Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
 Oct 2014 Ayman Zain
bucky
you forged your own steel in the molten lava of my belly, a pennyworth of paradise,
frozen tree branches dripping icicles down my back
this is what it feels like to be an active volcano
anatomy lessons are nothing like the curve of your spine while you're asleep
rising and falling like a familiar chorus
i know this dance well, i've memorized the steps you will take
locked it inside my chest and threw away the key
lake michigan warm underneath the mattress in your room
you, me, and stormdoor-fragile winter nights
you hold whispers in your palms like they're something holy
there's a word buried in your lungs, in the nape of your neck, and you don't quite know how to pronounce it
i can still feel your fingers exploring the dip at the bottom of my spine like there's treasure somewhere
you just haven't found it yet, and
you tell me my house is more like a graveyard, and
remember when we found red underneath our fingernails, and
remember when there was more ash in your hair than in the ground, and
i love you i love you i love you, and so on
this is a stolen book off a stolen shelf and it still says that i love you, and so on
we were never in love with each other, not how we were supposed to
"this will destroy you", but it didnt
you're bleeding on everything and my hands are starting to slip and grab my hand
(and this isn't how it's supposed to go, but i still love you, and so on)
this started out happy i honestly don't know what happened
You were the problem
The black sheep
From your hood
Blame no one else
But seek repentance
With your heart.

You stabbed your self
After backbitting the
Whole eternity
you robbed yourself
Of all you had
And planted seeds
Of a melting future
one you have sought
There after and now
Chasing the air around you

Spill your words wisely
For you set a fire
On your own coat
and thus created a
Distance of darkness
Dancing on  sharp
Stripes of a panga
and yet expecting
a safe and happy stay
I never meant to get so full
On reassurances that never last
And people who won't be coming back
I stuffed my mouth with words
Then inhaled
Words to qualm the insatiable longing
For affection, for your hand in mine
For all the ways we could pass the time
I can feel it in the pit of my stomach
The way it churns when you walk by
Acid waves and I'll never swim to shore
It's the people you care for most
Who leave you to drown in their lies
Asphyxiation by association
You knew how to hurt me most
Tonight I,

Wake to longing.

And wake to the feeling of hopelessness.

This bitter feeling taste of helplessness, regret, self-loathing and understanding.

And understanding makes this a bile of an emotion needed.

But for what cost?

As I, lie here choking back tears,

Trying to take it all in much like,

An excessive quantity of medicine the will sooner **** the liver than cure the soul.

Who can i call to cast away my doubt and shoulder this understanding?

Because honestly I’m afraid that I’ll forget soon.

Honestly, I’m afraid I’ll remember.

There’s an honest emotion in this situation somewhere and I'v taken subtle hits of its bittersweet nectar.

But to many times its ironic sense of humor has in my dreams showed its self to me.

Showed myself my fallacy.

And i know.

I know how to appease my dreams

But to call her and expose to her this truth

That she and I must be together,

That she weighs heavy on my mind.

Tell her even when faced with her situation from the moment I held her child had me wanting to be a father.

But be that as it may this is only a dream.

One that i won’t see come into fruition.

I will outlive my dreams,

I have no choice.

I refused to let my selfishness ever cause her harm.

Call it arrogance

Or self-sabotaging behavior

Or call it what you will

But this is the end of dreams,

The end of hope

And the beginning of my eternal lament.

But odd as it sounds i can’t help but feel..... Satisfied.
 Oct 2014 Ayman Zain
Tony Scallo
I have myself wrapped tightly,
Around your tempestuous finger
And I don’t seem to mind

I make myself act this way,
It seems almost all the time.

You’ve started your life, a brand new chapter,
Doing things that I can't
Seem to stop chasing after

I wrap myself around your finger,
Because I’m stuck on your laughter

I’ll admit, I’m an addict
A slave to your vibes
Your voice heals my soul, and I don’t know why

Cause it's the same one that continuously p u l l s
The hems of my heart,
Exposing it’s wool

And I bleed

Because I hurt and I ache
From all I give and you take

I expect it to be the same,
As it was back in the day

I just want to love you
And for you to love me back
Waiting for you to graduate,
Is going to give me a heart attack

I know you care for me
But it doesn’t feel the same,
Compared the memories that are lodged, deep inside of my brain

Take me back to the days
Where you were never away
Where you’d lay on my chest, and laugh on replay

I hope you still feel for me, like I do for you
After you graduate, and that this doesn't fall through
 Oct 2014 Ayman Zain
Ghazal
Oh Winter, I welcome you,
Your nippy air, your kindling hues,
And the tint they cast on my moods,
Oh Winter, if only you knew,

The simple pleasures your arrival bears-
The precious sleep that only your lullaby brings,
The sudden love for rich food you excite,
And so many other little 'winter things'-

Things like colourful gloves and socks,
And poor unsheltered, chilled pink nose tip,
And age-old pseudo-smoking out cold breath,
And cherry/strawberry/cocoa balms to coat the lips,

Doodling a beloved's name on a frosted window,
And tugging blanket under toes in bed, snugly,
The evening nap feeling more easing than ever,
Followed by heavenly gulps of warm milky coffee.

Oh Winter, despite, as the time of
Separation and Forlornness being ill-famed,
Each time you visit, you touch my senses
And leave them pleasantly tingling and inflamed.

For summer may be bright, sunny and sky-blue,
But you can be an enticing dark, a passionate maroon,
You mischievous cupid hiding under the garb of cosiness,
Refilling hearts with yearnings anew.

Welcome, dear Season of Romance,
Time to commence the routine all over again,
Of you- enthusing me with deep cold-warm sentiments,
And me- writing poems celebrating this eternal game.
Next page