Left it alone before it began
My intentions were right
My heart was set on loving again
I did my best, but the girl was merely my friend
The end was not in sight
Only there to pass by time
I needed to keep lonely by my side
I needed to speak up to keep my heart sane
For I could’ve saved heartstrings from being tugged in vain

I still remember.
The feeling of my heart exploding inside my chest with every thump.
I can remember my own emotions emptying into my body like acid
I just lay there and cry, ask “why”, moan and mump.
Never putting back together bits and pieces of my heart caused havoc
Emotional warfare. Back and forth.
She struck, I would strike.
So many half conscious actions to play her game when it too, degraded my worth
I was on a heart seek binge, for her love only, thinking, hoping one day it would be right
5 years later I decided to venture into my love-ridden heart and construct
Design a blueprint to reinvent my heart better than before
Even better than before all the scars, all the wrongs, all the obliteration
One that would convince my mind to make choices that were unconditional
If I’m to do it it’s because I would do it again and mean it each time
A heart that can be the guiding vessel I need everytime I’m losing course
Leading myself on a heart seek binge for my love only and a better love to come
I will remember

Like a bird on the wire,
like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free.
Like a worm on a hook,
like a knight from some old fashioned book
I have saved all my ribbons for thee.
If I, if I have been unkind,
I hope that you can just let it go by.
If I, if I have been untrue
I hope you know it was never to you.
Like a baby, stillborn,
like a beast with his horn
I have torn everyone who reached out for me.
But I swear by this song
and by all that I have done wrong
I will make it all up to thee.
I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch,
he said to me, "You must not ask for so much."
And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door,
she cried to me, "Hey, why not ask for more?"
Oh like a bird on the wire,
like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free.