Zane Smith

Zane Smith Feb 2022

why I say
"I wish you were an ******* to me"
you don't understand
how I want to be mad at you
how I wish things could work out for us
how if you were a bad person
I would feel less upset
About us not working.
I could give myself a reason
to get over you.
But of course
I hold onto
False hope instead

9/27/20

Zane Smith Feb 2022

my heart aches

for I want you to be happy
the anxiety
She brings upon you
angers me.
For you deserve
Clarity
And a clear conscious

9/25/20

Zane Smith Feb 2022

I can't remember

the last time I felt that flustered.
I don't think it's ever been that intense.
I just remember being so excited
because he actually wanted to see me.
I just remember sweating
because he was so pretty.
I remember being taken aback
because it was so natural.
But I will refuse to admit
the smiles that appear across my face
when I hear from you.
Even though I'd let you break my heart happily

#crush #flushed #overwhelmed

Zane Smith Apr 2021

I still think about it

all the time.
The night I let myself
love you entirely.
The way my brain
broke down from resistance
to the time left.
I've never FELT
that out of body.

#oldlove #firstlove #memories #heartache #thinking

Zane Smith Jan 2021

you don't have to do everything

with someone to have a good time.

Romanticize simplicity with yourself

Go to the grocery store
Get some coffee
Go to a view
Find a new place you've never been
Buy art supplies
Get lunch
Find a recipe
Go thrifting
Hang out at a park
Watch a movie
Read a book
Smoke
Listen to music
Go somewhere you haven't in awhile
Feel the energy in a metaphysical shop
Doodle on something random
Wake up early
Make a charcuterie board
Light a candle
Affirmations.
You attract what you put forward to the universe.

#simplicity #hobbies #fun #lonesome

Zane Smith Jan 2021

what made me think of you?

your snap story?
my loneliness?
ur joy
my sadness?
I miss being loved so constantly and openly
I miss being checked in on
I wish I didn't crave such validation
But for my own to be enough.

You're voice was comforting even tho
The conversation was awkward.
It was nice to hear from you

#thoughts #confusion #doubt #sadness

Zane Smith Dec 2020

where is my mind?

Forgetting you
Worrying about you
Meeting you.
new job
late missing assignments
smoking to feel other than
trying to love myself
opening up to spirituality
Missing love.