heart can take another
Beautiful artist from up on high
Paint me the colours of soul
I'll stay here till you finish.
Or till I'm let off on parol

Doo doodoo what can you do
Such small child alone in your bed
Doo doodoo what can you do
When the bogeyman lays eyes on your head
Doo dadee da da de do he won't stop coming for you
Look over your shoulder but not will you find
For child oh child he rests solely in your mind

Be not afraid for here I will be
Right at your side and to keep you and free from all who would harm you
To help you and hold you my ever beautiful child
So rest your eyes and open your mind for I will stand guard
Be not afraid.
The morn is not far...

Some still say "how could you possibly?..."
Which is why I still turn and walk away
I deal with the devil that pays rather then that one that does not
Why could I possibly?...
Well...
That's a coffin for another day
So for now I'll click my heels and walk, astray

My dead march peacefully and silently so
Knowing and frothing their one place to go
But I care no more no less
I'm the one they send to clean up this mess

I was once asked what would I do
If I had to make a choice,
Between that which was best for you
And that which would make you happy

Which would I choose?
You asked me Intently
Well now that I've made my choice
Please let it be the right one

"Smile!"
Click goes the little light box
As it steals away another memory
So let's connect the dots we have
And maybe it will map out our future
And maybe it'll be the way we want to go

My chances to escape
From your tempting wake
Are being sifted as wheat as we stand here together
Turning away will never grow better
From this point on it'll only get worse
Because hopefully to escape our love
I'll require a hearse

Oh where to go that you you will not follow
Another city? Another place?
Another home till tomorrow?
Your like diseased gum thats glued to my shin
A fish hook that just won't come out of my thumb
As a sin I just can't repent of...as snow white matted with crimson
After all the time I hid the door from you
You kicked it down and waltzed right through
I left you once back then
but you can't let me go
now can you?

Forsake me and just begin
This heart conditioning exercise in futility
The one where no one wins  
Just please
Satisfy this binge

Leaves swirl on the autumn breeze
As the grass waves to the sun
The pond it glistens as a sheet of diamonds
Even after we've jumped in

The birds sing summers song
As the crickets the days make long
From out perch up on this hill
We can see our home and home, where err they may be

Whispered promises of days to come
From the trees so tall they can see it
But when we see for ourselves
At the peak of our mountains climbed, begin

The reeds shooting up through the mirrored pond
As numerous as the flaws on your you
Crossed and crossed and together make new
Don't they know the rules of this life?

Can't get to close to that wood iron fence
The one with no gate to harbour
That massive telestial weight that holds the boarder
Of today's tomorrow past
And yesterday's today to come

I'm gonna try and live every day with this in mind. " I am here to do something great. I am here to do something of change for others. I will Live every day knowing that my goal isn't to live forever. But to leave behind something that will. Live every day as me best and last. So if I was to drop dead right now. I would be able to look back on my life, and be proud. To have others look back on my life and see hope. Inspiration. Wisdom. Truth. Peace. That they learn from the mistakes I made so they don't have to make the same ones to learn that lesson. I want to live. Die and be remembered and learned from long after im gone. I want my kids and grandkids to be proud to say. "That's my dad!" Or "Yep! That's my grandpa!" If I was to die tonight. I would want to die and be remembered by those I love and those who I'll never know. I want to die remembered."

I'm coughed to death
And sniffles to match
Numbered as  grains of sand on the beach
Are my ailments that are laching me up
I'm sick
Really friggin sick.

In both my body


And my head

It would be nice to know
That when you see my face
it gives you just as much hell
As yours gives me...

Today your here
tomorrow your not
I don't think I'll be able to take
my failure
that I become
with you
When your gone

Are you the one remembering
Or the one being remembered?

She says "I love you"
but what shes really saying is
"you cant have me"
only politely

Those waking hours when I cant fall asleep
its because if i do
im afriad you'll plague my dreams with your beauty
or that I'll awake in yours and poison it with my weakness



For you