and

I just feel

So

Unwanted.

My mental health makes me and breaks me.
I’m unique and different and quirky and so very dead inside.

The night we first met, 19th of September 2018.

We spent all night awake fighting off sleep, talking about anything and everything.

At some points we just lay there staring at each other, not saying a word.

I remember your hand caressing the side of my face and hair.

You kept wanting to tell me something but refused to allow the words freedom from your perfect mouth.

It was in that beautifully eternal moment of silence spent tracing every line of your face, committing it to memory, that I knew.

I knew that I was yours and you were mine. That I loved you and I would do anything you asked of me.

No matter what, I am and will always be, forever yours.

I skinned my knees

When I fell for you.

Because I need to start fresh.

You liked my picture

I like yours back

You sent me a message

And that was that.

I fell so hard

I thought you did too

But you were entertaining her

Whilst I was only for you.

You don’t shine as bright. Your touch isn’t as needed. Your voice not as sweet.

Receiving that one little text
Made my heart..








Drop.

Why is it
That
Your voice
is like crisp,
cold lemonade
on a hot summers day.

But the words you speak

Are like
sharp talons ripping
through
my very existence.

Why
does your love
hurt
so much.

I am broken,

But not beyond repair.

I am the hero of my own story,

I am going to save myself.

What is space? And why do you need it? Am I really that suffocating?

You didn’t love me enough to be faithful and you didn’t respect me enough to be honest.