The distance between your heart and mine
Is like the farthest place on Earth
Far-off places come to mind
Like Jakarta, Tangiers, and Perth

Take a flight roundtrip on my dime
Then you'll know what your love is worth
For the the distance between your heart and mine
Is like the farthest place on Earth

©Jason Cole

it's embarrassing but it's true.
i just googled "how to fall in love".
and i googled "how to fall in love" because i am not in love right now and i really, really want to be.
my google searchings were inconclusive and i am just as unsatisfied
mind, body, and spirit
as i was when i started typing "h" into the search bar
there is nothing in my heart right now.
my mother knocked and no one was home.
it makes me anxious:
how did i go from someone so overwhelmed by the enormity and ever-presence of her emotions
to someone so void of them that i feel an echo in my chest when someone says my name?
i've also googled sociopathy,
but apparently i'm not one of those.
so here i am, somewhere on a sliding scale
between all or nothing.
and i report from the field that it is not, in fact, all or nothing.
i know i'm not alone out here,
but it sure does feel like it,
when i reach out and even shadows don't reach back.
it's not like i've already accepted dying alone but it's not looking likely that i'll be marrying my college sweetheart, either.
i just want my feelings back.
is there a link to that in the first page of google results?
i'll even pay for shipping, i guess.

I know it isn't fair,
But there's always a slight favourite.
She has a fountain of tea-red curly hair,
A gangly teenager, half moon of a woman.

I don't know why she stands out
But she emanates a warmth
She is a child Pinterest threw up
She is fairy lights, post its and posters.

with bells in her voice
she sings in a husky deep
has no idea how talented
how emotionally brave and strong she is.

She writes beautiful, heartfelt poetry
With an envious ease and earn praise.
"Miss, I want to join Human Resources when i'm older"
She joyfully proclaims.

"There's nothing wrong with HR..."
I try my diplomatic side,
But you were born to be an artist
It says so in your defining eyes.