All of these complex things
Seen as a puzzle
I try to make up my mind
Most know my struggle

But what is a young man supposed to do
When love is a mystery
My mind and heart call truce

My mind speaks, and says to not abandon
But my heart is pounding, echoing like a canon

my mind fights back and tries to rebuttal
The effort goes unnoticed, seems so subtle

I hear conversations between others
I'm apart of none
Being my own companion
My friendship count is one

Gossip roams the halls
I'm the main topic
Listening to the words
Burning like they're caustic

See me as a criminal
Too them danger is my game
Always talking mad ****
Yet cringe at my name

There's no need to judge
For I've made mistakes
People pretend they're better
But at least I'm not fake

My body is electrified when I see her
I wish I could have another kiss
She impacts me like no other
She leaves for a second,she's all I miss.

She's the embodiment of beauty
She's what I call mine
She speaks the language "love" smoothly
Her beauty stops time

She's fragile and delicate
Her beauty makes my mind wander
I'll make sure she's protected
As long as I'm her lover

Knife to my throat, noose on my neck, one single thought then a barrel to my head,
Pull the trigger so I can finally be the thing I wish I could be....dead

I'm an Erradict suicidal addict shunned by society
Take one step off the edge, it'll be a sight to see

Left alone and kept quiet
For all these years
My darkness was hidden
It was all I feared

Now I escape and come out of my cell, but I can see that I'll be in a fitting place called hell

One blink, one thought, one bullet

One blink and a lost love,
Scattered yet beautiful like a flock of doves,
Needed one thing from life, a companion yet hidden within despair and strife
No camouflaged motives
Hidden within my brain
A feeling of depression
my soul is blood stained

One thought and an overcoming force
I feel something but it's not remorse
I have to find love, I need it quick
If impossible,to the floor my blood shall stick
Suicidal thoughts
Yet craves for living
Left alone and hidden
Undecided and unforgiving

One bullet to end all things
Hopefully given a pair of wings
Tears rolling down each persons face
Given final words of grace
I feel a pounding in my chest
For It was fake
Tears coming down my chin
and I'm finally awake