He'd called
Endlessly
Hoping for a
Response
Hoping for
That tension
That beautiful
Tension.

But alas,
Butterfly wings
Had long been
clipped.
Awaiting a lust
Greater than
Fantasy

She sat there,
Hoping for that
Friend
But thoughts were
littered
Chaotically,
Satisfying bitter
indecision
With unrequited
love.

It cracked
Then.
In three insignificant
Seconds,
He broke
Melted into the
Stone cold
Reality,
Hid away under
Tear-stained
Sheets,
Day in
Day out,
Until tissues
Filled those
Cracks,
Until winter
Collided with
Summer,
Until friendship
Bloomed into
Acquaintance,
Until butterflies
Slowly
Awakened.

Until it all
Simply
Faded into
A bitter-sweet
Memory

I look everywhere, and
everywhere I see you
You, you, you,
reminding me of what
I don’t have and
what you do.
Because I gave you every
inch of myself, and you
gave me a dream you
could never live up to.
And you laugh, with your friends,
about the girl you’ve deceived,
And I stand in the shower
feeling my  throat close up
and my tears give away
and my identity build
into one afraid of men.
But I’ll remind you that
I am alive, and
will continue to fight my
way through this world
But not for you, no,
for me.

It rained and poured, and I drowned
A sunken heart, a suffocated heart
They warned me
But I listened to only your voice
Your soothing voice amid the raging storm
It was bliss, the cigarette I swore I’d never smoke
Alas here I am
the person I have become
A stranger
Broken down,
pitied
Devoured by your past
But a remnant of the ash you discarded

Sometimes
I feel alone
I feel it on my skin
like my body knows
of the empty promises
and the hopelessness echoed
by my thoughts

I've been wondering
whether you feel that too
But then again,
your body needs a heart
to feel anything at all

I feel broken and damaged and weak,
All the while so utterly lost,
Because I have something so close to
my grasp that I smile, and I feel that
genuine happiness,
only to have it
ripped from the grasp I never had.
Alas, what is the point of hope
when it is destined to tear you down?
What is the point of passion,
when a single word can burn it away?
What is the point to live,
when your life is but a math
problem never meant to be solved?
What is the point of it all,
when all I feel is pure fear?

I plan every argument and confession in my head
fantasize about every fleeting crush, every job interview, every friend
yet
I seem to get everything wrong

They say
be the protagonist
but I've never been popular
never been someone to admire
I've just been me
a side-character
an ignored friend
someone to push around, make fun of,
someone who is indisputably lost in their friend's story

That's me now
but
it won't be me forever

Of Cloudless skies
and Beautiful nights,
Come starry dreams
and blithe lullabies,
Of magical dusks
and evening walks,
grow rosy cheeks
and ready lips,
Of stormy clouds
and angered mouths,
flourish bitter feuds
and maddened moods
Of wet grass
and birthed suns,
Age assuaged epiphanies
and craved symphonies
Of hour when light meets dark,
and moon meets sun,
when heaven meets earth
and cold meets warm,
I, here sat beyond my
hammock, am where
the time of dawn breaks
into that of dusk and
time becomes but a
visit into reality